Top 10 Tuesdays 12: Vids to play instead of watching Twilight

This is my first official fan suggested Top 10 Tuesday!  Thank you goes out to Ashleigh  from Ft. Lauderdale.  I know right!  It’s awesome to think that the only girl on the face of the planet that doesn’t like that God-awful saga, is a “humongus [sic] fan of [my] site :):):):):)!!!”  Very awesome to know.  Work on your spelling and grammar, and calm down a little bit on the emoticons a tad bit, Ashleigh, and I might let you come back more often.

Down to business!  As Ashleigh and I can attest, there’s not too many situations worse than watching any of the Twilight movies.  Well there are, let me see if I can think of some…

Being forced to watch one of those movies.  The bubonic plague was pretty bad, I’m pretty sure watching Twilight is worse than that though.  Having a friend who is all over everything about Twilight.. you just know those kids are going to grow up wrong, in some way/shape/form.  Seriously.. teams?!  There are flocks of girls that chose sides of the movie.  They want to be Bella, and they either want to hook up with a vampire or a werewolf.  Hmm, necrophilia or beastiality.. which one should I pick?  Get outta here with that!  NOT ON MY BLOG!  NOT TODAY PEOPLE!

That brings us to…

The Top 10 Video Games to Play Instead of watching Twilight

I don’t even know why I’m making a “top 10” about this.  I should just say.. All of them.  Every video game ever created, thought of, or fan-made.  Playing any video game is better than suffering through any of those 2 hour (+/-) let-downs.  BUT.  Since this is Top 10 Tuesday, here we go…

#10.  Top Gun  (NES)

Ah yes, this old jewel.  The horrible game based off of a pretty bad movie.  Who else saw this movie and thought that the only good part of it was the very last scene, right before Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer looked like they were about to make out?  And in this game… try landing your plane on that air craft carrier.  You almost have to be a pilot in real life to get that right.  Horrible game.  Better than Twilight.

#9.  Shaq-Fu  (SNES/Genesis)

How do you capitalize on a mediocre basketball franchise name?  With a disappointing game kids will yell and scream for, and then after they get home, they will yell and scream because of the terribleness they just experienced.  This game is so terrible, there was actually a website dedicated to finding and destroying every copy of this game in existence.  Terrible game.  Still better than watching Twilight.

#8.  ANY game released on the Nintendo Virtual Boy  (VB)

It’s hanging it’s head in shame. It knows how bad it is.

This system is the epitome of a flop in the video game world.  It was so bad, it was discontinued (AKA killed) in less than a year after it’s release.  The entire library of video games can be held in one hand.  I think there are only 11 or 12 games total, and they’re about the size of original game boy games.  Almost without exception, there is NO virtual reality involved with any of the games.  The name of the system is Virtual Boy.  And there’s no virtual reality.  Here is a picture of me after that sinks in:

My mind was blown. Is what I'm saying.

Crap-tastic.  Even so! Better than Twilight.

#7.  Rambo  (NES)

You know that feeling you get when you pick your nose, and you slowly pull out that one big juicy booger that’s hooked into your fingernail?  You know what I’m talking about… the one booger that’s really long and feels like it’s suction-cupped to the base of your brain?  This game is a playable version of that feeling.  It makes you cringe, your eyes water, and the only way to describe it is just… agony.  Unnecessary agony.  Kind of like Twilight.  Except it’s a lot better than Twilight.

#6.  Little Red Hood  (NES)

I can’t even begin to explain how unfortunate and appalling this game is.  Let me let a professional explain this one.

http://screwattack.com/videos/AVGN-Little-Red-Hood

That video is definitely worth a watch or three.  Check out how atrocious it is (*whispers* still better than Twilight).

#5.  Seaman  (Dreamcast)

What is going on here?  Piss-poor, NEXT!  Twilight is actually starting to look pretty good.  Wait, what did I just say?  Maybe this list is getting too long.  Ugh, let’s see what else is scraping the bottom of the crap bucket.

#4, #3, #2, #1, and the WINNER!  Everything on the Atari Jaguar.

In my opinion, this system is worse than the virtual boy.  In fact, I’d take the eye strain and potential seizures the virtual boy induces over the masterpiece of God-awfulness this thing puts on the screen.  I’ve actually wanted to own one of these systems just for novelty-sake, and I can’t bring myself to spend around $120 on a system that was only on the market for a day and a half, or whatever.  It was released and the entire program was shut down in half as much time as the virtual boy.  Every game on here is rotten to the core.  They’re hideous beyond belief.  They are obnoxious, dreadful, abhorrent abominations that need to be burned, buried, pee’d on, and forgotten.  With that being said, I will STILL take 2 hours of Cybermorph over sitting through an entire loathesome installment of the Twilight saga.

Whew, that was a lot.  But, it needed to be said.  I’m glad I was the one to say it.

The Jester.

[Please send all hate mail or bashing of my post to delorganization@gmail.com.  I will promptly ignore it.  Good day.]

*All images are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google Image Search.  Also, thank you to James Rolfe/the AVGN/cinemassacre.com for the great content.*

Nerdy Monday 18: Is that John Stamos?

 

That’s right.  The man himself, John Phillip Stamos.  Of the Greek Stamatopoulos’.  Known and adored by millions as the protagonist of the popular ’90′s sitcom Full House, Uncle Jesse.  That’s the first time I think my generation was exposed to Mr. Stamos.  Eventhough he got his first big break as Blackie Parrish on General Hospital in 1982.  About a decade before he looked like this:

Pound for pound, his hair is more awesome than you.

That caption is totally true.  He’s also the only man alive or dead, in the entire universe, past-present-and-future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions that successfully rocked a mullet.  No, it didn’t look good on you, nor your mom, let it go.

What I liked about his role as Jesse during the run of Full House was how much character development he progressed through.  Early on in the show, he was the motorcycle riding, leather jacket wearing, bad boy.  Everyone loved him for who he was!  And as the show went on, he fell in love with Rebecca Donaldson, sewed his wild oats, had some kids, settled down, and became an even more lovable character.  He slowly transformed from the Elvis loving delinquent that kids pretended to be, into the Elvis loving adoring uncle/successful musician that kids a little older wanted to grow up to be.  He was always my favorite character on that show.  But that’s enough about that, I don’t think I have to mention Full House when I bring up John Stamos, because his talent, coolness, versatility, and awesomability (yeah, I have to make up variations of that word to describe his Stamosness) reaches farther than I think you can even imagine.

For instance, I have been thinking about writing something about Mr. Stamos for a few weeks now and just today I started following him on twitter.  The most recent tweet I read from his profile was:

“RT @bobsaget Time to get my shit together today/gonna make a statue of @JohnStamos with it.- good, maybe HE’LL listen to your crap!”

What?  Uncle Jesse would never say something like that.  But Stamos can get away with it, he’s just that… whatever “that” is, he’s it.

After Full House was cancelled…

Fun Fact: did you know that during the first season of Full House, Stamos’ character was credited as being named Jesse Cochran?  During the second season, he changed his last name to Katsopolis to “highlight his Greek heritage”.

…Stamos made a bunch of made for TV movies, a couple of stage productions, a few flopped TV series’, and some commercials.  He made a short film entitled simply: “I am Stamos”.  I have not seen it, oh but I so want to!  I have no idea why he didn’t capitalize on his awesomeness right after the Full House chapter of his life came to a close.

Think about where you’ve heard his name, and what you heard it for lately.  Can’t remember?  Let me help you:

• He’s getting ready to be honored by the “Project Cuddle” people.
• The Michigan extortion case he was involved with.
• He was one of the first people to board the new Disney Dream Cruise line thing.  Whatever that was all about.
• Glee.
• He roasted Bob Saget.
• He toured with the Beach Boys.
• Recorded with Billy Joel.
• I’m pretty sure he had something to do with the “Stamos” in “Rebecca Romijn-Stamos”.
• 2007 TV Land Award for “Favorite Elvis Impersonation” from Full House.

Aside from I am Stamos, I could only find 2 cameo appearances in his filmogrophy.  It should be more like 400, in my opinion.  I wish I could find more cameos, but I did find:

• A Daytime Emmy nomination [for his breakout role].
• A shared Emmy nomination for the Beach Boys miniseries.
• 2 Golden Icon awards.
• A Soapy award.
• The above mentioned TV Land award, and a nomination for another one.
• 2 Young Artist Award nominations
• A Young Artist Award

This man has been the epitome of “cool” since the 1990′s, won awards, married models, and lived a very Full Life.  That should be the name of his next show.. as long as I get a credit for that.  He was a heart throb for women of all ages there for a while, and probably still is for some cougars out there.  Have you seen him lately?

Your mom would get with him, if she had the chance.

Mr. Stamos has kept a very clean reputation, played the bad boy, divorced a Victoria’s Secret model, and been the envy of boys and girls, men and women everywhere.  John, you’ve become a pop culture icon, and a staple to a lot of peoples childhood.  I hope to see more of you in the future.

“Is that John Stamos?  Did Nick know John Stamos?  Were they brothers?” ~Nick Swardson.

The Jester.

The Tri-Cities Flea Market

This week, I ventured into what I can only describe as the Mall of America, of flea markets.  At least for around here.  That’s right, I talk about it all the time, I tell you I get all of my old games from there, and now I’m back here talking about it… with some pictures.

I want people to understand this, I am going to make this article as funny as I can, but I am not being condescending at all.  I frequent this place, and I know a lot of people out there look down on flea markets, or think of them as “dirty” or, whatever else they think.  I could really care less about what they think.  I have a friend that has a collection of video games pretty similar to mine, except he spent about 5 times as much on his because he travels all over the place, he buys online, and he buys one game at a time.  And the flea market isn’t just about video games, there are tons of other thing you can get a little cheaper too.

For example:

Need some keys? No problem here. (Sorry for the blurry picture)

Lost your favorite wig? We got your back.

This next picture, I have to explain for those of you who aren’t yokels.  All Fired Up is a store where you can buy any kind of hot sauce that’s out there.  They have a huge selection and are even in some local malls.  I don’t know exactly how big the chain is, but a lot of local shops and things get started at the flea market, and save money up until they can expand.

But hot sauce and sunglasses in one place, at last?  Finally, you can put that Dave’s Insanity Sauce on your pringles, and no one will be able to tell you’re crying.

This sign is on every single door to all of the 10 or 11 indoor buildings (there are also about 6 “outdoor” buildings).  But that doesn’t stop vendors from renting a space and moving in a little business solely dedicated to catering to your pet.  There are shops in there that sell customized dog collars and ID tags, sweaters and leg-warmers (I’m guessing), another little stall even sells life preservers for your pets, both dogs AND cats.  I know, I found it a little odd that there’s a market for life preservers for cats, too.  And for the dogs out there that are spoiled rotten:

My dog: "Whaddaya got there?" Your dog: "Milkbones." My dog: "Pfffft, hahaha, loser!"

This place seriously is like a mall.  Look at the aisles down each building, they look pretty much like this…

Go on deadmalls.com and this is actually a step up.

Some of the stalls, you can really tell people put a lot of time and effort into making them really nice.

Mall or flea market? Who can tell?

Some stalls even offer a larger variety of products than malls do!

All in one place? For realz?!

And the amenities this place offers is awesome.  A lot of “flea markets” up North, or in different parts of the country don’t have indoor restrooms.  They might not even have indoor buildings.  Just a bunch of people standing outside at pic-nic tables, well…

...we got that too.

But there are also…

Indoor plumbin', y'all!

And seriously, what do you do when you’re at a flea market and have no cash?  You either go to one of the FOUR (that I counted) cash for gold places, or hit up one of these:

I counted 6 of these in the buildings I went into today, and I wasn’t even really paying attention to how many there were.  There could be more, just in case you need a little more cash to get what you had your eye on.  Check out just some of the things I came across.

Movie posters? Got'em.

Women's Fashion Boutiques? Got'em.

Check.

Golf clubs? We might have a few.

WHAAAAAAT?!

High quality, hand crafted cedar furniture? Done and done.

I heard washer/dryer combos are on sale this month.

Kids section? We're workin on it.

And this isn’t your grandma’s yard sale either.  This is a legitimate business that people from all over the Tri-Cities come to.  They bring their friends here when they come in town.  I know I do it.  There are a lot of things I didn’t take pictures of, as well.  One stall boasted “100% soy wax candles”.  I have no idea what the difference between soy wax and regular wax is.  My best guess is that regular candles taste like bacon, and soy candles are vegetarian friendly.

And what mall flea market would be complete without…

Tourists use this thing.... a LOT.

Another similarity between this flea market and an average mall is…

You bet your ass, we got one.

That’s right.  There is a food court.  And it’s a far sight better than the food court I was used to growing up in Northern Virginia.  There are ladies there that make homemade fudge, a lot of people are using their granny’s recipes, and honestly.. how many other places do you know of besides state/county fairs where you can find deep fried Oreos/Twinkies/pickles/cheesecake/butterfingers/snickers-ON-A-STICK!?  Better hit that ATM up again, and call the boss, it’s going to be one very long lunch hour.

Bread me up something and throw it in the oil!

A Mexican place, their stuffed potatoes will keep you going for a while.

Security is a big issue here.  A lot of the vendors have day-jobs and come here on the weekend to earn a little extra cash.  They don’t want you stealing their stuff, is what I’m saying.  They take their paycheck and invest in the inventory they sell.  They don’t have time to watch you and your stupid friends walk off with their things.  And I mean come on, it’s a flea market.  How much could the thing in your hand cost?  Haggle with them, or something, but don’t steal.  Not cool.  All this behavior warrants signs like these:

They are not joking.

Yup.

This guy sells stereos and wasn't there that day. He locks up tighter than a drum.

Don’t get me wrong, a lot of the people there have their own specialty shops where they just sell Mary Kay, or just sell Avon, or just sell “knives” (that’s how they advertise them, with the quotation marks and all), or just video games (more on that in a minute).  But there are some stalls there where the people that rent them out just bring… stuff.  Not anything in particular, just stuff.

Pictured: Stuff.

Pictured: More stuff.

Look up there, stuff on a shelf! You can buy it, take it home, and put it on your shelf!

It’s crazy, and sometimes if you don’t feel all high and mighty, or like it’s beneath you or anything, you actually can have a pretty good time rooting around through all of that stuff.  The people that own it don’t even know what they have.  And I’ll tell you what, I’ve known people that have found some good (not super expensive, but not costume) jewelry out of the bottom of a “stuff” box.  I’ve found old original game boy games in their original boxes in “stuff” boxes, and they asked a quarter each for them.  One time, I was at a place like this flea market and I found a sterling silver ring that was a dolphin, and it was circular, as most rings tend to be, and the nose touched the tail of it which made it a loop.  My mom was so pissed when I didn’t give that ring to her, and instead gave it to my cousin.  What the hell did I know about rings, I was 8.

I PROMISE you this picture was taken at the same flea market on the same day. Yes, you can get calves, goats, and roosters there too. We ARE in the south.

***

Okay, I definitely saved the best (or at least my favorite part) for last.

 

It's go time, baby!

Fellow nerds, and nerdettes, the guy behind the counter is Ben.  He is one of the nicest guys you’ll meet.  He is my “hidden source” for all of my video game needs.  Most of the reviews I do about older video games.. are all thanks to him.  On average I probably buy from him twice a month.  At the very least, once a month, and a few months have gone by where I’ve bought games from him every weekend.  His inventory is massive, his prices are very reasonable, and I could have fun in his little corner of the market for hours.  He sells comic books, action figures, and other things that are strong pheromones to nerds.  While I was there the day this article was written, I flipped through the pages of a “Howard the Duck” comic book.  Remember that movie?  Yeah, he’s got a ton of stuff, and I’m sure he’s got a ton more to bring in if he were to flip all of his inventory tomorrow.  Let’s take a look…

 

There's a "Vader" 2600 up top I didn't notice until I loaded this pic up at home. Oh, and some games.

...A few more.

And just a couple more for the avid NES/SNES fans out there.

...And for the XBox fans.

Then a few GameCube games for the kiddies.

PS2, anyone?

Yet more NES games, and the case on top is full of DC, Saturn, Sega CD, and other disc only games.

N64, for sure.

He keeps a few of the better games behind the counter.

And I know what you’re saying.  “But Jester, I love all of those old games, but I don’t have the system for it!”

 

Ben's got you, dude.

He's totally got you.

His collection just keeps on going!

I didn’t take pictures of nearly everything he has.  And keep in mind this is just one section of one building of the entire flea market.  Fun to go to, fun to look around, and fun to haggle.  Fun all around.  If you run into Ben, tell him “that guy who writes the blog” sent you.  He’ll know what it means.

Okay, I showed you the stuff, the food, the luxuries, the everything else.  Except the sign.

 

There.

I showed you everything now.  Hit it up, or don’t, more stuff for me.  It is fun though.

See you there!

The Jester.

*All images are property of me, The Jester.  I didn’t copyright them, and give everyone permission to use them.  Just give me a credit for it, please.*

Nerdy Monday 16: The Sitcom Wisemen.

There’s a formula to the cast of any given sitcom.  There has to be a star who is somehow naive.  It’s up to the supporting cast to guide and direct him/her on their journey.  In the supporting cast, there has to be a wealthy person, a best friend, a girlfriend who post often proves to be the voice of reason, and of course there has to be a wise man, or a mentor.  I’ve picked 3 of my favorite wise men, and dons some research on them.  This is my tribute to the sitcom wise men!

Wilson, from Home Improvement.

In the world of the sitcom wise men, Wilson was in a class all his own.  He was in the popular show based on Tim Allen’s stand up comedy that ran all the way through the 1990′s.  Literally, the show ran from 1991 to 1999.  And I’m pretty sure Wilson was in every episode at least once.  Wilson, or known by his full name:  Wilson Wilson, Jr. played the extremely intelligent best friend and next door neighbor to Tim “The Tool Man” Taylor.  And whenever Tim follied up in his every day life, he ended up chatting across that infamous fence with Wilson.  Time after time, Wilson had the best possible answer for Tim.  One of the running gags in the show (if you remember) is that Tim would take that advice that Wilson gave him (that was usually most noted by Wilson’s historical points, or famous philosophical works made to drive the point home) and he would turn around and try to tell them to his wife in the show, or his audience on Tool Time.  Every single time, he would misquote Wilson, or the name of the person who made the famous work, or the historical event.  He would mispronounce Wilson’s long words, on a few occasions, and those were my favorite ones.

If you isolate the persona of Wilson, and look back on the show, that was the 1990′s way of trying to give your children (namely my generation) a moral compass.  Exactly the same way The Animaniacs were allowed on the WB Network because of the last 40 second segment entitled “The Wheel of Morality”.  You can’t blame them.  They were the ’90′s, they always had some awkward way of trying to teach kids the right thing to do.

Wilson, we thank you for all that you gave to us (and our kids) growing up, and wish you were still around to impart your wisdom.

And here’s what he looks like in real life:

He was also the creepy old guy in the horror-cult-classic Pet Sematary.

Dr. Cox, from Scrubs.

What can I say about this guy?  Dr. Percival Cox, M.D. has been a mentor to me since I started watching the show Scrubs in its 3rd season.  I’ve been a closet fan of John C. McGinly (the actor who plays Dr. Cox) for a long time.  He’s one of those guys who has been in every movie ever made.  Some of you may remember him from Platoon, or Wall Street. The younger kids probably first saw him as “one of the Bob’s” in Office Space. Any ways you slice it, he is awesome.  He is the epitome of awesome.  Back during my last few years of college, my friends and I would party on Friday & Saturday nights while watching DVDs of this show.  Each one of us had a character that we most related our personalities to.  I got elected Dr. Cox.  One of my friends was the Janitor, our friend “Turk” automatically was Turk.  And the list went on.

When word of that little game got around campus a little bit, some people looked down on me because I was “A Dr. Cox”.  I didn’t care though, I took it as a huge compliment, he is the smartest person on the show.  I mean, who else could give out little nuggets of wisdom like these?  Haha, I love it.  And if anyone disagrees with me, I think this video clip of Dr. Cox’ top 5 rants will change your mind about him.

Also, another thing about Dr. Cox is how he delivers his wisdom.  He runs the entire gambit of wisdom-giving.  He can be hateful and sarcastic, he can be downright arrogant and a little rude.  He can be completely angry, and he can also be nice, gentle, kind, and sincere.  If you’ve ever watched the show, you know what I’m talking about and you can see the compassion in his eyes when he’s talking about something he truly cares about.  He has taught me to refrain from “biting” someone (figuratively, of course) when a simple “growl” will suffice.  And I guarantee you will learn a lot and have a few very good laughs if you scroll through that Coxism website I linked to up there.  Thank you Perry Cox for coming onto the scene and being a supporting cast member that steals the show!

Last, but certainly not least, Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World.

George Hamilton Feeny.  Who doesn’t remember this character?  The way I think about this role, played by veteran actor William Daniels, is that it progressed throughout the entire series to envelope relationships with all of the other characters.  There wouldn’t have been a Boy Meets World, at least as we know it, had this character not been involved.  Think about this seriously, for a minute!  He started out in the series as Cory & Shawn’s (or “Sean’s”, whatever) 6th grade teacher.  Fast forward to the end of the series, and he helped out every single character through various troubling and sometimes even tragic circumstances.  I would go so far as to say he was the sole person to advance everyone elses character to the next phase of life.  He helped Shawn out when his mom ran off and his dad went to look for her.  He helped Cory out pretty much every episode.  He was a “Wilson” to the Matthews’ (the parents), and was basically a foundation for the older brother Eric.  In so many ways he helped character development, while doling out good advice and being a moral compass, simultaneously.   And he did it all without being maniacal, egocentric, aggressive, or manipulative.  And rarely did he ever raise his voice.  He was a true role model that kids my age were lucky enough to aspire to.  Thank you George Feeny for everything!

Check out this video that is very memorable to me, and was probably one of the more funny Feeny moments:

That’s my rundown for Nerdy Monday this week.  See you by the T.V.

The Jester.

*All images and videos are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google Image Search.  All videos obtained through Youtube.*

What You REALLY Learn While Going to School in Southwest Virginia.

When I first went to college, I attended the prestigious Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois.  They gave me the most money right out of high-school, so that’s where my parents ended up sending me.  Through a few different circumstances and everything else, I wanted to finish up closer to home, so I transferred to a school in Southwest Virginia.  It was a bit of a culture shock to me, and I realized that on top of getting a very good book-smart education, I learned a few things that helped keep me street-savvy as well.  Shocking, I know, but here they are, in no particular order:

• In Intramural soccer, always team up with the foreign exchange students.
• Don’t complain about how far you have to walk.  Your class could be on the side of a mountain.
• Two inches of snow, even in the mountains, will shut the whole campus down.
• Running low on cash?  Go to different campus events for free food.
• In what is a very conservative area in a mostly Republican state, you will meet more gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and trans-gendered people here, than anywhere you’ve ever been.
• Even on Friday & Saturday nights, pizza deliveries stop at 9:00 p.m.
• Beer (in some counties) isn’t sold on Sundays.
• Professors get to know you as a person.  They then take that, whether good or bad, and translate it to their grade book.
• Facebook is more reliable than the school newspaper.
• German people are crazy smart.
• Fraternities/Sororities don’t have their own houses.
• This is a pretty universal truth — freshmen are cocky, beligerant, and overall arrogant with something to prove.  Down here that’s the same, except they have an accent.
• Most of the time, you don’t even need an appointment to talk to the Dean.
• Older people go grocery shopping between 6 and 8 in the morning.
• Whatever city or town the college is in, shuts down during the off-season.
• The weekend parties consist of trips to Wal-Mart, or whoever is in your dorm room that night.
• Everyone smokes cigarettes.
• People from Virginia Beach throw away their furniture at the end of the semester.
• Any test can be made up later.
• There are more theatre majors per capita than students.
• Youtube is a perfectly acceptable source for any project.
• The same thing goes for the show “Mythbusters”.
• You’re probably going to be in a smaller town than you’re used to.  So it’s not what you know, but who you know.
• Grocery stores sell crawfish AND pickles.  Sometimes in the same container.
• Most of our public restrooms are cleaner than anywhere in the country.  Because no one uses them.
• Libraries generally have much, much older books.  Some 100 years old or more.
• Most of the menu at mostly any seafood restaurant offers everything deep fried.
• Homeless people prey on and will harass the college kids for money.  Some are violent, so be careful.
• There will only be one liquor store near your campus and underage kids will wait outside looking for someone to buy for them.
• Make a lot of friends early on, because going to college down here is kind of like high school.  You’re going to see everyone, every day.
• If you start talking to someone, about someone else — I guarantee that person will show up half way through the conversation.
• No one is willing to drive in any amount of snow.  Even the people with the really big trucks.
• People down here have different talents than anywhere else in the country, possibly even the world.
• People from up north think people from down here are less intelligent because of the way we talk.  People from down here know this, and are nice to the Northerners anyways.  That’s just how we are.
• Most people you will meet, don’t have a shed.  They have a barn.
• Traffic is slow?  We’re not in a hurry to get anywhere, we’re enjoying the ride.  Try it sometime.
• You have something you don’t know how to cook?  Either boil it, grill it, or fry it… it’ll all turn out good.
• Foosball is a waste of time.
• You may have seen “goth” or “emo” kids in your high school, but that’s the last you’ll ever see of them in these parts.

There is so much more I could put in this article.  But I think this is sufficient for now.  Maybe I’ll add more to the list later.  All of this stuff I seriously came up with in about 10 minutes while I was at work.  So I’m sure if I planned some stuff out, I could have a list 4 or 5 times as long.  Either way, I have about 3 more articles to write up today, so I’ll see you then!

The Jester.

Top 10 Tuesdays 6: Vids to play on your honeymoon.

In hopes of getting through all this winter-y nastiness, I figure I’m going to start looking forward to Spring.  Spring is a wonderful time of the year, and I’d be willing to put money on the fact that there are more weddings in Spring than there are in any other season.  It’s the time of rebirth, rejuvenation, Spring Fever, and starting anew.

If you’re a hardcore gamer, you play games in any given circumstance.  And I mean, on your honeymoon is no exception.  You are going to have some down time in between all the consummating, believe it or not.  Hardcore gamers are more loyal to their video games than mailmen are to the mail.  Nor rain, nor sleet, nor nuptials are going to keep you from playing.  Nor power outages, nor earthquakes, nor slow internet connectivity either.  None of that will stop a true gamer, we’re like electronic Boy Scouts.. we’re always prepared.

It’s a sad but true fact that there are a lot of video gamers out there that rush through work, skip social events, even flake out on funerals [which is astonishingly disrespectful by the way] when they’re in the middle of something on their favorite game.  With that being said, let’s jump right into it, and talk about the…

Top 6 Video Games to Play on Your Honeymoon!

I know what you’re thinking… and yes, this is the first top 10 I’ve done that doesn’t go up to 10.  But if you remember my first Top 10, I said specifically that sometimes I’ll go past 10, sometimes I won’t make it to 10.  So get over it and enjoy the rest of the post.

#6.  The Little Mermaid  (Game Boy/Super Game Boy (SNES))

Okay, I’m going to be honest on this one.  This isn’t only for your new bride to play while you’re in the bathroom, or running down the block to pick up food or whatever it is you’re doing leaving the hotel room.  This is actually a challenging game.  It goes to show that some graphic design companies (in this case Capcom) can take something as little kid-ish and as girly as the little mermaid and actually make a decently challenging game out of it.  I get frustrated playing it, it’s quite hard.  And to be even more honest, it’s only on this list because it’d be a good tool for you and your better half to bond over early on in your marriage. Who knows?  Later on, if she starts getting on your case about playing too much C.O.D. Black Ops, you’ll have at least a little ammunition for your side of the argument.

#5.  18 Wheeler Pro American Trucker (Dreamcast)

If you haven’t played this game, it’s pretty awesome.  The only thing about it is, I’m pretty sure it isn’t realistic at all.  It’s like the difference between Forza Motorsports and Speed Devils.  If you haven’t played those games either, go play them.  AFTER you play 18 wheeler.  I included this game on this list because you’ve just taken a leap of faith with a woman to embark on a new life together.  You need something to help you feel like a man.  Short of taking classes, changing your lifestyle, getting your CDL, and buying a truck… this is it.

#4.  Halo 2  (XBox)

I know, I know.. You’re thinking “Jester… enough with the friggin’ Halo already!”  But I’m telling you, there is never a bad time to play it!  It’s addicting, it revolutionized first person shooters back in the day.  Then Call of Duty manned-up and took the whole fps genre to a different level with their entire franchise.  This game is perfect to play with your new wife because you can either work together towards a common goal [ridding the universe of those pesky aliens] or you can battle to see who is the better soldier.  The choice is yours, just remember… while playing with a new bride, it’s important to take into account that from now on there are going to be consequences to every action you take.  Think about that for a while.

#3.  A Boy and His Blob  (NES)

I can’t report on the new remake they did of this game on the Wii, because I haven’t played it yet.  But this game came up in a conversation I had with a friend of mine about a week ago.  I started thinking about it, and while I was writing up this article, I decided to include it.  I haven’t played through this game in its entirety since I was about 8 years old, so I can’t tell you all about the plot and everything, but here’s what I remember:  You play as the boy, and you have your own blob.  You feed the blob different flavors of jellybeans, and depending on the flavor, the blob changes into a certain shape.  A ladder, or a bridge, or something.  It’s up to you to place the blob in the right place, and feed him the right flavor of jellybean.  It gets rather cryptic, and intriguing.  And if you’re playing it on your honeymoon, you wife is going to be there.  And since you have a wife now, she’s going to remember everything for you.  And since there are about 100 different flavors of jellybeans, and you’ve been married for less than a week, you can use her honed skill to your advantage.  It might be the only time in the marriage you get to do so.  Let me know how that one goes!

#2.  Rampage  (NES)

This also came out on Playstation 1, and again on the PS2, but there’s nothing like playing the original 8-bit game.  It’s a fantastic 2 player game where both of you play as monsters and you just keep traveling right, and destroying buildings.  It’s perfect for if you feel a fight coming on, or if you’ve been playing all the other games on the list, and hogging the controller.  If she actually wants to play with you, great!  If she doesn’t, then you have a whole new set of problems on your hands.

The Winner, and #1.  Battle Toads  (NES)

As we all know, this game is a thinly veiled attempt to cash in on the Ninja Turtles franchise.  This game came out not too long after the TMNTs hit the scene.  So a different company came up with a far-fetched synonym for “ninja” and a different amphibian, threw them together, and marketed them as something different.  It’s been going on since the dawn of time.  Anyways, that’s not why this is the best game to play on your honeymoon.  The reason why is because there is no versus mode, only cooperative.  It’s an arcade style button-masher with one fatal glitch… they left friendly fire turned on.  So if your new mate is talking too much and frustrates you to the point of slapping her or something (or, vice-versa for the girls out there reading this) don’t slap her in real life, that’s a horrible way to go.  Pop in this game, and go to town on her/him.  Blame it on the glitch, they’ll never know the difference.

See you at the reception,

The Jester.

 

*All images are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google Image Search.*

“We are spiritual beings, having a human experience.” ~Dina Miller

Welcome back, my loyal, local fans!  This week, I had the exclusive opportunity to talk with Dina Miller once again.  You might remember her store, Whimsical Gems & Treasures, from the very first local blog article I ever wrote.  I continue to patronize her shop and have found many trinkets and gifts for people who like having things that are not mainstream.

Speaking of not being mainstream, the reason why I interviewed Ms. Miller this time is because she’s introducing a class in her store that is something different than people around here are used to.  In an area that is predominately Christian (most denominations of such, represented) Ms. Miller’s store is going to be host to a class for people wanting to learn more about the Wiccan belief system.  I was able to interview Dina Miller as well as the young lady who is going to be heading up the class herself, Ms. Kayla Ramos.  Here’s what they had to say:

***

Del Dotson:  Okay!  I’m Del Dotson, and today I’m here with…

Dina Miller:  Dina Miller.

DD:  Who is…

DM:  The owner of Whimsical Gems & Treasures.

DD:  And also, I’m here with…

Kayla Ramos:  Kayla Ramos.  The owner of Phoenix Rose New Age.

DD:  Today I’m interviewing these ladies because Ms. Dina is incorporating a Wicca class into her store.  Which is going to be taught by Kayla.  So my first question is: Kayla, can you give me just like, a basic outline of the Wiccan religion, or the Wiccan beliefs?

KR:  Yeah.  Wicca beliefs are based on nature, they love nature.  They don’t hurt anything- true Wiccans don’t hurt anything.  They love life.  We believe in reincarnation, and all that other good stuff.

DD:  Okay.  Um, I know it sounds like I’m reiterating, but what are the core beliefs, and a few of the differences that Wicca has with Christianity?

KR:  We have one core belief and that’s “To harm none.”  And it says “and you do what you will, as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody.”  The differences between Wicca and Christianity is that Wiccans are..  Well they were the first religion, basically.  They were there thousands of years before Christianity.  And we are more of a scientific kind of religion, and we’re more individualized than Christianity.  Christianity is a big group of people who believe in one God.  Wiccans believe in two gods. Well, a goddess and a god.  That’s basically the main differences.  We’re a peaceful religion, we don’t hurt anything or anybody.  We don’t do blood rituals or anything like that.

DD:  So like, I know that probably one of the biggest misconceptions is that you guys [Wiccans] are closely related to Satanists, and things of that nature.

KR:  Hahahaha, okay.  That’s a misinterpretation in the uh, well it was a… how do you say that word?  Translation!  It was a mistranslation in the Bible, in the Olde English, the Olde Hebrew Bible.  It was “Diablo” and “Satan”, which actually means “adversary” or “opponent”.

DD:  Okay.

KR:  So… we don’t believe in the devil.  See back when the Christians came along, of course you have the good side and you have the bad side.  And when you’re trying to convert another side it causes issues and… then Wiccans get slammed, basically.

DD:  Right, hahaha.  Well, I mean.  I wanted to let you clear it up.

KR:  No, we don’t believe in a devil and… if I get into that, it’s just one big go-around, y’know?  Hahaha.

DD:  Right, and I don’t think I have enough tape for that!  The next question is: Are there any similarities that you can think of, between Wiccans and Christians?

KR:  Well, Christians, true Christians don’t hurt anybody, they try to be peaceful and Wiccans do the same.  We have our laws just like the Christians do.  We actually, probably have more laws than Christians do.  Both are supposed to be peaceful people, but sometimes that gets.. the line gets blurred.. with misunderstanding.

DD:  Right, yeah.  There can be a lot of gray area when you’re comparing two different belief systems, I can understand that.  What religion were you raised in, or how did you end up making Wicca your belief system?

KR:  I was raised Christian.  And along the lines, I started developing new beliefs, I started questioning Christianity.  And there were a lot of contradictions in the Bible that I didn’t understand.  So I found a path that was more, for me and I could understand it better.  It just.. it made more sense to me.  I was basically… spiritual(?)… through my life.  Like I was raised the Christian way, but that was kind of forced on me, so I did my own thing.  My parents agree with it, my mom is kind of in between now, she’s older so of course she’s getting scared and stuff, and believing in the Christian God a lot more.

DD:  Right.

KR:  I mean, like, it runs through both sides of my family.  I’ve got a bunch of family and they’re all into it in some way, shape, or form.  There are a lot of Christians, and there are more Wiccans then there are Christians.

DD:  So, what kind of reactions do you get from people around here?  You know.. down here we’re considered to be in “The Bible Belt.”

KR:  Well…

DD:  Like, do people say “Hey, that’s cool and different and funky”, or do they.. is it more negative than positive?

KR:  Well times have changed, a lot of things have changed in the past 5 years.  Like before if you… I was beginning at the flea market, that’s where I had my little store open, it was at Lee Roy’s flea market in Abingdon.  And like, 5 years ago you would have people completely ignoring you and shunning you and walking by you throwing things at you.  These days, I have my best customers on Sunday!  Hahahaha.

DD:  Really?  Cool.

KR:  They came in and bought me out of all of my Wicca paraphernalia!  But I mean, I finally had a few people and they were preachers and they came into my little stall in the flea market and they’d hand me pamphlets and tell me Jesus loves me.

DD:  Yeah, well, he does.

KR:  And I couldn’t help but think, well, I don’t go to churches and hand out Books of Shadows. Haha.

DD:  Okay, so.. Dina, what kind of reactions did you expect to get, or what reactions did you get when you first introduced the fact that you’re going to do this class to people?

DM:  I expected negative.  Because people are more closed-minded in this area, and my goal in this shop is not just to be a retail shop but is to open.. help open minds in the area, in a peaceful way, without scaring people away.  To let them have a better understanding of what Wicca, Buddhism, or crystal healing, spiritualism, and what all that is.

DD:  Right.

KR:  A whole medley of religions.

DM:  I had a little bit of negative feedback on facebook, when I posted it.  But I had more positive reactions..

DD:  More encouragement, than anything?

DM:  Yes.

DD:  Okay.  Cool.  This is a question for both of you:  Can you tell me just a little bit about the class in general?  Like, how is it set up, or are there going to be activities, or just anything you want to share about the class overall.

KR:  Well the class will be set up over in the Phoenix Rose section in the back of Whimsical Gems.  And the first class will be to explain Wicca beliefs.  To help open minds and help people understand what Wicca is really about.  And then I have 9 classes.. it expands over 9 classes.  It’ll be every Wednesday after February 2nd.  And those classes are more like workshops.  And I’ll be teaching a little more about how to work magic, and do the whole spell thing.  To help them [the students] understand what the tools are for, what the herbs are used for, the oils, everything.  And that’s basically what that is.  Overall, just to help people understand more.

DM:  And what I would like out of the classes is for people to kind of relate whether you call it a “spell”, whether you call it “magic”, whether you call it “intention”, or whether you call it “prayer”, it’s all.. the end result is all the same.  Whether you call it “God”, whether you call it “Goddess”, it’s all the same.  You know… there was anointing in the Bible, prayer.. and meditation.. it’s all about the end result.

KR:  There was a story I read once, it said there was a shaman lady back in, like, thousands of years ago who was teaching her people the way of shamanism and when she was done teaching them she sent them all out into the world.  They discovered different religions, different beliefs, and different ways to live.  Well they came back and asked her “Why are you teaching us this one way, when there are so many different ways to choose from?”  And she said that different religions were like a pearl necklace.  They’re all different and unique, but what’s really important is the string that ties them together.  And that makes a whole lot of sense to me.  And I wish I could find that story again, but I can’t find it anywhere.

DD:  Alright, next question:  I know you guys already mentioned this a little bit, but um.. can you tell me a little bit about the overall goals [of the class], is there just one goal for the full endeavor, or is there more than that?  I know it’s to build more understanding, but is there anything else that kind of underlies that?

DM:  Just to bring awareness that God is a loving God.  He is not a judgmental, mean force that people try to make Him out to be.

KR:  It depends on which God.

DM:  Well, God is about love, and peace.  If we knock out the judgment of others, it’d make the world a better place.

DD:  Dina, what purpose did you have in mind when you decided to incorporate this class, into your store?

DM:  Well, the same thing I just said. Not to only be…

DD:  I’m not trying to reiterate myself over and over again, I’m just trying to get everything laid out.  Haha.

DM:  Right.  I wanted to have a fun retail shop that could help the community, be a fun place to shop.. a “feel-good” store and also open minds in the area to different spiritual beliefs without scaring people away.

KR:  To bring Wiccans out of the broom-closet!

DD:  Alright.  Let’s see.  How do you both think that the class fits in with the whole ambiance that Whimsical Gems & Treasures had before the incorporation of the class?  Before you even though about it?

KR:  Well, she [Dina] found me at the flea market and.. well actually a mutual friend of ours has brought us together in a way.  I don’t believe in coincidences.  So I jumped right on it, and she had the goal to open up minds in the area and I have my goal basically to spread the word, and.. open up minds in the area.  Haha.

DD:  So it was kind of like a feeling of synergy, you guys coming together and all.

DM:  I already had the crystal healing.

DD:  Yeah.

DM:  And that is something not common in this area.  So that was my first, and I offer a variety of different spiritual items in the store, not just Christianity.

DD:  Yeah.

DM:  So it just tied in with what I’m trying to do already.

DD:  So Dina, do you think that if these types of classes catch on become pretty popular will you expand on that?

DM:  Yes.  I’ve already spoken to a Professor at VI, and he is interested in doing a discussion here, at the store on the similarities and differences of world religions.  And I think that for this to be an avenue to find things out that they didn’t know before.  It would be a great place to do it.

DD:  Is that scheduled yet?

DM:  No.

KR:  It’s not definite yet.

DM:  He just said he was interested, and said that we’ve got to get together and make a plan.

DD:  So you’re just “in talks” about it with him right now?

DM:  Yes.

DD:  Cool.  Okay, so what else can we expect from this?  Do you have anything else planned?

DM:  Just to be a peaceful, fun, store for everyone.  We are not a religious store, we are a spiritual store.  We are a feel-good store.  We want people to be able to find their own way, and their likes, and what they.. like!  You know, belief-wise, and shopping-wise.  If you notice, everything in the store is all about love, peace..

KR:  Friendship.

DM:  ..feeling good.  That’s my goal.

DD:  And my last question is:  Is there anything that either of you can think of or want to mention or talk abut, that I didn’t bring up?  Or that I didn’t mention?

DM:  I think you pretty much covered it.

KR:  Yeah.

DM:  Good job, Delmer!

DD:  Alright, well that’s it then.  Thank you both a lot for your time.

KR & DM:  And thank you!

***

I want to know what peoples thoughts are about this.  I want you all to wear my comment section out.  Any and all feedback would be appreciated.  I myself don’t know how I feel about this; it could be good insomuch that it will open the minds of the unappreciative.  But it also could be bad, because people generally don’t like change.  I guess we will see in the coming weeks!

The Jester.

 

Also, if you want to send feedback, sign up for the class, or just ask some questions, here is the stores contact info:

Dina Miller & Kayla Ramos

509C State Street

Bristol, VA 24201

http://whimgems2.com

 

What to expect from me next:

I wanted to share with everyone something that happened today.  In a series of serendipitous events, I came into contact with one of the coordinators (or somehow related) to an event being held in the near future right here in Bristol.  The Special Olympics.  Specifically the bowling event.  In the coming weeks, I am going to try to get together with her and get some more information about it.  It’s going to be a fun event, and I promise an excellent as well as detailed article about it.  This is a cause that is very near and dear to my heart, and I hope to give it the publicity it deserves.  I hope to see everyone there!

The Jester.

Merry Christmas!

I know I’ve been slacking with the new posts and everything.  I know they’re supposed to be posted on a certain day, and I’ve rarely been getting to them on time lately.  But with the Holidays being upon us as they are, I wanted to take the time to let everyone knot that I’m going to be taking a hiatus from the blog.  Don’t cry, I mean a partial hiatus.  Between working my full time jobs, shopping, spending time with family, taking care of my puppies, and cooking/eating, not to mention playing video games, I don’t have time to write the blog.  Don’t worry though, I’ll be back.  Let us all cool the jets, shift back to neutral, and let our batteries recharge.  I will be back early, 2011.

(I’ll still be doing my local Friday posts, as usual.)

Merry Christmas to all!

The Jester.

Outback Chronicles: The time a few people got fired. (Then re-hired)

At a restaurant, you have to understand.. there’s a core crew.  You’re either in that crew, or you’re not.  I never really knew where I fell in that crew.  I kept my mouth shut for the most part, and I saw how other people fell into the crew.  I could care less, as long as my paycheck was right.  Here’s one story:

Papa, you remember that guy.  He was a server, in the front of the house.  He was a jokester in the back of the house.  He showed up and did his job.  He did it very well.

Twice while I worked there, I found out that Papa was taking advantage of the dark parking lot on the side of the OS-Lounge.  He was taking advantage of it in a way that he wasn’t using it so much for parking, as he was using it for dealing drugs.  Well that’s all well and good right?  He never did it inside the restaurant, and he never did it while he was working, right?

Wrong on both counts.  He was the dealer for most of the restaurant staff, and a lot of the customers, from what I’ve heard.  I heard he served more pills/weed in the dining room of that restaurant while I worked there, than he served food.

He got fired twice, rehired twice, and then fired for the final time after I had stopped working there.  He was part of the crew.

Schmangle.  There’s another guy I haven’t talked about yet.  He was a 16 year old kid who could work the cook line (most of the time) better than anyone else could.  He got fired thrice by 3 different managers.  But always got hired back, because he was the “golden child”.  “He’s too young, he’s not mature” is what the owners/Ted would say.  He always left me out in the dust.  By that I mean he left an hour early which meant I had to stay 2-3 hours late.

It was ridiculous closing his station when no one else would do it.  He was part of the crew.
There’s 4 or 5 others that come to mind that run along the same lines, but I can’t give you the details, because then I would either put myself in danger, or someone else.  I don’t want to get anyone fired, and I apologize for this week’s entry being so short.  I promise I’ll have an awesome one for you this coming Friday.

Just remember that your cooks and waiters may not be who they seem.  Even though that doesn’t make them a good waiter/waitress, it makes them a different kind of person.  Do you want those people serving you your food, or even cooking it?  If it happens in this little place, it happens all over the place.

Keep that in mind the next time you order from a restaurant… exactly how much work goes into your food?

See you ordering off the vegetarian menu,

The Jester.

Top 10 Tuesdays 4: Christmas Break.

The season is upon us.. the Winter weather is finally here, and we’re starting to get more time off of work/school.  This is a special Top 10 list for the Christmas season, especially Christmas break.  Or it could be used for any random snow day you happen to have.  It might do really well for any day you actually play hookie from work, too.  This is for the days you are isolated, it’s cold outside, you don’t want to do anything you can’t do from underneath a blanket (Snuggies would work too).  This is for the days you are cut off from everyone and everything but your refrigerator, your video games, and maybe a coffee/hot cocoa maker.  You know those days, the ones where you have no obligations, and no one else is with you except maybe a roommate, a sibling, or a significant other.  The kind of days that just feel different, the way excused absences always do.

For these kind of days, you want something a little challenging, but that’s not too hard to figure out either.  For most of us, that crosses Ecco The Dolphin right off the list.  It’s my opinion though, that in cases like this, you have 2 choices:  1) Either you go back and play games you’ve already beaten, and look for every secret level, and hidden item.  Or 2) you take a tiny step outside of your comfort zone and play some games that you wouldn’t normally play.

If you’re more into FPS games, go with a racing game, or RPG/RTS.  If you’re more into puzzle/problem solving games, go with a simple button masher.  If you’re more into fantasy, find something from the action/adventure section.  Let’s jump right into it with…

#10.  Final Fantasy Origins (PS1)

This game.. I have to be honest with you.  I was reluctant to put this game on the list.  I have never played it.  Well, I’ve tried it, by which I mean, I took over for a friend who had to use the bathroom.  But I’ve seen it played, probably all the way through, and just because I haven’t had the opportunity to get ensconced by something that defined several genres of video games, and spawned about a million sequels/movies/anime shows/etc.. who’s to say you won’t like it?  I found a copy of this at a flea market for $4.  Game, case, manual, lock, stock, and barrel.  Not a bad deal, and I plan on playing it soon enough.  Give it a try!  Fifteen million fan geeks can’t all be wrong.

#9.  StarLancer (DC)

I know everyone expected at least 1 Dreamcast game to be on here.  I’m pretty partial to this system, but I keep my bias under control pretty well.  This is one of those games you play when you have time to kill.  Yeah, there’s a plot, no one knows what it is though.  Yeah, the controls are a little weird and hard to get used to, but you don’t have to work today, so you have time to get used to them.  There are multiple unfair things about the game, and they’re all stacked against you, but it’s okay.  As long as you stay warm today, you win.  So grab some hot cocoa, and get to playing this game.  I guarantee you it does not disappoint as a gigantic time waster, and will keep you busy as well as it will not frustrate you to death.

#8.  BattleTanx Global Assault (PS1)

 

I’m going to be honest with you on this one too..  The only reason why it’s on my list is because I found it on eBay, and I paid $8.94 for it with shipping and everything.  I forgot how awesome of a game this is.  The replay value of it is ridiculous, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve beaten this game, only to come back to it an hour later and start all over again.  It’s perfect for a day when you have nothing to do, no work, no school, just you and a blanket on the couch.  That’s all you need.  Maybe some coffee, because more than once this game has kept me up all night.  They have another version on the N64, and they’re about the same, I think it’s a little cheaper if you want to find a PS1 disc though.  I’d be willing to wager you can get a PS1 system, controllers, and this game for less than you can just the game on N64.  Either way you want to go though.

#7.  Batman Forever (Genesis)

 

Those of you out there who know me personally, know that I am one of the biggest batman nerds there are.  And back when this game was new, I remember having it on the Sega Genesis, as well as the Sega Game Gear.  I never got past the first level because it is such a horrible game.  But if you’re used to playing puzzle games, this would be right up your alley.  The controls are cryptic, the doorways/entryways that take you from screen to screen are unnecessarily hidden in random places, and I’m pretty sure the programmers were drunk when they wrote the code for it.  Because a lot of the stuff that needs to be done by the player would fit perfectly into the programmers saying something like:  “How much would they freak out if we have them do [insert random game play here]?”.  It really is crazy, but it makes sense.  They followed up a pretty terrible Batman movie with a pretty terrible Batman video game.  I’m sure though, as long as you’re shrugging off anything work related, or school related, this is one of the best games for you to plug in and play.  Actually, I’d say it’s the 7th best, haha.

#6.  ZOOP!  (Genesis)

 

Yeah, this is old school.  This is one of those games that boggles the mind, challenges the wit, and makes you solve puzzles.  I recommend playing it on those Christmas break days we’ve been talking about.  I can’t even really accurately describe it.  You’re a thing that has to move other things a certain way in order to collect other things in a row?  I don’t know.  Here’s a video…

The title is the truth.  ZOOP! is a quirky little puzzle game.  It is easy to play, difficult to master, and a lot of fun regardless.  If you find one cheap (I got my copy for one dollar) it’s worth picking up.  Not a classic, but a good retro game to check out.

#5.  Frogger 2: Swampy’s Revenge (DC)

 

In my opinion, this is one of the best games ever to be released on the Dreamcast.  It is an awesomely modern twist on a simple, classic video game that we all know and love.  It was on a newer console, so of course you could save your progress.  That was a God-send.  If you’re familiar with Frogger, that’s what this game is.  Except all the things you wish about Frogger, happened.  It’s 3D, there are more obstacles, there are longer levels, more complex mazes, and the whole she-bang.  If you have a Dreamcast and don’t yet have this game, head on over to dcisozone.com and download/burn it.  It is well worth the 4 minute download time, and 15 second burning time.  Great overall game that would have scored higher if it weren’t for…

#4.  Assassin’s Creed: Altair’s Chronicles.  (Nintendo DS)

This game is awesome.  Especially if you’re a fan of the Assassin’s Creed franchise on XBox 360.  I didn’t really like the thought of this game being on a portable console, but once you sit down and play it, you love it.  It’s perfect for staying in bed, pulling the blanket up over your head, and just going to town on some vids.  Game Stop has been selling used copies of this game for $14.99 but I have seen them cheaper.  I think they’re like $7 if you don’t need a case for it.  Check it out, it gives great use of the stylus (which takes a little time to get used to, but overall is decent), the controls are fluid, and everything is easy to grasp.  I highly recommend this game to anyone, snow day or not.

#3.  Super Mario Bros.  (Wii)

 

I’m trying to put newer games on these lists, for the younger crowd.  But there are just some games that are great.  This one for instance, is like Frogger 2, it’s an awesomely modern twist on a simple and classic game that we all know and love.  That’s really all it boils down to .  People who never played any of the NES Marios love this game, because of the easy and fluid controls.  The hard core gamers love it because it’s what we wish we had way back in the day.  It’s elegant, it’s simple, it’s beautiful.  Go pick it up if you haven’t already!

#2.  Dead Rising.  (XBox 360)

 

This game missed being number 1 this week by an inch.  I love this game, and it’s even arguably better than the second one.  I don’t know for sure, as I don’t have the second one yet.  But of all the people I’ve talked to who also play this game, no one has anything bad to say about it.  It’s great for snow days, or for when you finally get that day off and want to take out your frustration on some zombies.  It’s great to play anytime.  It’s great to play overall.  It’s almost as great to play as…

The Winner, and #1 this week.  Arkham Asylum.  (PS3)

 

Oh.  My.  Gah!  I love this game, and everyone should have a copy of it.  It’s the best thing to happen to Batman fans since Christopher Nolan took over directing the Batman movies from Joel Shumacher.  People complain about the controls, and how depressing some of the music is, and how it doesn’t make any sense.  And to those people, I say.. Fooey!  Go play this game, go play it, go play it now.  The controls couldn’t be easier to understand… of course they get harder as you go along because you gain different abilities and you have to time some of them just right.  And the music is depressing & dark?  It’s BATMAN!  The music is ALWAYS depressing and dark.  I’ve also been told that this game coincides more with the comic books than it does the movies.  With all due respect on that note, it’s even more true to the Batman name than the movies are.  After all, he did first show up in comic books.  So everyone needs to get their story straight before they go bashing a game because they’re not a Batman fan.  This is an awesome game, and I’m here to tell everyone.  Go play it on your next snow day, day off, or right now.  It’s worth the money, and worth the time you put into it.

See you next week…

The Jester. 

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