What You REALLY Learn While Going to School in Southwest Virginia.

When I first went to college, I attended the prestigious Bradley University in Peoria, Illinois.  They gave me the most money right out of high-school, so that’s where my parents ended up sending me.  Through a few different circumstances and everything else, I wanted to finish up closer to home, so I transferred to a school in Southwest Virginia.  It was a bit of a culture shock to me, and I realized that on top of getting a very good book-smart education, I learned a few things that helped keep me street-savvy as well.  Shocking, I know, but here they are, in no particular order:

  • In Intramural soccer, always team up with the foreign exchange students.
  • Don’t complain about how far you have to walk.  Your class could be on the side of a mountain.
  • Two inches of snow, even in the mountains, will shut the whole campus down.
  • Running low on cash?  Go to different campus events for free food.
  • In what is a very conservative area in a mostly Republican state, you will meet more gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, and trans-gendered people here, than anywhere you’ve ever been.
  • Even on Friday & Saturday nights, pizza deliveries stop at 9:00 p.m.
  • Beer (in some counties) isn’t sold on Sundays.
  • Professors get to know you as a person.  They then take that, whether good or bad, and translate it to their grade book.
  • Facebook is more reliable than the school newspaper.
  • German people are crazy smart.
  • Fraternities/Sororities don’t have their own houses.
  • This is a pretty universal truth — freshmen are cocky, beligerant, and overall arrogant with something to prove.  Down here that’s the same, except they have an accent.
  • Most of the time, you don’t even need an appointment to talk to the Dean.
  • Older people go grocery shopping between 6 and 8 in the morning.
  • Whatever city or town the college is in, shuts down during the off-season.
  • The weekend parties consist of trips to Wal-Mart, or whoever is in your dorm room that night.
  • Everyone smokes cigarettes.
  • People from Virginia Beach throw away their furniture at the end of the semester.
  • Any test can be made up later.
  • There are more theatre majors per capita than students.
  • Youtube is a perfectly acceptable source for any project.
  • The same thing goes for the show “Mythbusters”.
  • You’re probably going to be in a smaller town than you’re used to.  So it’s not what you know, but who you know.
  • Grocery stores sell crawfish AND pickles.  Sometimes in the same container.
  • Most of our public restrooms are cleaner than anywhere in the country.  Because no one uses them.
  • Libraries generally have much, much older books.  Some 100 years old or more.
  • Most of the menu at mostly any seafood restaurant offers everything deep fried.
  • Homeless people prey on and will harass the college kids for money.  Some are violent, so be careful.
  • There will only be one liquor store near your campus and underage kids will wait outside looking for someone to buy for them.
  • Make a lot of friends early on, because going to college down here is kind of like high school.  You’re going to see everyone, every day.
  • If you start talking to someone, about someone else — I guarantee that person will show up half way through the conversation.
  • No one is willing to drive in any amount of snow.  Even the people with the really big trucks.
  • People down here have different talents than anywhere else in the country, possibly even the world.
  • People from up north think people from down here are less intelligent because of the way we talk.  People from down here know this, and are nice to the Northerners anyways.  That’s just how we are.
  • Most people you will meet, don’t have a shed.  They have a barn.
  • Traffic is slow?  We’re not in a hurry to get anywhere, we’re enjoying the ride.  Try it sometime.
  • You have something you don’t know how to cook?  Either boil it, grill it, or fry it… it’ll all turn out good.
  • Foosball is a waste of time.
  • You may have seen “goth” or “emo” kids in your high school, but that’s the last you’ll ever see of them in these parts.

There is so much more I could put in this article.  But I think this is sufficient for now.  Maybe I’ll add more to the list later.  All of this stuff I seriously came up with in about 10 minutes while I was at work.  So I’m sure if I planned some stuff out, I could have a list 4 or 5 times as long.  Either way, I have about 3 more articles to write up today, so I’ll see you then!

The Jester.


One Response to “What You REALLY Learn While Going to School in Southwest Virginia.”

  1. Sweet site, super design , rattling clean and utilise friendly .

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