My Tribute to Sony’s wonderful Playstation 2.

What can I say about the Sony Playstation 2 (PS2)?  In my mind it’s the one of the greatest systems out there.  It had almost a 13 year run, and was sadly discontinued on January 7^th of this year.  You can’t really say anything bad about a console that grew to the age of most 8^th graders in a world where technology becomes obsolete in [right around] 6 months.

Although I do think it’s funny that all of the other discontinuation articles or blogs I’ve read say something to the affect of: “So long PS2!  Sony’s most popular console is officially off the market.”  Really?  Of course it’s the most popular console; it’s only been out for 13 years.  Before that was the Playstation 1 (PS1).  That wasn’t a terrible console, but it was up against some heavy competition from the two titans of the industry at the time.

Released in late 1995, the PS1 hit the scene.  Immediately it was in competition with the Super Nintendo until 1996, (when the Nintendo 64 came out) and the Sega Genesis.  A lot of parents were weary about buying their kids a PS1 for the same reason why they were skeptical about the original XBOX when it first came out.  It was a produced by a “new” company, with no established credibility in the video game industry.  I’m sure next to no one knew this back in 1995/96, but the only other console that Sony had ever produced was a CD based model actually financed by Nintendo.  It was a flop for a lot of reasons.  But more power to the people at Sony for taking what they learned from Nintendo and venturing out on their own to become one of Nintendo’s biggest competitors.  Who would have ever thought that would happen?

Anyways, back to the guts of what I was saying… Being right about 10 years old at the time, me and most of my friends had either a Genesis, or a SNES.  I didn’t get a PS1 until a few years later in 1999, around the same time the Sega Dreamcast came out.  I remember that Christmas!  I was actually more of a Sega fan during my youth, and needless to say, wanted a Dreamcast more than anything else in the world.  Looking back on it now, how could anyone NOT pick the Dreamcast over other systems?  Do you remember the commercials?

I guess I was more of a visually influenced person.  Or maybe I was just showing loyalty to the company that gave me my awesome Genesis.  Or maybe I was just a dumb kid.  Who knows?  But I was sucked in by the commercials, the posters that came in magazines or in the mail, and the displays they had in the stores.  What about the boxes the consoles came in?  Remember the boxes?  Give me a little color, please:

Nice and colorful. Something kids would want, right?

Wrong. Everyone took the “ninja-box” for granted. Or a lot of us did. Ok, maybe it was just me.

In either case, the PS2 ultimately won without even breaking a sweat.  The Dreamcast’s lifespan lasted a measly few years.  About 2 or 3.  I’m not even going to look it up—that’s how short it was.  While the PS2 continued its reign for that PLUS a decade.  And it’s still a console that begs to be played.  I still have mine sitting right next to my PS3, and honestly, lately, it’s been getting more use than the PS3.

Also, according to wikipedia and a few other articles, Sony has stated that there are 10,828 titles available for the PS2.  That is an enormous number, considering it took the entire lifespan of the NES to amass around 900 titles in its library.  But what else can you expect from the PS2, which is a system that brought about the success of companies like Rockstar Games and EA (Sports division) almost single-handedly.  It also made popular the Dance Dance Revolution and Guitar Hero franchises.  To this day, I can’t go to a family gathering without there being a Guitar Hero competition, and I dare you to walk into an arcade –any good, respectable arcade– without there being at least 2 DDR platforms.

All that parental fear of Sony went away with the release of the PS2.  I remember fondly when it came out.  Five days before Halloween in the year 2000.  The world was still talking about Y2K and people were still exclaiming about how “We (as a society) overcame the biggest could-be technological poop-storm in the world!” –To date, anyway.  Within 24 hours of the PS2’s release in Japan, it sold a million units.  It was the main reason why the Dreamcast’s release date was delayed 2 or 3 times (15 year old me got an ulcer every time I heard the date got pushed back).  AND it caused Nintendo to completely tear down and rewrite their policy considering 3^rd party software developers.  Nintendo, pre-PS2, wanted to be the only company making software for its consoles, with a few exceptions.  Post-PS2 Nintendo actually encouraged 3^rd party development and expanded its horizon farther than what it thought was possible.

For me, that was the turning point.  After the PS2 made itself known and told the world it wasn’t going anywhere; that was the point where Nintendo was dethroned as ruler of the world.  Remember those days?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6NhfRFSaFo

Yes, in those days, Nintendo controlled everything!

I could go on and on about the PS2.  I’m sad it’s gone, it had a good run.  Sony implemented a lot of innovations on the PS2 over the years (the games, the console itself, the controllers, networking capability) that it’s still using and improving on.  Look at a Dualshock 2 and a Dualshock 3 controller and tell me what the differences are.  OK, one is wireless, you got me.  Other than that?

In closing, thank you Sony for the Playstation 2.  It had a great run, and I look forward to playing it for years to come (plus now is the time to hit up the flea markets, yardsales, ebay, whatever because the price has gone way down on everything!).  Rest in Peace PS2.

I better cut it here before I keep, uh… whatever the writing equivalent of “rambling” is.  I just wanted to use this as an opportunity to let my fans and readers know that I am back from hiatus, and will be continuing to add to this site as often as I can.  Thank you for coming back to my blog, and I hope to have a lot of more good stuff out for you in the coming weeks.  Comment, share, subscribe, whatever… just keep reading!

–The Jester.

*All images were found by using Google Image Search and are property of their respective owners.*

*All videos were obtained through YouTube search and are property of their respective owners.*

Nerdy Monday 23: A Tribute to the Sega flops.

There are some video game systems sought after by collectors now for being huge failures.  There are many, but I’m going to focus on the 3 that I’ve had the most contact with.  So let’s get right down to it with…

The Sega Saturn:

Flop.

This system made its debut back in 1995, and was discontinued 3 short, disappointing years later.  It was hugely popular in Japan, but never reached anything substantial in America because of the debut of the Sony Playstation, and one of my personal all time favorites, the Nintendo 64.  It came out as a 32-bit system, which was pretty cool at the time, I guess, but it took too long to develop, and Nintendo’s N64 was released in 1996 with DOUBLE THE BITS! Therefore twice the graphics.  I mean, the Sony Playstation was released a year before the Saturn as a 32-bit system and somehow that even looked a lot better on screen.  not to mention the controls were more fluid, and the games were a lot more enjoyable.  Speaking of controls…

What the hell is this?!

I bought my Saturn on eBay for $3.24 with $3.00 shipping.  It came with all the hook-ups, a controller, and a game.  And I still believe to this day I got ripped off.  The games are shoddy at best, and it just makes me want to play something that at least has some semblance of a video game.

Rating: -3 Stars.  Horrible.

The Sega 32x:

How do you turn a 16-bit system into a 32-bit system?  You build an add on for it that makes no sense whatsoever!  The 32x plugs into the top of a Sega Genesis as if it were a game.  Then you have to run a special cable from the back of the Genesis to the back of the 32x.  THEN you have to run an a/v cable from the 32x to the TV, and STILL the 32x has it’s own ac adapter that has to be plugged into the wall.  The Genesis also has to be plugged in.  Why so many cables?  This should have been its own system.  I think James Rolfe explains it best, please give this video a watch:

Rating: One half star.  There may have been one or two cool games.

The Sega Dreamcast:

Okay, this one wasn’t really a flop.  In fact it has its own cult-like following and is getting more and more home made or “homebrewed” games on it every week.  Check out http://www.dcisozone.com to see if I’m lying.  I love this system and the many, many games it has on it. It’s fabulous, and worth every penny of the $20 (or so) you’ll spend on it.  And the games that you download and burn are perfectly legal to (or so I’ve heard, I am not liable for what you do) burn.  Sega isn’t making any money on it.. no one is making any money on it anymore, so why would anyone care?

Rating: 4 Stars, shouldn’t have been a flop.

The Sega CD:

Remember this thing?  How awful was it?  See how fast it takes you to download an emulator for this system in its entirety, and tell me it isn’t a pile of poop.  At the time, it was innovative and made it able to have movies segway from one scene in the game to the next instead of a series of text boxes.  That didn’t make the games any better though.  Like all of the other Sega flops, namely the Saturn, the controls were crappy, and it made you want to maim yourself with your controller… or at the very least strangle someone else with the cord.

This is the abomination you had if you had both the 32x and the CD attachment.

Rating:  -1 Star… it doubled as a CD player!

Overall though, Sega is still a widely successful company, even if Nintendo had to put them in their place back around 1999 or so.  It remains to be the biggest 3rd party contractor to Nintendo and comes up with almost half of the 3rd party designed games.  Way to go Sega…  I hope you jump back into the hardware market soon!

 

There will be another installment of flops, next week.

The jester.

 

*All images and videos are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google Image Search.  All videos obtained through Youtube Search.*

Top 10 Tuesdays 14: For Them Sick People Out There

It’s that time of year again.  Everyone at my day job either has been or is now sick.  Same thing goes for the people at my night job, my weekend job, everyone I tutor, and everyone I meet.  Except for me, of course.  My immune system is one of the parts of my body that is actually more awesome than I am.

Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to give you some suggestions as to how to spend the time off you’re inevitably going to take at the slightest tickle in your throat.  Therefore, let’s get right down to brass tax with:

The Top 10 Video Games To Play When You’re Sick

#10.  Virtua Cop  (Sega Saturn)

You’re already in a crappy mood.  You may as well try and play a crappy game on a crappy system.  Playing this game with a normal controller is horrible, and I’m guessing playing with a light gun controller isn’t very much better.  And finding a plot in this game is harder than finding a pulse a palm tree.  But it’s worth checking out.  And I think I got my copy for $1.00 including shipping.

#9.  Bubsy II  (Sega Genesis)

This is a silly, childish, “feel-good” kind of game that most people would consider a “kiddy-game” but it’s still awesome.  I could go on for pages and pages about all the different quirky little things involved with this game that are enjoyable.  But I don’t have time, because this is just a top 10 list.  Consider this one chicken soup for your video game itch.

#8.  Aladdin  (Sega Genesis)

My mom used to really get into this game, so i don’t know how well this one will work for everyone, but for me it’s a comfort game.  So if you miss your mommy, or she isn’t there for one reason or another, to take care of you, this is the game to play.

#7.  Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen  (PS2)

There is never a bad time to play this game.  Optimus Prime’s butt-kicking ability mixed with the other characters special moves that you get to play will have you feeling like you can take on the world again in no time!  Definitely worth checking out.. I think I paid about $6.00 for my copy, and it is well worth the investment!

#6.  Mario 64  (N64)

This is a great overall game that used to take weeks out of our respective schedules to beat.  Now you can get it done if you can manage to get 2, possibly 3 days off from work/school.  Plus it’s good to play this game to the point where you can beat it, if only to have it under your belt.

#5.  Speed Devils  (DC)

You can definitely beat this game if you aren’t sick enough to get more than one day off.  There’s a glitch you can use that will help you out.  The most expensive car is $200,000.  The one next to it in the showroom is $20,000.  Once you save up the 20 grand, look at the car that you can afford with it, then if you switch to the $200,000 car (I think it’s called the Mystere) and hit “A” to purchase it as quickly as possible before the new price shows up on the screen.  If you do it correctly, you buy the $200,000 car for 1/10th the price.  It’s also the fastest car that will ensure you win every race.  Check it out.  With or without the glitch it’s a fun and enjoyable game to play.  I think the Dreamcast in general is that way, and they all are very cheap, and as I’ve mentioned before, the games are practically free.  So considering what you pay for ir, the Dreamcast will probably give any collector the most bang for their buck.

#4.  Kid Chameleon  (Sega Genesis)

This is a really great game.  I think it’s one of the hidden gems in the Sega library.  It’s kind of tricky, and just a little bit weird.  I forget what the plot is, but there is one there.  They call him Kid Chameleon because you can run around and get different suits that change you into different things.  There’s one that turns you into Jason (from the Friday the 13th  movie franchise), there’s a Samurai suit, and my favorite (which you don’t get until about the 6th level) suit that turns you into a tank.  There’s 35 (?) I think different suits in all and there are about 5 different suits in each level.  It’s fun running around and just seeing what the suits can do.  It’s even more fun finding your favorite one and dominating the entire game with it!  It’s an average of $4.00 on eBay, or you can get it for the Nintendo Wii’s Virtual Console for 500 points (or $5.00).

#3.  Cubivore  (Game Cube)

I don’t know where to start with this one.  It’s cute, it’s crafty, it’s enjoyable, and it’s just great.  It’s easy to slip into a game like this and find yourself in a trance, trying to get farther and farther into it.  Look at this video, it’s long but it’ll give you a good feel for the game:

Great, right?  It’s a little different, and you can tell that this is not a cookie-cutter game.  That’s why I like it so much!  For just about every popular or trendy game out there you can name, I can retort with at least 10 games that are at least 90% the same.  How many games have you played like Cubivore?  One… and that’s only if you’ve played Cubivore.  It’s worth checking out, and it’s colorful, and a little complex.  At the very least, it’ll make your NyQuil trip pretty interesting.

#2.  Virtual Hydlyde  (Sega Saturn)

This game is friggin’ weird.  It’s perfect for playing while you’re under the weather.  It’s impossible to get bored with.  The map is randomly generated, and it’s so terrible it’s great.  It’s also so great it’s terrible.  You can Youtube some of the game play on this game.. but I won’t dare link it onto this article.  I have not only a moral, but an ethical problem with that.  It’s unspeakably horrible.  Playing this game while you’re ill will be best if you take lots of breaks to puke.  …because you’re sick.  Oh and because the game sucks too.

#1.  Dr. Mario  (NES)

This is a classic, simple, easy, feel-good game.  It’s not considered a “true Mario” game because there are no pipes, no raccoon tails, no fire flowers, no koopas, and no goombas.  It’s a tetris-esque knock off with Mario thrown in to boost the sales numbers.  It’s very worth it, and the best part is it’s beatable even if you’re sick as a dog.

There’s my rundown of how you should spend your sick time.  Anything else is a waste of time.  So instead of heading to the pharmacy aisle of your local grocery store, head to gamestop instead.

See you there.

The Jester.

*All images and videos are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google image search. All videos obtained through Youtube search.*

Nerdy Monday 18: Is that John Stamos?

 

That’s right.  The man himself, John Phillip Stamos.  Of the Greek Stamatopoulos’.  Known and adored by millions as the protagonist of the popular ’90′s sitcom Full House, Uncle Jesse.  That’s the first time I think my generation was exposed to Mr. Stamos.  Eventhough he got his first big break as Blackie Parrish on General Hospital in 1982.  About a decade before he looked like this:

Pound for pound, his hair is more awesome than you.

That caption is totally true.  He’s also the only man alive or dead, in the entire universe, past-present-and-future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions that successfully rocked a mullet.  No, it didn’t look good on you, nor your mom, let it go.

What I liked about his role as Jesse during the run of Full House was how much character development he progressed through.  Early on in the show, he was the motorcycle riding, leather jacket wearing, bad boy.  Everyone loved him for who he was!  And as the show went on, he fell in love with Rebecca Donaldson, sewed his wild oats, had some kids, settled down, and became an even more lovable character.  He slowly transformed from the Elvis loving delinquent that kids pretended to be, into the Elvis loving adoring uncle/successful musician that kids a little older wanted to grow up to be.  He was always my favorite character on that show.  But that’s enough about that, I don’t think I have to mention Full House when I bring up John Stamos, because his talent, coolness, versatility, and awesomability (yeah, I have to make up variations of that word to describe his Stamosness) reaches farther than I think you can even imagine.

For instance, I have been thinking about writing something about Mr. Stamos for a few weeks now and just today I started following him on twitter.  The most recent tweet I read from his profile was:

“RT @bobsaget Time to get my shit together today/gonna make a statue of @JohnStamos with it.- good, maybe HE’LL listen to your crap!”

What?  Uncle Jesse would never say something like that.  But Stamos can get away with it, he’s just that… whatever “that” is, he’s it.

After Full House was cancelled…

Fun Fact: did you know that during the first season of Full House, Stamos’ character was credited as being named Jesse Cochran?  During the second season, he changed his last name to Katsopolis to “highlight his Greek heritage”.

…Stamos made a bunch of made for TV movies, a couple of stage productions, a few flopped TV series’, and some commercials.  He made a short film entitled simply: “I am Stamos”.  I have not seen it, oh but I so want to!  I have no idea why he didn’t capitalize on his awesomeness right after the Full House chapter of his life came to a close.

Think about where you’ve heard his name, and what you heard it for lately.  Can’t remember?  Let me help you:

• He’s getting ready to be honored by the “Project Cuddle” people.
• The Michigan extortion case he was involved with.
• He was one of the first people to board the new Disney Dream Cruise line thing.  Whatever that was all about.
• Glee.
• He roasted Bob Saget.
• He toured with the Beach Boys.
• Recorded with Billy Joel.
• I’m pretty sure he had something to do with the “Stamos” in “Rebecca Romijn-Stamos”.
• 2007 TV Land Award for “Favorite Elvis Impersonation” from Full House.

Aside from I am Stamos, I could only find 2 cameo appearances in his filmogrophy.  It should be more like 400, in my opinion.  I wish I could find more cameos, but I did find:

• A Daytime Emmy nomination [for his breakout role].
• A shared Emmy nomination for the Beach Boys miniseries.
• 2 Golden Icon awards.
• A Soapy award.
• The above mentioned TV Land award, and a nomination for another one.
• 2 Young Artist Award nominations
• A Young Artist Award

This man has been the epitome of “cool” since the 1990′s, won awards, married models, and lived a very Full Life.  That should be the name of his next show.. as long as I get a credit for that.  He was a heart throb for women of all ages there for a while, and probably still is for some cougars out there.  Have you seen him lately?

Your mom would get with him, if she had the chance.

Mr. Stamos has kept a very clean reputation, played the bad boy, divorced a Victoria’s Secret model, and been the envy of boys and girls, men and women everywhere.  John, you’ve become a pop culture icon, and a staple to a lot of peoples childhood.  I hope to see more of you in the future.

“Is that John Stamos?  Did Nick know John Stamos?  Were they brothers?” ~Nick Swardson.

The Jester.

Nerdy Monday 16: The Sitcom Wisemen.

There’s a formula to the cast of any given sitcom.  There has to be a star who is somehow naive.  It’s up to the supporting cast to guide and direct him/her on their journey.  In the supporting cast, there has to be a wealthy person, a best friend, a girlfriend who post often proves to be the voice of reason, and of course there has to be a wise man, or a mentor.  I’ve picked 3 of my favorite wise men, and dons some research on them.  This is my tribute to the sitcom wise men!

Wilson, from Home Improvement.

In the world of the sitcom wise men, Wilson was in a class all his own.  He was in the popular show based on Tim Allen’s stand up comedy that ran all the way through the 1990′s.  Literally, the show ran from 1991 to 1999.  And I’m pretty sure Wilson was in every episode at least once.  Wilson, or known by his full name:  Wilson Wilson, Jr. played the extremely intelligent best friend and next door neighbor to Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor.  And whenever Tim follied up in his every day life, he ended up chatting across that infamous fence with Wilson.  Time after time, Wilson had the best possible answer for Tim.  One of the running gags in the show (if you remember) is that Tim would take that advice that Wilson gave him (that was usually most noted by Wilson’s historical points, or famous philosophical works made to drive the point home) and he would turn around and try to tell them to his wife in the show, or his audience on Tool Time.  Every single time, he would misquote Wilson, or the name of the person who made the famous work, or the historical event.  He would mispronounce Wilson’s long words, on a few occasions, and those were my favorite ones.

If you isolate the persona of Wilson, and look back on the show, that was the 1990′s way of trying to give your children (namely my generation) a moral compass.  Exactly the same way The Animaniacs were allowed on the WB Network because of the last 40 second segment entitled “The Wheel of Morality”.  You can’t blame them.  They were the ’90′s, they always had some awkward way of trying to teach kids the right thing to do.

Wilson, we thank you for all that you gave to us (and our kids) growing up, and wish you were still around to impart your wisdom.

And here’s what he looks like in real life:

He was also the creepy old guy in the horror-cult-classic Pet Sematary.

Dr. Cox, from Scrubs.

What can I say about this guy?  Dr. Percival Cox, M.D. has been a mentor to me since I started watching the show Scrubs in its 3rd season.  I’ve been a closet fan of John C. McGinly (the actor who plays Dr. Cox) for a long time.  He’s one of those guys who has been in every movie ever made.  Some of you may remember him from Platoon, or Wall Street. The younger kids probably first saw him as “one of the Bob’s” in Office Space. Any ways you slice it, he is awesome.  He is the epitome of awesome.  Back during my last few years of college, my friends and I would party on Friday & Saturday nights while watching DVDs of this show.  Each one of us had a character that we most related our personalities to.  I got elected Dr. Cox.  One of my friends was the Janitor, our friend “Turk” automatically was Turk.  And the list went on.

When word of that little game got around campus a little bit, some people looked down on me because I was “A Dr. Cox”.  I didn’t care though, I took it as a huge compliment, he is the smartest person on the show.  I mean, who else could give out little nuggets of wisdom like these?  Haha, I love it.  And if anyone disagrees with me, I think this video clip of Dr. Cox’ top 5 rants will change your mind about him.

Also, another thing about Dr. Cox is how he delivers his wisdom.  He runs the entire gambit of wisdom-giving.  He can be hateful and sarcastic, he can be downright arrogant and a little rude.  He can be completely angry, and he can also be nice, gentle, kind, and sincere.  If you’ve ever watched the show, you know what I’m talking about and you can see the compassion in his eyes when he’s talking about something he truly cares about.  He has taught me to refrain from “biting” someone (figuratively, of course) when a simple “growl” will suffice.  And I guarantee you will learn a lot and have a few very good laughs if you scroll through that Coxism website I linked to up there.  Thank you Perry Cox for coming onto the scene and being a supporting cast member that steals the show!

Last, but certainly not least, Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World.

George Hamilton Feeny.  Who doesn’t remember this character?  The way I think about this role, played by veteran actor William Daniels, is that it progressed throughout the entire series to envelope relationships with all of the other characters.  There wouldn’t have been a Boy Meets World, at least as we know it, had this character not been involved.  Think about this seriously, for a minute!  He started out in the series as Cory & Shawn’s (or “Sean’s”, whatever) 6th grade teacher.  Fast forward to the end of the series, and he helped out every single character through various troubling and sometimes even tragic circumstances.  I would go so far as to say he was the sole person to advance everyone elses character to the next phase of life.  He helped Shawn out when his mom ran off and his dad went to look for her.  He helped Cory out pretty much every episode.  He was a “Wilson” to the Matthews’ (the parents), and was basically a foundation for the older brother Eric.  In so many ways he helped character development, while doling out good advice and being a moral compass, simultaneously.   And he did it all without being maniacal, egocentric, aggressive, or manipulative.  And rarely did he ever raise his voice.  He was a true role model that kids my age were lucky enough to aspire to.  Thank you George Feeny for everything!

Check out this video that is very memorable to me, and was probably one of the more funny Feeny moments:

That’s my rundown for Nerdy Monday this week.  See you by the T.V.

The Jester.

*All images and videos are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google Image Search.  All videos obtained through Youtube.*

Top 10 Tuesdays 6: Vids to play on your honeymoon.

In hopes of getting through all this winter-y nastiness, I figure I’m going to start looking forward to Spring.  Spring is a wonderful time of the year, and I’d be willing to put money on the fact that there are more weddings in Spring than there are in any other season.  It’s the time of rebirth, rejuvenation, Spring Fever, and starting anew.

If you’re a hardcore gamer, you play games in any given circumstance.  And I mean, on your honeymoon is no exception.  You are going to have some down time in between all the consummating, believe it or not.  Hardcore gamers are more loyal to their video games than mailmen are to the mail.  Nor rain, nor sleet, nor nuptials are going to keep you from playing.  Nor power outages, nor earthquakes, nor slow internet connectivity either.  None of that will stop a true gamer, we’re like electronic Boy Scouts.. we’re always prepared.

It’s a sad but true fact that there are a lot of video gamers out there that rush through work, skip social events, even flake out on funerals [which is astonishingly disrespectful by the way] when they’re in the middle of something on their favorite game.  With that being said, let’s jump right into it, and talk about the…

Top 6 Video Games to Play on Your Honeymoon!

I know what you’re thinking… and yes, this is the first top 10 I’ve done that doesn’t go up to 10.  But if you remember my first Top 10, I said specifically that sometimes I’ll go past 10, sometimes I won’t make it to 10.  So get over it and enjoy the rest of the post.

#6.  The Little Mermaid  (Game Boy/Super Game Boy (SNES))

Okay, I’m going to be honest on this one.  This isn’t only for your new bride to play while you’re in the bathroom, or running down the block to pick up food or whatever it is you’re doing leaving the hotel room.  This is actually a challenging game.  It goes to show that some graphic design companies (in this case Capcom) can take something as little kid-ish and as girly as the little mermaid and actually make a decently challenging game out of it.  I get frustrated playing it, it’s quite hard.  And to be even more honest, it’s only on this list because it’d be a good tool for you and your better half to bond over early on in your marriage. Who knows?  Later on, if she starts getting on your case about playing too much C.O.D. Black Ops, you’ll have at least a little ammunition for your side of the argument.

#5.  18 Wheeler Pro American Trucker (Dreamcast)

If you haven’t played this game, it’s pretty awesome.  The only thing about it is, I’m pretty sure it isn’t realistic at all.  It’s like the difference between Forza Motorsports and Speed Devils.  If you haven’t played those games either, go play them.  AFTER you play 18 wheeler.  I included this game on this list because you’ve just taken a leap of faith with a woman to embark on a new life together.  You need something to help you feel like a man.  Short of taking classes, changing your lifestyle, getting your CDL, and buying a truck… this is it.

#4.  Halo 2  (XBox)

I know, I know.. You’re thinking “Jester… enough with the friggin’ Halo already!”  But I’m telling you, there is never a bad time to play it!  It’s addicting, it revolutionized first person shooters back in the day.  Then Call of Duty manned-up and took the whole fps genre to a different level with their entire franchise.  This game is perfect to play with your new wife because you can either work together towards a common goal [ridding the universe of those pesky aliens] or you can battle to see who is the better soldier.  The choice is yours, just remember… while playing with a new bride, it’s important to take into account that from now on there are going to be consequences to every action you take.  Think about that for a while.

#3.  A Boy and His Blob  (NES)

I can’t report on the new remake they did of this game on the Wii, because I haven’t played it yet.  But this game came up in a conversation I had with a friend of mine about a week ago.  I started thinking about it, and while I was writing up this article, I decided to include it.  I haven’t played through this game in its entirety since I was about 8 years old, so I can’t tell you all about the plot and everything, but here’s what I remember:  You play as the boy, and you have your own blob.  You feed the blob different flavors of jellybeans, and depending on the flavor, the blob changes into a certain shape.  A ladder, or a bridge, or something.  It’s up to you to place the blob in the right place, and feed him the right flavor of jellybean.  It gets rather cryptic, and intriguing.  And if you’re playing it on your honeymoon, you wife is going to be there.  And since you have a wife now, she’s going to remember everything for you.  And since there are about 100 different flavors of jellybeans, and you’ve been married for less than a week, you can use her honed skill to your advantage.  It might be the only time in the marriage you get to do so.  Let me know how that one goes!

#2.  Rampage  (NES)

This also came out on Playstation 1, and again on the PS2, but there’s nothing like playing the original 8-bit game.  It’s a fantastic 2 player game where both of you play as monsters and you just keep traveling right, and destroying buildings.  It’s perfect for if you feel a fight coming on, or if you’ve been playing all the other games on the list, and hogging the controller.  If she actually wants to play with you, great!  If she doesn’t, then you have a whole new set of problems on your hands.

The Winner, and #1.  Battle Toads  (NES)

As we all know, this game is a thinly veiled attempt to cash in on the Ninja Turtles franchise.  This game came out not too long after the TMNTs hit the scene.  So a different company came up with a far-fetched synonym for “ninja” and a different amphibian, threw them together, and marketed them as something different.  It’s been going on since the dawn of time.  Anyways, that’s not why this is the best game to play on your honeymoon.  The reason why is because there is no versus mode, only cooperative.  It’s an arcade style button-masher with one fatal glitch… they left friendly fire turned on.  So if your new mate is talking too much and frustrates you to the point of slapping her or something (or, vice-versa for the girls out there reading this) don’t slap her in real life, that’s a horrible way to go.  Pop in this game, and go to town on her/him.  Blame it on the glitch, they’ll never know the difference.

See you at the reception,

The Jester.

 

*All images are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google Image Search.*

Nerdy Monday 15: My Tribute to a Little Game Entitled Simply: PAPERBOY!

Oh my gosh.  Paperboys.  What can I say about them?  I was never a paperboy, but if being one were anything like the movies or T.V. shows made them out to be, it was a rite of passage into the work force.  It helped boys become men.  It was a fast track to manhood.  However you want to say it, it was a huge responsibility.

This brings me to my first point, why is it that all the way through the entire game of paperboy, you’re delivering papers during mid day?  All the paperboys I knew growing up had to wake up at 3:30am, and deliver all of their newspapers before everyone woke up.  Not while they were out mowing their grass and sending their lawnmower at you at 25 miles an hour, or letting their dogs out of their house as you rode by.  I’d bet you that if the paperboy in the popular video game wasn’t so lazy and got up before mid afternoon, he wouldn’t run into half of the inane obstacles he did!  I’d play that game, it’d be more like having a real paper route.

Paperboy was an arcade game released in 1984.  There was a movie released about it at the PEAK of paperboy’s popularity, in 1994.  So there was a good 10 year run right there.  I can’t remember if paper boy was on the regular Nintendo (NES), but I know there was a version of it released for the Sega Genesis.  There was a sequel to paperboy entitled just: PAPERBOY 2 released on the Super Nintendo (SNES).  And as far as I can tell, they are the exact game.  LET’S CHECK OUT SOME SCREEN SHOTS!

Here’s paperboy 1:

Right?

And here’s paperboy 2:

Okay?

Not much of a difference there.  I was going to dedicate an entire section of this article to comparing, and another entire section was going to be dedicated to contrasting Paperboy & Paperboy 2.  But check it out, in Paperboy 1, you ride your bike, try not to crash, refill papers as needed, dodge hazards, deliver papers to white houses, don’t deliver to red houses, and try not to break anybody’s window.  IF POSSIBLE, you try to make the paper go into the mailbox.  In Paperboy 2, you ride your bike, try not to crash, refill papers as needed, dodge hazards, deliver papers to white houses, don’t deliver to red houses, and try not to break anybody’s window.  And IF POSSIBLE, you try to make the paper go into the mailbox.  In a Venn diagram, these 2 games would be the exact same circle intersecting at every possible point.

Which begs the question:  Why was this game so popular?  Everyone had, or has played this game.  It seeped its way into our pop-culture.  Perfect example:

PAPERBOY THE MOVIE: TRAILER

Sorry, that was going to be a picture, but the file corrupted.  But the video is even better.

So seriously, why was this game so great?  Was it the simplistic concept?  Was it how easily relatable the game play was?  Was it the innocence of the subject matter?  Was it the family friendly tone?

My theory is your parents bought it for you in hopes that it’d inspire you to get your own damn job in order to be able to buy your own video games.  See the logic there?  They bought you a video game, because they were hoping that they’d never have to get you another one in real life.  They were hoping that you would get so good at it on your Sega Genesis, that it would act as a simulator (of sorts) to get you a bunch of practice.  Do you see?  Then once you beat the game once or twice, they’d drop the bomb on you, saying “well, try it in real life”.

Knowing you though, I hope your parents didn’t hold their breath.

Because God forbid they’d have to keep spending $28.99 (the original retail price of Paperboy) on some dag-gone video games!  And seriously, did anyone ever beat it?  Did you ever beat Paperboy?  I never did, and I don’t know anyone who ever has, so we all would have made horrible paperboys in real life.

All kidding aside though, I think it was something about the lines, the restricted areas and the random obstacles that make this a rare game insomuch as it is both fun AND difficult.  Kind of like Bubble Bobble!  Any way you slice it though (I like it julienne), be it innocence, ease, or just simple nostalgic value this game somehow rode off the virtual streets of a fictitious neighborhood full of people that just wanted to read the news… and rolled right into our hearts.

See you at the mailbox, neighbor.

The Jester.

Nerdy Monday 14: “The Secret World of Alex Mack”– WHAAAAAT?

First of all, I hope everyone had an amazing holiday season!  Mine was fantastic.. I’m fatter, I’m tired-er, and I’m happier.  And it’s time to OFFICIALLY take my blog articles off hiatus.  So here I am.. The Jester, is back in the house everyone.

Secondly, I’d like to thank everyone for visiting my blog even through the hiatus.  December was by fay my best month ever!  I love getting the hits, and I hope everyone enjoys what I write, I try to make it fun, and speaking of which, let’s get started on…

NERDY MONDAY FOURTEEN, BABY!!!1  This week we’re talking about…

How awesome was this show?!  Wait a second, before I ask that, do you even remember it?

It was THE SHOW to be watching between 1994 & 1998.  It replaced “Clarissa Explains it All” in the SNICK line-up.  Remember SNICK?  Man, what I wouldn’t give to get back to that time.. it was so much simpler.

Anyways, Alexandra “Alex” Mack was “an ordinary teenager, until an accident changed her life” so says the intro.  If you remember this show, you remember that intro.  A truck crashes, and spills a top-secret chemical called “GC-161″ all over Alex.

I guess it wasn’t a coincidence that Alex’s father, George, works for the chemical company, or as it’s called in the show “The Plant” that produced GC-161.

I don't even think he knows he's on a show.

 

It’s also important to note here that the guy that plays George Mack has a pretty unimpressive acting resume.  BUT, before that sinks in, I want to say that at least he has an acting resume.  Much more than many, many people have.  But that’s the weird thing, I thought back then that he played an awesome dad.  And in doing research for this article, I came across a few episodes and watched them all the way through, he still played a great father figure, and a loving husband.  I think he did an outstanding job as one of the “background characters”.  –Oh come on, this was a kid’s show on Nickelodeon in the ’90′s, all parents were “background characters”.  I think that Mr. Blakely was a very underrated actor, and if he were given the opportunity, would have been a pretty big star.

Moving back to the show itself though, The Plant, was owned by one Danielle Atron.

I didn't feel like looking to hard for a picture of her character.

The mythical Paradise Valley is where all of this takes place, and Ms. Atron is so rich that her name is all over it.  She’s another background character that plays the antagonist of the whole plot-line.  She owns The Plant, she knows “some kid” was affected in the accident, and moves her life goal towards finding “said kid”.  That’s about it for her.  Ms. Atron has tons of money, and blows it all on trying to find Alex Mack, which I can only assume lives less than 30 minutes away from her Plant — Oh come on.. Alex’s dad commutes back and forth from there every day!

This is a family friendly show though, so let’s keep our feet on the ground, shall we…

Danielle Atron hires a “hitman”, or should I say henchman, named “Vince”, the maniacal head of security at the plant.  Vince is supposed to be a contract killer, but he is terrible at it.  In one of the episodes I recently watched (which was one of the ones towards the end of the entire series) Vince comes close to catching Alex.  And the dialogue between him and Ms. Atron go a little something like this:

Ms. Atron: ..and Vince, when you find the child.. this time…

Vince:  I can collect our agreed upon price?

MA:  Yes Vince, seven figures, like I promised.

V:  Right away Ms. Atron.

Really?  They agreed years ago on a seven digit price for Alex?  Now realistically, a seven figure price tag is anywhere between $1,000,000 and $9,999,999.  but even more realistically, this was a kids show, so it was probably just a cool, even million.

Which begs the question.. if Vince was supposed to be some cold-hearted, million-dollar-contract collecting evil-doer… how in the name of all that’s pure and sacred in this world, did the show go on for 4 freakin’ years?  Did anyone see that movie “Smokin’Aces”?!  If Ms. Atron hired one of THOSE guys… this show would have been just that.  A show.  ONE show.  Probably only one of those half-shows, like robot chicken, or aqua teen hunger force.

All of that aside, it was fun growing up watching this on T.V.  Alex had wonderful parents, an awesome (and awesomely intelligent) sister who helps her through the whole ordeal.  Her best friend is awesome.  Please forgive me though, both of these characters are kind of minor to the think I want to talk most about.

Ladies & Gentlemen... (mostly gentlemen)...

How hott was she?  During the ’90′s, the show “Alex Mack” was categorized as Science Fiction, Fantasy, Teen Drama, and Comedy. Also during that time, the girl who played Alex Mack herself, was categorized as “one of America’s favorite 15 year olds”, and “the proverbial ‘girl next door’”.  And for good reason!  I don’t know if when she got drenched in GC-161 that one of her powers were to make tween boys fall in love with her, but it certainly happened.  Every guy I knew had a crush on her.

Larisa Romanovna Oleynik:

Was her father Ukrainian for naming her that, or something?  Yes, he was.  Therefore she has a Slavic sounding name.  Now, before you go all xenophobic on me, let’s remember some of the other extremely attractive Eastern European (mostly Ukrainian) woman that have caught our eye as of late…

First off there’s Yana Klochkova, the Ukrainian swimmer who won 5 Olympic medals during her career, 4 being golden in color.  Not to mention, she looked like this:

She's a swimmer. Remember when I told you that?

Next on our list is Olga Kurylenko.  A Ukrainian actress who got her big break in Quantum of Solace.  And seriously,  why is she so attractive?

Maybe it's a little because she was a Bond girl.

Then of course we have Anna Kurnikova…

Never won a single tournament, but everyone knows her name.

Also, who can forget about our favorite character in the Resident Evil movie franchise, Alice?  Also known as Milla Jovovich.

To be fair though, not too many women holding those guns wouldn't be sexy.

There’s also Daria Webowy.  Never heard of her?  She’s been on the Italian cover of Vogue a couple of times, and was the face of Prada’s Fall/Winter line.  And this is why…

She makes a great "Lady in Red".

And last but not least, we have the underrated Mila Kunis.  Some remember her from That 70′s Show, some [younger people] know her from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but mostly people know her from voicing ‘Meg” on Family Guy.  Anyways, here she is…

Totally the opposite of Meg, in real life.

Anyways, that’s enough of that tangent.

Larisa Oleynik, or as her family calls her “Rissy”, went on to play in a few different movies, most notably 10 Things I hate About You, alongside Heath Ledger… one of my favorite actors of all time (for the Joker thing, not the Brokeback thing).  She also played in The Adventures of Pete & Pete, 3rd Rock From the Sun, Boy Meets World, and Malcom in the Middle. Quite an acting resume she acquired before she was able to legally drink a beer.  Right?

Any way you slice it, there were a lot of good moments in the show, and we watched every episode with joy.  It was always great, and I’m pretty sure I can speak for all of the guys my age when I say…. I miss SNICK, and Alex Mack.

*All Images are property of their respective owners, and may be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google Image Search.”

Top 10 Tuesdays 4: Christmas Break.

The season is upon us.. the Winter weather is finally here, and we’re starting to get more time off of work/school.  This is a special Top 10 list for the Christmas season, especially Christmas break.  Or it could be used for any random snow day you happen to have.  It might do really well for any day you actually play hookie from work, too.  This is for the days you are isolated, it’s cold outside, you don’t want to do anything you can’t do from underneath a blanket (Snuggies would work too).  This is for the days you are cut off from everyone and everything but your refrigerator, your video games, and maybe a coffee/hot cocoa maker.  You know those days, the ones where you have no obligations, and no one else is with you except maybe a roommate, a sibling, or a significant other.  The kind of days that just feel different, the way excused absences always do.

For these kind of days, you want something a little challenging, but that’s not too hard to figure out either.  For most of us, that crosses Ecco The Dolphin right off the list.  It’s my opinion though, that in cases like this, you have 2 choices:  1) Either you go back and play games you’ve already beaten, and look for every secret level, and hidden item.  Or 2) you take a tiny step outside of your comfort zone and play some games that you wouldn’t normally play.

If you’re more into FPS games, go with a racing game, or RPG/RTS.  If you’re more into puzzle/problem solving games, go with a simple button masher.  If you’re more into fantasy, find something from the action/adventure section.  Let’s jump right into it with…

#10.  Final Fantasy Origins (PS1)

This game.. I have to be honest with you.  I was reluctant to put this game on the list.  I have never played it.  Well, I’ve tried it, by which I mean, I took over for a friend who had to use the bathroom.  But I’ve seen it played, probably all the way through, and just because I haven’t had the opportunity to get ensconced by something that defined several genres of video games, and spawned about a million sequels/movies/anime shows/etc.. who’s to say you won’t like it?  I found a copy of this at a flea market for $4.  Game, case, manual, lock, stock, and barrel.  Not a bad deal, and I plan on playing it soon enough.  Give it a try!  Fifteen million fan geeks can’t all be wrong.

#9.  StarLancer (DC)

I know everyone expected at least 1 Dreamcast game to be on here.  I’m pretty partial to this system, but I keep my bias under control pretty well.  This is one of those games you play when you have time to kill.  Yeah, there’s a plot, no one knows what it is though.  Yeah, the controls are a little weird and hard to get used to, but you don’t have to work today, so you have time to get used to them.  There are multiple unfair things about the game, and they’re all stacked against you, but it’s okay.  As long as you stay warm today, you win.  So grab some hot cocoa, and get to playing this game.  I guarantee you it does not disappoint as a gigantic time waster, and will keep you busy as well as it will not frustrate you to death.

#8.  BattleTanx Global Assault (PS1)

 

I’m going to be honest with you on this one too..  The only reason why it’s on my list is because I found it on eBay, and I paid $8.94 for it with shipping and everything.  I forgot how awesome of a game this is.  The replay value of it is ridiculous, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve beaten this game, only to come back to it an hour later and start all over again.  It’s perfect for a day when you have nothing to do, no work, no school, just you and a blanket on the couch.  That’s all you need.  Maybe some coffee, because more than once this game has kept me up all night.  They have another version on the N64, and they’re about the same, I think it’s a little cheaper if you want to find a PS1 disc though.  I’d be willing to wager you can get a PS1 system, controllers, and this game for less than you can just the game on N64.  Either way you want to go though.

#7.  Batman Forever (Genesis)

 

Those of you out there who know me personally, know that I am one of the biggest batman nerds there are.  And back when this game was new, I remember having it on the Sega Genesis, as well as the Sega Game Gear.  I never got past the first level because it is such a horrible game.  But if you’re used to playing puzzle games, this would be right up your alley.  The controls are cryptic, the doorways/entryways that take you from screen to screen are unnecessarily hidden in random places, and I’m pretty sure the programmers were drunk when they wrote the code for it.  Because a lot of the stuff that needs to be done by the player would fit perfectly into the programmers saying something like:  “How much would they freak out if we have them do [insert random game play here]?”.  It really is crazy, but it makes sense.  They followed up a pretty terrible Batman movie with a pretty terrible Batman video game.  I’m sure though, as long as you’re shrugging off anything work related, or school related, this is one of the best games for you to plug in and play.  Actually, I’d say it’s the 7th best, haha.

#6.  ZOOP!  (Genesis)

 

Yeah, this is old school.  This is one of those games that boggles the mind, challenges the wit, and makes you solve puzzles.  I recommend playing it on those Christmas break days we’ve been talking about.  I can’t even really accurately describe it.  You’re a thing that has to move other things a certain way in order to collect other things in a row?  I don’t know.  Here’s a video…

The title is the truth.  ZOOP! is a quirky little puzzle game.  It is easy to play, difficult to master, and a lot of fun regardless.  If you find one cheap (I got my copy for one dollar) it’s worth picking up.  Not a classic, but a good retro game to check out.

#5.  Frogger 2: Swampy’s Revenge (DC)

 

In my opinion, this is one of the best games ever to be released on the Dreamcast.  It is an awesomely modern twist on a simple, classic video game that we all know and love.  It was on a newer console, so of course you could save your progress.  That was a God-send.  If you’re familiar with Frogger, that’s what this game is.  Except all the things you wish about Frogger, happened.  It’s 3D, there are more obstacles, there are longer levels, more complex mazes, and the whole she-bang.  If you have a Dreamcast and don’t yet have this game, head on over to dcisozone.com and download/burn it.  It is well worth the 4 minute download time, and 15 second burning time.  Great overall game that would have scored higher if it weren’t for…

#4.  Assassin’s Creed: Altair’s Chronicles.  (Nintendo DS)

This game is awesome.  Especially if you’re a fan of the Assassin’s Creed franchise on XBox 360.  I didn’t really like the thought of this game being on a portable console, but once you sit down and play it, you love it.  It’s perfect for staying in bed, pulling the blanket up over your head, and just going to town on some vids.  Game Stop has been selling used copies of this game for $14.99 but I have seen them cheaper.  I think they’re like $7 if you don’t need a case for it.  Check it out, it gives great use of the stylus (which takes a little time to get used to, but overall is decent), the controls are fluid, and everything is easy to grasp.  I highly recommend this game to anyone, snow day or not.

#3.  Super Mario Bros.  (Wii)

 

I’m trying to put newer games on these lists, for the younger crowd.  But there are just some games that are great.  This one for instance, is like Frogger 2, it’s an awesomely modern twist on a simple and classic game that we all know and love.  That’s really all it boils down to .  People who never played any of the NES Marios love this game, because of the easy and fluid controls.  The hard core gamers love it because it’s what we wish we had way back in the day.  It’s elegant, it’s simple, it’s beautiful.  Go pick it up if you haven’t already!

#2.  Dead Rising.  (XBox 360)

 

This game missed being number 1 this week by an inch.  I love this game, and it’s even arguably better than the second one.  I don’t know for sure, as I don’t have the second one yet.  But of all the people I’ve talked to who also play this game, no one has anything bad to say about it.  It’s great for snow days, or for when you finally get that day off and want to take out your frustration on some zombies.  It’s great to play anytime.  It’s great to play overall.  It’s almost as great to play as…

The Winner, and #1 this week.  Arkham Asylum.  (PS3)

 

Oh.  My.  Gah!  I love this game, and everyone should have a copy of it.  It’s the best thing to happen to Batman fans since Christopher Nolan took over directing the Batman movies from Joel Shumacher.  People complain about the controls, and how depressing some of the music is, and how it doesn’t make any sense.  And to those people, I say.. Fooey!  Go play this game, go play it, go play it now.  The controls couldn’t be easier to understand… of course they get harder as you go along because you gain different abilities and you have to time some of them just right.  And the music is depressing & dark?  It’s BATMAN!  The music is ALWAYS depressing and dark.  I’ve also been told that this game coincides more with the comic books than it does the movies.  With all due respect on that note, it’s even more true to the Batman name than the movies are.  After all, he did first show up in comic books.  So everyone needs to get their story straight before they go bashing a game because they’re not a Batman fan.  This is an awesome game, and I’m here to tell everyone.  Go play it on your next snow day, day off, or right now.  It’s worth the money, and worth the time you put into it.

See you next week…

The Jester. 

*All images are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  Pictures obtained through Google Image Search.*

Nerdy Monday13: Bubble Bobble, anyone?

Let’s talk about some Bubble Bobble.  Remember that game?  It was first released in 1986 on the NES.  It then was ported to many different home PCs as well as other gaming systems.

There are 100 levels in this game.  BEFORE you get to the final boss. It was a great game.  I used to play this with my mom (before my little brother was born) and we could never ever beat it!  It’s been about 20 years since I’ve last played this game, but I got it, I played it, and I beat it.  A special thank you goes out to my girlfriend for being my Player 2.  Let me tell you, we spent an entire day playing this game on and off.  And about 1/3rd of that time was spent on the boss level.

Before I even begin to get into the boss level, let me give you a rundown of the game.  Even if you’re a pretty hardcore retro gamer like myself, don’t even think about playing this game by yourself.  If you need to, call me, and I’ll come play this game with you.  It’s pretty tricky, and after going through all 100 of the levels, I realize why my mom & I never beat it when I was a kid.

You play as either “Bub” or “Bob”, as their names are given.  I can’t tell which is which, your guess is as good as mine.  And I don’t have the original instruction manual, because I wasn’t about to pay $30 extra dollars for it when the actual game cartridge itself was only $10 (another special thanks goes out to Ben at the Tri-Cities Flea Market).  You wouldn’t be able to guess the plot, not that it matters anyways.  But the plot of the game is that Bub & Bob go looking for their girlfriends who have been captured by monsters.  If you read the intro screen after you pick how many players you want it says:  “Now is the beginning of a fantastic story!  Let us make a journey to the cave of monsters!  Good luck!”

I hope you watched a little bit of that video.  And I hope you heard that music in the background.  It’s lighthearted, nostalgic, and a little kiddy/childish, or whatever you want to call it.  It also doesn’t stop for 100 levels.  That’s right, the music only changes when you get to the boss level.  So not only do you have to worry about your 3 lives being depleted in one level, you have to worry about whether or not you’re going to pull out chunks of your hair due to the monotonous looped music.  I almost did.  But the good thing about it is that the game gets pretty challenging early on, so you’re not really paying attention to the music.  You’re more worried about the enemies…

If you’re looking for a site that will give you all the information you need to know about this game, you won’t find it here.  But you WILL find it here.  That website told me that “Stoner” (pictured above) is in 96/100 levels.  So you’re going to be seeing that little bugger roughly 96% of the time.  Or something like that, I’m not a mathemagician.  All of the enemies do pretty much the same thing, the patterns the jump/run/fly around in differ slightly, but killing one isn’t any harder than killing another.  The only ones that you can’t kill are the “Baron Von Blubba’s”.  You see they only show up when you take too much time to beat a level.  If you’re playing 2 players, one shows up for each of you, and they chase you until you either beat the level, or you die.  Somehow your time resets if you die, whatever.

Overall, if you’re looking for a simple, almost mindless game to play, this is the game you’re looking for.  The skill required to play it is minimal at best, and everything seems to happen differently in any given scenario.  My girlfriend noticed it and said something like: “I think I’ve figured it out!  If you jump straight down onto one of the bad guys, and shoot a bubble as soon as you land on them, you kill them, and don’t die.”  I tried it about 45 times, and died every time, maybe the game is actually self aware and likes certain players over others.

The boss level.  If you added up the total actual game play time, I bet you my g-friend and I spend a good solid hour and a half battling this boss.  Then again, we didn’t look on youtube or read online anything before playing.  We just jumped in and tried to handle it.  It took us a while, but we had fun.  That being said, here’s a video of a guy named “DarkEvil87″ that beat the boss level by himself in less than a minute and a half.  And judging from his score, he played the entire game on his original 3 lives.  Good job man!

That’s really all I have to say about this game.  Pick it up, and try it.  It’s definitely not going to be the worst game you’ll ever play.  And if you’re into those problem solving/puzzle games, you might find some cryptic stuff that works, that I wasn’t able to find.  Who knows?

[Also, if you're wanting to find out about the boss level, and have your own copy of this game, the code to get there is "GEJJJ".  That should let you bypass all 100 levels and find out how ridiculously hard that level is first hand.]

It’s also worth mentioning that there was a sequel to this game.  They go for around $150 on eBay now, because they’re pretty rare.  I mean, the first one was rare, and it took them 4 years after releasing it in Japan to bring it over to the States.  I’ve never played Bubble Bobble 2, and have had my eye on it for a while, I just haven’t forced myself to spend that much money on a 20 year old game.  I hope it is everything the legends say it is, and I hope to have my own copy (not an emulator) soon.  We’ll see.

That’s it for this week.

The Jester.

*All pictures and videos are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  Pictures obtained through Google Image Search.  Videos obtained through youtube.com.*