The Outback Chronicles: Part 1 of ???

For a while, I worked at the Outback Steakhouse.  Keep in mind this was back in my “demon days” when I was making choices that weren’t very.. shall we say, good.  I have thought about how to write this article over and over again, and have even come close to writing it before, but I would delete it in hopes of getting a job there again.  It has recently been pointed out to me though, by another former Outback Steakhouse (OS-Lounge) employee, and now one of my best friends, that neither of us are probably ever going to work there again.  So let’s just jump right in, shall we?

There were so many things that happened in the back of house (BOH), or in other words, the kitchen area of the OS-Lounge.  I honestly don’t know where to begin.  Let’s start with the organization:

Background information

There was a prep crew,who always came in early and prepped the food.  There was some overlap in the shifts they worked and the shifts I worked.  The shifts I worked were usually 12 noon till about 3am.  No lunch, no official breaks, though there were 2 employee bathrooms in the back that everyone used to smoke cigarettes (or partake in other activities) in.  There were the dish guys.. which were 2 guys stuck in an area of the kitchen smaller than a cubicle.  It was always wet, it was always hot, and it was impossible to stay clean.  That’s where I was most of the time.  I tried to do a good job, it just depended on how busy we were.  But the dishes were rarely ever spotless, so the guys washing them were nowhere near clean.  Then you had the cooks.. there was “hot side” and “cold side” over there.  Cold side consisted of one guy running all the fryers, and another making all the salads, they were a team.  Hot side consisted of one guy running the saute station and the grillmaster, they too were a team.. or dance partners, if you will.

I’m just going to call it like it is, I don’t want to reveal anybody’s name, so we’ll call the grillmaster the GrillMaster, and the saute guy, SauteGuy.  My friend and the only guy I still talk to from there, we’ll call him Larry, the kitchen manager at the time we’ll call Ted, and I’ll make up the rest of the names as we go along, Okay! So…

Mischief & Mayhem…

If I took the time to write out everything that happened while I was working at the OS-Lounge, I’d have a book’s worth.  And like the title says, this is only part 1 of…. however many I feel like coming up with.  Here’s the basic outline of different things that happened there, and i will end on that.  All I really wanted to do in this article was whet your whistle for what’s to come.  Next week, I’ll jump into some of the serious stuff, but first I wanted to let you know what really goes on in the kitchen, and get you familiar with the characters.

  • One of my dish washing partners would sneak off to the bathroom, crush up a loritab, snort it off of one of the cleaning supply shelves, then come back to work fired up.
  • SauteGuy, Grillmaster, and a girl, we’ll call her TheWaitress, would constantly smoke the ganja in the employee bathrooms.  We’d use a metal shrimp skewer to lock them in, so they would get blamed for the smell.  They never got in trouble for it though.
  • Larry (this was back in his demon days as well, he’s not like this anymore) would show up most days hungover.  To be fair though, most of the kitchen crew did as well, Larry was the only one that would show up with a pistol strapped to his back though.
  • Another guy, we’ll call him Parolee, would come in with 64oz. plastic gas station cups full of beer, or some type of alcohol and drink it during his shift.
  • Ted was a good manager.  He did his job, and was #1 in the region.  He had to be balanced though.  What I mean is, if he were too broke, he couldn’t afford his drugs, and he’d just be pissed off all the time.  If he was making too much money, he’d be too strung out to really care about anything.
  • Food preparation… that’s all I’m going to say, I’ve got a ton of horror stories about that.
  • A waiter, we’re going to call him “Papa” once urinated in a can of Monster, and gave it to SauteGuy.  When SauteGuy took a swig of it, he said: “Whyzit taste like piss?”, and Papa’s answer to it?  “Because I pissed in it.”  These are the guys cooking and serving you your food.
  • It was so bad in the kitchen that if an employee had something to eat, then stepped out of sight for more than 10 seconds, came back, and the other employees even had a smirk on their face, they would throw their food away.
  • Drunk & rowdy customers.
  • Have you seen the movie “Waiting”?  Remember the after parties?  Those exist, and happen frequently.

Are you satisfied for now?  Keep checking back, and as the weeks go by, I’ll fill you in on all the goings-on behind the scenes.  You’ll probably want to read what I have to say before you decide to go eat there again.

Happy dining!

The Jester.


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