Top 10 Tuesdays: Exam week special!

It’s that time of year again.  For our college kids out there, first couple of weeks of December = crunch time.  All that stuff you’ve been putting off, all the stuff you should remember but don’t.. everything is coming back to bite you in the badonkadonk.

I’m sure you have all kinds of dates, formulas, diagrams, practice problems, and rules/exceptions swimming around in your head.  There’s wadded up paper on your floor, a tower of pizza boxes next to your computer, your stress levels are high, and you want to pull your hair out.  Not to mention the extra warmth in your room from giving that pencil sharpener a huge work out.

This time of year, you need something easy to pick up and play.  Something simple.  Something single-player.  I know, bro!  You want to be alone, and zone out.  Aside from all the studying, you also have to keep up with Twitter, Facebook, and all those apps on your smartphone aren’t going to play with/use themselves, AMIRITE?!

You need something where it’s just you & the game, and nothing else.  So here is my run-down of the Top 10 video games to play during:  Exam week.

#10.  The Ren & Stimpy Show: Veediots! (SNES)

Nothing relaxes me more than acting like an idiot, playing a couple of idiots, on my own “idiot box” (that’s a T.V. for those of you not in the know).  You play as Ren, and you try to do stuff all while Stimpy tries to thwart your every endeavor.  Every time Stimpy touches y9ou, you lose health.  If he hits you enough, you die.  Don’t worry though, you CAN slap him, and he falls off screen.  Give it a try, and tell me it doesn’t put your mind at ease.

#9.  Excitebike (NES)

Excitebike is great for taking the edge off.  It’s simple, it’s exciting, you ride a dirtbike and do some jumps, and if you’ve really got some skill, you pop some wheelies.  That’s only for the experts though, it takes years of practice!  Anyways, your dirt bike never explodes, you never run out of health, and it just rocks.  Play it and tell me you don’t feel better about your life.

#8.  Metal Slug 3 (XBox)

I know XBox isn’t the original console this game came out on.  But c’mon, the controls are way better on XBox.  This game is easy to play, but hard hard hard to master.  This game pulled me out of being depressed a few years back, so I know it will make some people more relaxed during exams.  I’d rank this one higher if it weren’t for…

#7.  Paper Boy (Genesis)

What a great game.  Even if you are too young to have grown up with this game, you’ve at least heard of it.  It’s mindless.  You deliver papers to the white houses, and ride on past the red ones.  I’s mind numbing, you don’t even go in circles.  You go in pretty much straight diagonal lines.  it’s perfect for letting your brain synapses compress all the knowledge your cerebral cortex just absorbed.

#6.  B.O.B.  (Genesis)

This as a game, is quite the hidden gem.  You play as a weird teenage robot alien thing that collects different weapons and special items.  Bob is obviously his name.  The whole premise of the game is that Bob borrows his dads hover-car/space-ship vehicle thingy, and crashes it before he can pick up his date.  He goes through an adventure of all different levels before he can get the car fixed and FINALLY pick up his date.  Ironic right?  You’re going through this whole game to pick up a girl, when it’d be much more fun to go out and pick up a girl in real life.

#5.  Tiny Toons:  Buster’s hidden Treasure  (Genesis)

This is like Paper Boy.  You run around and collect carrots.  level after level, you collect carrots.  Makes sense.  You play as a rabbit, and they like carrots.  There might be a plot, but I’ll be darned if I can find one, or figure it out.  Also, I’m too lazy to look it up.  You don’t care!  You have exams to procrastinate studying for.

#4.  Bubble Bobble  (NES)

This is the epitome of a “Retro Game”.  It’s weird to explain, because it’s not too well known anymore, but it’s also kind of popular.  I know, it makes no sense.  It’s way too long forgotten, and was kind of stuck in the shadow of Super Mario Bros. 3, AKA The NES Juggernaut.  Anyways, in the game you shoot bubbles out of your mouth, collect fruit, and dodge angry, murderous, mutated toasters who are out to kill you.  Plot?  Synopsis?  Who cares, it beats studying.  For a few minutes anyways.

#3.  007 Racing  (PS1)

What’s not to love?  you play as 007, you’re cool, you’re suave, you’re sophisticated.  The only down-side is, you’re British.  Oh well, once you get past that, you get to drive his cool cars, blow stuff up, collect weapons, shoot pixelated, parallelogram-y people.  Give it a try, it’s like one buck on eBay, and you can use your PS2 to play it.

#2.  Super Mario Galaxy (Wii)

This is an awesome game, with a slight look back to the excitement that Mario 3 brought to the video game scene.  You have special powers & suits that are original to Mario Galaxy.  It’s another game that’s easy to pick up and play, but difficult to master.  So don’t get addicted to it until AFTER you ace your finals.

Winner this week & #1.  Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas  (PS2)

You can take out all of your anger, aggression, and frustration with this game.  it completely cleanses your medulla oblongata.  You steal cars, you shoot people (less pixelated people), you can do the missions, or use the free-range mode.  You know what to do.  Save game, don’t save game.  Just let it go, take your stress levels down a notch or two.  And in the game, you can pick up, hang out with, and commit crimes with, your girlfriend.  And isn’t that what you’d rather have during exams?  It happens.  Good luck!

Everything you need for exams. Aside from #2 pencils.

The Jester.

*All images are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  Images obtained through Google image search.*


2 Responses to “Top 10 Tuesdays: Exam week special!”

  1. I much like it!…

    Amazing article. I need you up-to-date your weblog much more often, I just cannot appear to be to own adequate of one’s blog. I saved your weblog in my bookmarks. Would it be feasible to do a guest article sometime?…

  2. Interesting read. I wish I felt inspired enough to write such good posts onto my own blog. It is hard.

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