Archive for the PS2 Category

Nerdy Monday 24: 2nd and Charles

Posted in 1980's, 1990's, Cinemassacre/James Rolfe, Crash Bandicoot, N64, Nerdy Monday, NES, Playstation, PS2, PS3, Retro, T.V. shows, Video Game, XBox, XBox 360 with tags , , , , , , , , , , on September 18, 2014 by Divide By Zero

I am finally going to be writing more regularly.  I had a lot of stuff gonig on these past few months (years, really), and I thank you to everyone who has visited my site during the hiatus.

I wanted to come back on a Nerdy Monday, because that (in all honesty) was my favorite post to write each week.  Since the last time I posted a Nerdy Monday article, I’ve moved.  Therefore the locality of the blog articles to be written are going to pertain mostly to Northern Virginia/Washington D.C.  For some articles, like the top 10 lists, locality won’t matter.  However, for this re-introduction special to Nerdy Monday XXIV, I’m going to be talking about Heaven on Earth.  Or simply by its name: 2nd & Charles.  Particularly the one in my home town of Woodbridge, VA.  How can you not love a place that puts this up on its facebook page:

It might be photoshopped, but this is ALWAYS what I see pulling into the parking lot.

It might be photoshopped, but this is ALWAYS what I see pulling into the parking lot.

For those of you who have never heard of a “2NC”, allow me to explain;  It’s a sort of 2nd hand bookstore, music store, game stop (more like a now defunked Funcoland), toy store, and comic book store all rolled into one.  Personally, I go there for the video games.  Like a moth to a flame.  Because they buy back older books, vinyls, comic books, and everything else, they have a lot of old video games.  I’m talking about original Gameboy, all the original Nintendo, Sega Master System, Genesis, Game Gear, Game Cube, etcetera, all the way up through the X-BONE & the PS4.  What’s not to love?!  I’ve told my fiancee that I could spend hundreds of hours, and thousands of dollars there, and it’s true.  I have to give myself a limit on how much I am going to spend before we even leave to go there, and I almost never stay below budget.

If you haven’t liked them on facebook yet, do it!  If you haven’t subscribed to their e-mail list, you’re missing out.  On facebook, they put up all sorts of pictures of new items they bought back, or deals they have on clearance items, it’s wonderful.  When I have nothing to do, while I’m out running errands with my family (that don’t directly involve me or require my help) I get dropped off there and 3 hours goes by in the blink of an eye.  Also on facebook, you’ll receive special promotions they have at the buyback counter (another one of my favorite departments).  The most recent one I participated in was:

LAST DAY to receive DOUBLE CREDIT when you trade in your used#videogame #consoles, #games, and #accessories! Drop by before 7pm and SCORE BIG with buyback today!
#retro #pikachu #snes #nes #n64 #nintendo #gamecube #xbox #xboxone#xbox360 #playstation #PS4 #PS3 #ps2 #sony #atari #ds #dsi#smashbrothers #destiny #nostalgia #woodbridge #virginia #nova
Photo: LAST DAY to receive DOUBLE CREDIT when you trade in your used #videogame #consoles, #games, and #accessories! Drop by before 7pm and SCORE BIG with buyback today!
#retro #pikachu #snes #nes #n64 #nintendo #gamecube #xbox #xboxone #xbox360 #playstation #PS4 #PS3 #ps2 #sony #atari #ds #dsi #smashbrothers #destiny #nostalgia #woodbridge #virginia #nova
 [Author: excerpt from 2NC’s facebook page]
Yes, DOUBLE credit for any old video games and consoles.
If you know me personally, AT ALL, you know that I’ve amassed quite a vintage video game collection.  Nothing crazy, or youtube worthy, but nobody needs 6 Sega Genesis consoles, all of the same model.  Even worse, I felt I didn’t need more than 2 PS1’s seeing as how my PS2’s and PS3 play PS1 games.  Also, all the duplicate copies of games I have had to go.  Opportunities like this don’t happen very often, so for most people, it’s a way to streamline your ’80’s & ’90’s arcade, as well as build up some store credit at a great place like 2NC.  What I want to do with my collection (and your plan for yours may be different) is to get rid of all of my cheaper games, and focus on getting the good games that everyone remembers.  OddWorld: Abe’s Exodus, Contra, Commando, Final Fantasy VII, Anything Crash Bandicoot.  I know I’ll never have a collection like my mentor, The Angry Video Game Nerd’s, but I’d like my collection to make people a LITTLE envious!
This place seriously has something for everyone.  Autographed & classic books, vinyl records and CDs out the ying-yang, every Wednesday is New Comic Book Day, movies and TV shows on DVD, toys, collectibles, video games, and a ton more.  I spent close to 100 dollars one time on stuff I didn’t even know I needed!  A tetris Ice cube tray, space invaders alarm clock, video game cases, DVDs I wanted in my library for $2.50 a piece, a poster that went perfectly in my living room (before my fiancee told me to move it).  Batman stuff, comic books, t-shirts, and a joker thumb drive are on my “To Get” list as well.  I know they don’t need any advertising from me, and I’m not getting paid by anyone to write this article, I just genuinely love 2nd & Charles.  So, like I said, if you haven’t checked it out, check it out, like them on facebook and join their mailing list.  When they buy back things, you can get cash too (though not as much as if you got store credit), so it’d be nice for someone who wants to find a good home for the junk they don’t use.
I’m probably going to be writing about 2nd & Charles for a couple of more Nerdy Monday spots, so I’ll keep you up to date on what’s going on there.  It’s not lazy using the same topic or subject, there’s just way too much at that store to put in one blog article.  Until then!
Say whaaaaat?

Say whaaaaat?

 

Holla!

Holla!

Nerdgasm.

Nerdgasm.

Whoa!

Whoa!

See you at 2ND & Charles!

 

*All images obtained using “2NC Woodbridge” Facebook Page.  Link to Cinemassacre used without permission*

My Tribute to Sony’s wonderful Playstation 2.

Posted in 1990's, 2000's, Dreamcast (Long Live the...!), N64, PS2, PS3, Sony, Video Game with tags , on February 21, 2013 by Divide By Zero

What can I say about the Sony Playstation 2 (PS2)?  In my mind it’s the one of the greatest systems out there.  It had almost a 13 year run, and was sadly discontinued on January 7th of this year.  You can’t really say anything bad about a console that grew to the age of most 8th graders in a world where technology becomes obsolete in [right around] 6 months.

Although I do think it’s funny that all of the other discontinuation articles or blogs I’ve read say something to the affect of: “So long PS2!  Sony’s most popular console is officially off the market.”  Really?  Of course it’s the most popular console; it’s only been out for 13 years.  Before that was the Playstation 1 (PS1).  That wasn’t a terrible console, but it was up against some heavy competition from the two titans of the industry at the time.

Released in late 1995, the PS1 hit the scene.  Immediately it was in competition with the Super Nintendo until 1996, (when the Nintendo 64 came out) and the Sega Genesis.  A lot of parents were weary about buying their kids a PS1 for the same reason why they were skeptical about the original XBOX when it first came out.  It was a produced by a “new” company, with no established credibility in the video game industry.  I’m sure next to no one knew this back in 1995/96, but the only other console that Sony had ever produced was a CD based model actually financed by Nintendo.  It was a flop for a lot of reasons.  But more power to the people at Sony for taking what they learned from Nintendo and venturing out on their own to become one of Nintendo’s biggest competitors.  Who would have ever thought that would happen?

Anyways, back to the guts of what I was saying… Being right about 10 years old at the time, me and most of my friends had either a Genesis, or a SNES.  I didn’t get a PS1 until a few years later in 1999, around the same time the Sega Dreamcast came out.  I remember that Christmas!  I was actually more of a Sega fan during my youth, and needless to say, wanted a Dreamcast more than anything else in the world.  Looking back on it now, how could anyone NOT pick the Dreamcast over other systems?  Do you remember the commercials?

I guess I was more of a visually influenced person.  Or maybe I was just showing loyalty to the company that gave me my awesome Genesis.  Or maybe I was just a dumb kid.  Who knows?  But I was sucked in by the commercials, the posters that came in magazines or in the mail, and the displays they had in the stores.  What about the boxes the consoles came in?  Remember the boxes?  Give me a little color, please:

Nice and colorful.  Something kids would want, right?

Nice and colorful. Something kids would want, right?

Wrong.  Everyone took the "ninja-box" for granted.  Or a lot of us did.  Ok, maybe it was just me.

Wrong. Everyone took the “ninja-box” for granted. Or a lot of us did. Ok, maybe it was just me.

In either case, the PS2 ultimately won without even breaking a sweat.  The Dreamcast’s lifespan lasted a measly few years.  About 2 or 3.  I’m not even going to look it up—that’s how short it was.  While the PS2 continued its reign for that PLUS a decade.  And it’s still a console that begs to be played.  I still have mine sitting right next to my PS3, and honestly, lately, it’s been getting more use than the PS3.

Also, according to wikipedia and a few other articles, Sony has stated that there are 10,828 titles available for the PS2.  That is an enormous number, considering it took the entire lifespan of the NES to amass around 900 titles in its library.  But what else can you expect from the PS2, which is a system that brought about the success of companies like Rockstar Games and EA (Sports division) almost single-handedly.  It also made popular the Dance Dance Revolution and Guitar Hero franchises.  To this day, I can’t go to a family gathering without there being a Guitar Hero competition, and I dare you to walk into an arcade –any good, respectable arcade– without there being at least 2 DDR platforms.

All that parental fear of Sony went away with the release of the PS2.  I remember fondly when it came out.  Five days before Halloween in the year 2000.  The world was still talking about Y2K and people were still exclaiming about how “We (as a society) overcame the biggest could-be technological poop-storm in the world!” –To date, anyway.  Within 24 hours of the PS2’s release in Japan, it sold a million units.  It was the main reason why the Dreamcast’s release date was delayed 2 or 3 times (15 year old me got an ulcer every time I heard the date got pushed back).  AND it caused Nintendo to completely tear down and rewrite their policy considering 3rd party software developers.  Nintendo, pre-PS2, wanted to be the only company making software for its consoles, with a few exceptions.  Post-PS2 Nintendo actually encouraged 3rd party development and expanded its horizon farther than what it thought was possible.

For me, that was the turning point.  After the PS2 made itself known and told the world it wasn’t going anywhere; that was the point where Nintendo was dethroned as ruler of the world.  Remember those days?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6NhfRFSaFo

Yes, in those days, Nintendo controlled everything!

I could go on and on about the PS2.  I’m sad it’s gone, it had a good run.  Sony implemented a lot of innovations on the PS2 over the years (the games, the console itself, the controllers, networking capability) that it’s still using and improving on.  Look at a Dualshock 2 and a Dualshock 3 controller and tell me what the differences are.  OK, one is wireless, you got me.  Other than that?

In closing, thank you Sony for the Playstation 2.  It had a great run, and I look forward to playing it for years to come (plus now is the time to hit up the flea markets, yardsales, ebay, whatever because the price has gone way down on everything!).  Rest in Peace PS2.

I better cut it here before I keep, uh… whatever the writing equivalent of “rambling” is.  I just wanted to use this as an opportunity to let my fans and readers know that I am back from hiatus, and will be continuing to add to this site as often as I can.  Thank you for coming back to my blog, and I hope to have a lot of more good stuff out for you in the coming weeks.  Comment, share, subscribe, whatever… just keep reading!

–The Jester.

*All images were found by using Google Image Search and are property of their respective owners.*

*All videos were obtained through YouTube search and are property of their respective owners.*

Followup to my Craigslist Post

Posted in Craigslist, Downtown Bristol, Local, Modern, PS2, PS3, Video Game on April 12, 2011 by Divide By Zero

I apologize for not posting articles in a timely manner as I should have been doing.  But I am not skipping any, I am sticking to the schedule I had made up months ago.  Except for this article, I changes what it was going to be.  A number of weeks ago, I posted an article complaining about people who are trying to rip other people off on craigslist.  I didn’t think I’d have a lot of responses to it, but people in my area (and across the nation) have been flooding my inbox with complaints about my.. complaint.  I think it’s because I sometimes promote my blog on the local news pages of Craigslis *snicker*, as well as have it featured on tricities.com.  So everyone out there in my locale who is a craigslist user can read it.  Let’s see what they had to say:

“ur such a whiney complainey moron! i hope you were one of the people from clist that i ripped off in kingsport!” ~Mandy from Johnson City

Well, Mandy.. where do I begin?  I wasn’t whining, at least if I were I’d be able to spell the word “whiny” when describing myself.  And I wouldn’t have to make up words like “complainey”, then I’d be a moron.  And notice how she says: “one of the people…I ripped off”.  So she was definitely one of the people I was trying to lecture to in my last post.  Who’s next?

“why are you such a b**** dude? its just ppl trying to make a buck.” ~Dave from Asheville

I agree, dude.  But buyer beware, I think that if people were more interested and knowledgeable of the value of what they’re trying to acquire was, then stuff like this wouldn’t happen.  That was one of my intentions of writing my post (hereafter referred to as The Letter), to bring awareness.

“But I have over 55 games that im seling with my ps2, that makes it worth at least $150 moer!” ~Toad from Abingdon

Negative, Ghost Rider.  Head to GameStop and see how much they give you for your “over 55 games” (read: 56 games).  You would be extremely lucky to walk out of there with 60 extra dollars, depending on your collection.  Asking more than double that is just stupid.  Like your face.

“just bc u’ve been burned b4 on the clist doesnt mean ereyone is gettin burned” ~Byrne from Johnson City

How do you use an apostrophe in (not even really) a word like “u’ve” but you don’t in “doesn’t”.  Come on man, step your grammar and punctuation up.  And this is the second time people have called it “the clist”.  What is a clist?  Do you want to slang the word “Craigslist”?  Then there has to be a hyphen in there.  The C-List.  I can see that.  But poor rhetoric aside, Mr. Byrne does have a point.  Just because one person gets burned, doesn’t mean everyone is out to burn someone (Mandy).  I am fortunate enough to not have been burned on Craigslist yet.  Although, I have only made one purchase off of it.

“u need to kwit wit all dis bull**** man what give u da rite to preach like you now sumthin? i do all my business on craig list and i nevur rip no bady off” ~Phil from Damascus

Don’t send your kids to school in Damascus.

All I was trying to say to everyone is that their old video games are not worth what they think they are.  There’s no way you’re going to trade an original XBox for a PS3, even if you have all the games and extras ever made for it.  If you do, give me that persons contact info, I have a few XBox’s I’m trying to get rid of.

There are many many more e-mails I could post up here, but I don’t see any point in it.  I really wasn’t trying to stir the pot of the online Craigslist community.  Just seriously think about a trade, or a purchase before you buy from someone online.  I know it’s been said about a trillion times.  It should be common sense by now, but still people get tricked into every kind of scam.  It saddens me a little bit.

Stay tuned for next week’s Outback Chronicles!

The Jester.

Top 10 Tuesdays 14: For Them Sick People Out There

Posted in 1980's, 1990's, 2000's, Dreamcast (Long Live the...!), Modern, N64, NES, PS2, Retro, Top 10 Tuesdays, Transformers on February 25, 2011 by Divide By Zero

It’s that time of year again.  Everyone at my day job either has been or is now sick.  Same thing goes for the people at my night job, my weekend job, everyone I tutor, and everyone I meet.  Except for me, of course.  My immune system is one of the parts of my body that is actually more awesome than I am.

Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to give you some suggestions as to how to spend the time off you’re inevitably going to take at the slightest tickle in your throat.  Therefore, let’s get right down to brass tax with:

The Top 10 Video Games To Play When You’re Sick

#10.  Virtua Cop  (Sega Saturn)


You’re already in a crappy mood.  You may as well try and play a crappy game on a crappy system.  Playing this game with a normal controller is horrible, and I’m guessing playing with a light gun controller isn’t very much better.  And finding a plot in this game is harder than finding a pulse a palm tree.  But it’s worth checking out.  And I think I got my copy for $1.00 including shipping.

#9.  Bubsy II  (Sega Genesis)


This is a silly, childish, “feel-good” kind of game that most people would consider a “kiddy-game” but it’s still awesome.  I could go on for pages and pages about all the different quirky little things involved with this game that are enjoyable.  But I don’t have time, because this is just a top 10 list.  Consider this one chicken soup for your video game itch.

#8.  Aladdin  (Sega Genesis)


My mom used to really get into this game, so i don’t know how well this one will work for everyone, but for me it’s a comfort game.  So if you miss your mommy, or she isn’t there for one reason or another, to take care of you, this is the game to play.

#7.  Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen  (PS2)


There is never a bad time to play this game.  Optimus Prime’s butt-kicking ability mixed with the other characters special moves that you get to play will have you feeling like you can take on the world again in no time!  Definitely worth checking out.. I think I paid about $6.00 for my copy, and it is well worth the investment!

#6.  Mario 64  (N64)


This is a great overall game that used to take weeks out of our respective schedules to beat.  Now you can get it done if you can manage to get 2, possibly 3 days off from work/school.  Plus it’s good to play this game to the point where you can beat it, if only to have it under your belt.

#5.  Speed Devils  (DC)


You can definitely beat this game if you aren’t sick enough to get more than one day off.  There’s a glitch you can use that will help you out.  The most expensive car is $200,000.  The one next to it in the showroom is $20,000.  Once you save up the 20 grand, look at the car that you can afford with it, then if you switch to the $200,000 car (I think it’s called the Mystere) and hit “A” to purchase it as quickly as possible before the new price shows up on the screen.  If you do it correctly, you buy the $200,000 car for 1/10th the price.  It’s also the fastest car that will ensure you win every race.  Check it out.  With or without the glitch it’s a fun and enjoyable game to play.  I think the Dreamcast in general is that way, and they all are very cheap, and as I’ve mentioned before, the games are practically free.  So considering what you pay for ir, the Dreamcast will probably give any collector the most bang for their buck.

#4.  Kid Chameleon  (Sega Genesis)


This is a really great game.  I think it’s one of the hidden gems in the Sega library.  It’s kind of tricky, and just a little bit weird.  I forget what the plot is, but there is one there.  They call him Kid Chameleon because you can run around and get different suits that change you into different things.  There’s one that turns you into Jason (from the Friday the 13th  movie franchise), there’s a Samurai suit, and my favorite (which you don’t get until about the 6th level) suit that turns you into a tank.  There’s 35 (?) I think different suits in all and there are about 5 different suits in each level.  It’s fun running around and just seeing what the suits can do.  It’s even more fun finding your favorite one and dominating the entire game with it!  It’s an average of $4.00 on eBay, or you can get it for the Nintendo Wii’s Virtual Console for 500 points (or $5.00).

#3.  Cubivore  (Game Cube)


I don’t know where to start with this one.  It’s cute, it’s crafty, it’s enjoyable, and it’s just great.  It’s easy to slip into a game like this and find yourself in a trance, trying to get farther and farther into it.  Look at this video, it’s long but it’ll give you a good feel for the game:

Great, right?  It’s a little different, and you can tell that this is not a cookie-cutter game.  That’s why I like it so much!  For just about every popular or trendy game out there you can name, I can retort with at least 10 games that are at least 90% the same.  How many games have you played like Cubivore?  One… and that’s only if you’ve played Cubivore.  It’s worth checking out, and it’s colorful, and a little complex.  At the very least, it’ll make your NyQuil trip pretty interesting.

#2.  Virtual Hydlyde  (Sega Saturn)


This game is friggin’ weird.  It’s perfect for playing while you’re under the weather.  It’s impossible to get bored with.  The map is randomly generated, and it’s so terrible it’s great.  It’s also so great it’s terrible.  You can Youtube some of the game play on this game.. but I won’t dare link it onto this article.  I have not only a moral, but an ethical problem with that.  It’s unspeakably horrible.  Playing this game while you’re ill will be best if you take lots of breaks to puke.  …because you’re sick.  Oh and because the game sucks too.

#1.  Dr. Mario  (NES)


This is a classic, simple, easy, feel-good game.  It’s not considered a “true Mario” game because there are no pipes, no raccoon tails, no fire flowers, no koopas, and no goombas.  It’s a tetris-esque knock off with Mario thrown in to boost the sales numbers.  It’s very worth it, and the best part is it’s beatable even if you’re sick as a dog.

There’s my rundown of how you should spend your sick time.  Anything else is a waste of time.  So instead of heading to the pharmacy aisle of your local grocery store, head to gamestop instead.

See you there.

The Jester.

*All images and videos are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google image search. All videos obtained through Youtube search.*

Top 10 Tuesdays 6: Vids to play on your honeymoon.

Posted in 1980's, 1990's, 2000's, Dreamcast (Long Live the...!), Girlfriends, Halo, Modern, NES, Playstation, PS2, Retro, TMNT, Top 10 Tuesdays, XBox on January 25, 2011 by Divide By Zero

In hopes of getting through all this winter-y nastiness, I figure I’m going to start looking forward to Spring.  Spring is a wonderful time of the year, and I’d be willing to put money on the fact that there are more weddings in Spring than there are in any other season.  It’s the time of rebirth, rejuvenation, Spring Fever, and starting anew.

If you’re a hardcore gamer, you play games in any given circumstance.  And I mean, on your honeymoon is no exception.  You are going to have some down time in between all the consummating, believe it or not.  Hardcore gamers are more loyal to their video games than mailmen are to the mail.  Nor rain, nor sleet, nor nuptials are going to keep you from playing.  Nor power outages, nor earthquakes, nor slow internet connectivity either.  None of that will stop a true gamer, we’re like electronic Boy Scouts.. we’re always prepared.

It’s a sad but true fact that there are a lot of video gamers out there that rush through work, skip social events, even flake out on funerals [which is astonishingly disrespectful by the way] when they’re in the middle of something on their favorite game.  With that being said, let’s jump right into it, and talk about the…

Top 6 Video Games to Play on Your Honeymoon!

I know what you’re thinking… and yes, this is the first top 10 I’ve done that doesn’t go up to 10.  But if you remember my first Top 10, I said specifically that sometimes I’ll go past 10, sometimes I won’t make it to 10.  So get over it and enjoy the rest of the post.

#6.  The Little Mermaid  (Game Boy/Super Game Boy (SNES))

Okay, I’m going to be honest on this one.  This isn’t only for your new bride to play while you’re in the bathroom, or running down the block to pick up food or whatever it is you’re doing leaving the hotel room.  This is actually a challenging game.  It goes to show that some graphic design companies (in this case Capcom) can take something as little kid-ish and as girly as the little mermaid and actually make a decently challenging game out of it.  I get frustrated playing it, it’s quite hard.  And to be even more honest, it’s only on this list because it’d be a good tool for you and your better half to bond over early on in your marriage. Who knows?  Later on, if she starts getting on your case about playing too much C.O.D. Black Ops, you’ll have at least a little ammunition for your side of the argument.

#5.  18 Wheeler Pro American Trucker (Dreamcast)

If you haven’t played this game, it’s pretty awesome.  The only thing about it is, I’m pretty sure it isn’t realistic at all.  It’s like the difference between Forza Motorsports and Speed Devils.  If you haven’t played those games either, go play them.  AFTER you play 18 wheeler.  I included this game on this list because you’ve just taken a leap of faith with a woman to embark on a new life together.  You need something to help you feel like a man.  Short of taking classes, changing your lifestyle, getting your CDL, and buying a truck… this is it.

#4.  Halo 2  (XBox)

I know, I know.. You’re thinking “Jester… enough with the friggin’ Halo already!”  But I’m telling you, there is never a bad time to play it!  It’s addicting, it revolutionized first person shooters back in the day.  Then Call of Duty manned-up and took the whole fps genre to a different level with their entire franchise.  This game is perfect to play with your new wife because you can either work together towards a common goal [ridding the universe of those pesky aliens] or you can battle to see who is the better soldier.  The choice is yours, just remember… while playing with a new bride, it’s important to take into account that from now on there are going to be consequences to every action you take.  Think about that for a while.

#3.  A Boy and His Blob  (NES)

I can’t report on the new remake they did of this game on the Wii, because I haven’t played it yet.  But this game came up in a conversation I had with a friend of mine about a week ago.  I started thinking about it, and while I was writing up this article, I decided to include it.  I haven’t played through this game in its entirety since I was about 8 years old, so I can’t tell you all about the plot and everything, but here’s what I remember:  You play as the boy, and you have your own blob.  You feed the blob different flavors of jellybeans, and depending on the flavor, the blob changes into a certain shape.  A ladder, or a bridge, or something.  It’s up to you to place the blob in the right place, and feed him the right flavor of jellybean.  It gets rather cryptic, and intriguing.  And if you’re playing it on your honeymoon, you wife is going to be there.  And since you have a wife now, she’s going to remember everything for you.  And since there are about 100 different flavors of jellybeans, and you’ve been married for less than a week, you can use her honed skill to your advantage.  It might be the only time in the marriage you get to do so.  Let me know how that one goes!

#2.  Rampage  (NES)

This also came out on Playstation 1, and again on the PS2, but there’s nothing like playing the original 8-bit game.  It’s a fantastic 2 player game where both of you play as monsters and you just keep traveling right, and destroying buildings.  It’s perfect for if you feel a fight coming on, or if you’ve been playing all the other games on the list, and hogging the controller.  If she actually wants to play with you, great!  If she doesn’t, then you have a whole new set of problems on your hands.

The Winner, and #1.  Battle Toads  (NES)

As we all know, this game is a thinly veiled attempt to cash in on the Ninja Turtles franchise.  This game came out not too long after the TMNTs hit the scene.  So a different company came up with a far-fetched synonym for “ninja” and a different amphibian, threw them together, and marketed them as something different.  It’s been going on since the dawn of time.  Anyways, that’s not why this is the best game to play on your honeymoon.  The reason why is because there is no versus mode, only cooperative.  It’s an arcade style button-masher with one fatal glitch… they left friendly fire turned on.  So if your new mate is talking too much and frustrates you to the point of slapping her or something (or, vice-versa for the girls out there reading this) don’t slap her in real life, that’s a horrible way to go.  Pop in this game, and go to town on her/him.  Blame it on the glitch, they’ll never know the difference.

See you at the reception,

The Jester.

 

*All images are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google Image Search.*

Top 10 Tuesdays 5: Video Games To Make Drinking Games Out Of!

Posted in Alcohol Involved, Dreamcast (Long Live the...!), Halo, PS2, Retro, Video Game, XBox on January 11, 2011 by Divide By Zero

Let me start this article by saying that I do not condone drinking alcohol.  I used to drink a lot, but don’t anymore.  Now I think of it as a waste of time, money, energy, and a lot more.  Aside from the fact that it’s unhealthy.  But just because that’s my belief, doesn’t mean it’s the belief of everyone else.  I know the younger people, mostly those who have just turned 21 and thus earned the privilege to drink  alcohol, are all into drinking games.

That being said, here we go with…

THE TOP TEN VIDEO GAMES TO MAKE DRINKING GAMES OUT OF!

Yes, drinking games have supposedly been around since the dawn of, well… drinking.  It started with the ancient Greeks, all the way through the college age kids of today.  They have caused deaths, built fraternity bonds, induced vomiting, and all around been an experience all of us at one time or another have partaken in.  Some of the harder-core drinkers I know claim they can make a drinking game out of anything.  And being the hard-core retro gamer I am, I’m going to do the same thing here.  So let’s start of with…

#10.  Mechwarrior 3050  (SNES)

Have you ever played Mech Warrior on the PC?  Well this is the “primitive” version of that.  It’s an awesome game, and as it turns out it’s kind of challenging.  Not real, real challenging, the way Call of Duty Black Ops tends to be, but just challenging enough to make a little side-game out of.  And it’s not an online game, therefore, it has a “pause” option.

The Rules:

  1. Every time you destroy an enemy Mech, drink.
  2. Every time you destroy an enemy Mech using only your machine gun, take 2 drinks.
  3. Level complete?  Take 3 drinks.

That’s it.  Trust me, that’s all you need.  It won’t get you super drunk or anything, but I guarantee that if it were any harder, you wouldn’t want to play it.

#9.  Sly 2: Band of Theives  (PS2)

I know I’ve written about this game before.  So as you many know, this is more of a game for younger kids.  BUT[!] you can definitely make a side game out of it.  It’s kind of like Grand Theft Auto, insomuch as it has missions, as well as a free-range mode.  Play it for a little while, it grows on you.

The Rules:

  1. Complete a mission, take 2 drinks.
  2. Collect 100 coins, take 2 drinks.
  3. Steal a rare item, take 5 drinks.
  4. Complete one section with 100%, and finish your drink, PLUS one drink.

Childish video game equals a childish drinking game right?  I tried this while drinking Hawaiian Punch, and had to pee 8 times in an hour.

#8.  KISS! Psycho Circus: The Nightmare Child  (Dreamcast)

I may have talked about this game before, but I know it’s a hidden gem.  There’s not too many people out there that know about it.  I’s your basic rockstar-sell-out, built-on-a-DOOM-engine, psychotic first-person-shooter.  It’s actually an alright game.  KISS actually has nothing to do with it except that their name is in the title, and maybe because it’s what KISS used to picture when they were on a bad trip while on stage. Not to mention, the year this game came out (2000), the final boss fight had more enemies on screen at once than any other game out at the time.

The Rules:

  1. I would say “kill an enemy” and drink.  But in this case, you would die before 2 levels were up.  So, kill 15 enemies, drink once.
  2. Find an unusual item/weapon, drink 2.
  3. Find an image of any of the members of KISS, drink 5 (this is a rather hard one).

I mean, check out a screenshot of this game…

The final rule is: drink 3 if you can make sense of this game.  The programmers didn’t have logic in mind when they created it, so if you can understand it, CLEARLY you are too sober.

#7.  Motherload  (Internet Game)

This is a game I stumbled across during Freshman year of college.  Found here [XGen Studios], Motherload is an elegantly simple game.  You play as this little mining contraption that has to drill down through the surface of Mars.  You look for precious gems, hidden artifacts and even dinosaur bones.  Let that sink in.. dinosaur bones… on MARS.  Yeah.  Anyways, you drill down and get different metals/gems, and have to get back to the surface before you run out of fuel, and you can’t take too much damage.  Run out of fuel, or take too much damage, and game over.  You have one life and no continuances.

The Rules:

  1. Drink every 1,000 feet you drill.
  2. Drink every time you sell your metals.
  3. Drink 2 every time you upgrade your vehicle.
  4. Drink 2 every time you fill up your fuel tank.

You will enjoy this one, and it’s definitely not as complicated as you might think.  Get it done, son!

#6.  Air Force Delta  (Dreamcast)

Another game that was great for the Dreamcast, and still is.  It’s your basic fly-around-and-destroy-stuff game.  It’s pretty easy, and with every mission you complete, you get money.  You use the money to buy planes, every time you crash a plane or get shot down, you have to buy that plane again.  So basically planes = lives.

The Rules:

  1. Shoot down a plane, drink 1.
  2. Shoot down a plane with only your machine gun, drink 5 (it’s pretty tough).
  3. Complete a mission, finish your drink.
  4. Buy a plane, take a drink.

Easy game, easy drinking game.  Oh it will get harder… don’t think you’re one of those pilots who can drink while flying.  No one is.

#5.  Tetris  (System Varies)

Ahh tetris.  A game everyone knows.  A game everyone loves.  A game no one can beat (except for the Japanese).  This game is more versatile when it comes to making a drinking game out of it.  Like all of these games though, feel free to play around with the rules.  Add some, subtract some, change it up a little bit.  But this one is really easy to make the side-game out of.

The Rules:

  1. Drink 1 every 5 lines you get.
  2. Drink 2 with every level advancement.
  3. Drink 3 every time you die/start over.
  4. Drink 4 every 5 levels you beat.

Haha, think you know how to play tetris?  After this, you won’t remember how to.

#4.  Grand Theft Auto – Vice City Stories  (PS2)

This has got to be one of my most favorite games in the GTA franchise.  We all know about this one, because it’s not all that old, so…

The Rules:

  1. Get 5 stars, take 5 drinks.
  2. Find a new weapon, get a new drink.
  3. Complete a mission, complete a drink.
  4. Drink for every 2 minutes you are in free range mode, doing nothing.
  5. Blow something up, take a drink.

There’s about 40 more rules you can make right off the top of your head, but that’s way too much.  And when it comes to drinking games, you have to keep it simple.  For all of these games, especially this one, please use beer… if you drink liquor to play this game, it will kill you in minutes.  Be safe with it.

#3.  Halo 1  (XBox)

I told you that this game is my favoritest game ever.  I try to be unbiased, but darn it all, this game is so awesome, there is no bad time to play it.  This one actually ranked higher this time for legitimate reasons though.  It’s up to 16 players, or more likely 1-4 players.  And drinking is supposed to be a social thing, so you need more people around to keep you in line, and make sure you’re not breaking any of the rules.

The Rules (this is for 4-player versus mode):

  1. Kill someone, take a drink.
  2. Die, drink.
  3. Use a vehicle, take a drink.
  4. Chug your beer while waiting for respawn.

Try it, trust me.

 

The winners, and tied for #1.  Street Fighter II  (SNES), & Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 (Genesis)

 

Classic, vibrant, fantastic.  These games are simple button mashers with only two (common) rules..

  1. If you win the fight, you take a drink.
  2. If you lose the fight, you take a drink.

That’s really all you need.  Besides a lot of water and aspirin in the morning.  Good luck.

Make sure you don’t have work/school the next day.

The Jester.

 

*All images are property of their respective owners, and may be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google Image Search.*

*The author takes no responsibility in the actions/consequences of the readers based on what they do .  All games are to be used without alcohol.  If alcohol is to be used, please drink at your own risk, and pretty please be responsible.  And remember, always in moderation.*

 

Top 10 Tuesdays 3: You’ve Broken Your Arm.

Posted in 1980's, 1990's, Jeremy Dotson, Modern, NES, PS2, Retro, Video Game, XBox on December 9, 2010 by Divide By Zero

Okay, so if you’ve been following my advice for the Top 10 Tuesday things, and your arm is in a cast. I’d like to think that at least one of the following scenarios happened:

  1. You finally cheesed your girlfriend off enough to warrant some kind of malevolence from her.
  2. Something happened on Black Friday, like you got punched by a guy getting the last copy of Mario Galaxy 2.
  3. You fell deep into a Thanksgiving Day food-coma and when you landed on the ground, fractured something.
  4. You got so stressed out during exam week, that you decided to climb a tree to relax… and it ended badly.
  5. You actually did one of the things I said in the Mad G-Friend post.  That’ll get you hurt!

Thar’s right, one or all of the above happened to you, and now your arm is all gimped out.  Don’t worry though, there are still video games you can play while your arm recovers.  Before you play any video games though, make sure you get everyone who wants to sign your cast, to sign it, and please come up with a good story to tell to people.  “My girlfriend doesn’t want me to play ‘Call of Duty’ anymore.”  Isn’t a good response to “What Happened to your arm, Champ?”  So let’s get right on to it this week with:

The Top 10 Video Games to Play While Your Arm is in a Cast:

For the entirety of the list, I’m assuming that your dominant hand is going to be the one attached to the cast.  It usually happens that way, more often than not your dominant hand is your “go-to” hand, and ends up being on the broken arm.  If your leg was in a cast, you can play whatever video games you want.  Or go play a real life game of basketball, or whatever it is people that break their legs do.

#10.  Hold The Button  (Web)

This game is as simple as it gets.  You get online, type in http://www.holdthebutton.com, and after the advertisement, you click the button and hold it.  Just hold the button.  See how your time holds up against the competition.  It’s cool because you can even use the arm that’s in the cast!  You’re barely using a muscle, and it might take a while before you have to switch off hands, if that happens at all.  How many muscles does it take to hold down a mouse button?  Like, 2?  Good luck!

#9.  Worst Game Ever  (Web)


The Worst Game ever is really exactly what it claims to be.  Get on over to Adult Swim Games and check it out.  The only reason why it didn’t come in last is the fact that, unlike holdthebutton, this has characters.  I enjoy Master Shake & Meatwad every week on their show, so why wouldn’t I enjoy them in their very own video game?  Oh yeah, because this game is the worst game ever.  All you do is go right.  Just hold down the “right” arrow on your keyboard, and occasionally hit the space bar to jump over obstacles.  Give me a break man, this game is horrible, but you shouldn’t have let your girlfriend break your arm.

#8.  Snake  (It varies)

This game is a little trickier, and it may even require BOTH hands to play.  What else can I say, you’re a snake, you have to eat balls that are supposed to represent apples, I think.  You run around eating the apples, and each time you do, you grow a little longer.  Keep going and don’t run into the walls or your tail, and you win.  You can play this on your Atari 2600, there are a few web based programs for it, and if you still have your very first cell phone, the kind that came out in the year 2000 (Nokia), it’s on there.  That’s where I remember playing it.

#7.  Ultimate Board Game Collection (PS2)

This game is technically a video game, but you’d honestly be better off playing the games in real life.  Who doesn’t have a checker’s set lying around the house?  Or at least some paper and pencils to play tic-tac-toe?  I picked up this game, not even opened yet, with the case & manual (obviously) for $1.99 at one of the local antique/pawn shops.  I had seen where they began the selling price at $20, then a few months later marked it down to $15, then to $10, then to $5, then to $3.49, then finally to $1.99.  If I hadn’t have come in that day, they would probably still have this game.  Who buys these games?  When you want a video game, you want something that you can’t do in real life.. like fly a space ship, be a black-ops marine, get in submarine battles.. not play 3-Dimensional tic-tac-toe, or virtual mancala (whatever the hell that game is supposed to be), chess & checkers.  I know who buys these games… people who have gotten their arm broken by their girlfriend, because they play too many video games.  And me.  I see a $2 video game, and I’m all over it!

#6.  Pong  (It varies)

If you’ve ever played a video game in your life, you at least know of pong.  Maybe you haven’t played it, but you’ve heard of it.  You know it was the first successful game that basically launched a now billion dollar a year, world-wide industry.  Anyways, there are pong consoles out there (quite a few of them, actually), there are cartridges for the Atari consoles, there was a Dreamcast game released called “Atari 25th Anniversary Edition” which has pong on it, I’m sure you can find it online, or if you want to keep it cheap and old school, you should get yourself one of these:

I found one of these plug n’ play things at a yard sale for, I crap you not, a quarter.  It had batteries in it and everything.  It’s great, plug it into the tv, flip the switch, and you have 12 classic Atari games right there for you, and the controller looks, and even feels like the classic, recognizable Atari 2600 joysticks.  Like I said, it has 12 games.  Pong being one, and another being…

#6.  Breakout  (It varies)

Sometimes referred to as “Pong’s retarded little sideways cousin”, breakout too is an enjoyable game that requires minimal physical effort.  It’s very frustrating though.  You see, for those of you who haven’t played this game, you control that little red bar at the bottom.  You can move side to side.  The object is to make that ball bounce up to the top and clear a path so that it can reach the top and “Breakout”… of the… screen?  I guess?  Keep in mind this game came out in the late 1970’s, we had to use a lot of imagination to supplement graphics and plots and stuff, back then.

#4.  Galaga  (It varies)

Now we’re getting into some of the serious games.  Galaga has been a personal favorite of mine for over 20 years.  My cousin had it on NES while I was growing up, so I’d play all the time at her house.  If your dominant arm is broken (we’ll assume it’s your right arm, because the majority of the population is right handed), all you need to be able to do is press a button with it.  So if you can play “Hold the Button” with no discomfort, you can play this game.  Also, this game has been ported to many, many different consoles.  I see the game “Namco Museum” around a lot at the flea markets, and on eBay/Amazon.  That game is great, it has 5 classic games, one of them being Galaga, and it’ll only cost you somewhere around $5.  That game is even a cartridge for the Game Boy Advanced/Game Boy Advanced SP.  I bought 2 for $5 in that case.  Either way, in the game you use the joystick, or D-pad, or whatever with your left hand, and your right hand is just in charge of hitting one button.  ONE, button.  Just the fire button, there is no jump, there is no “move faster/run”, just fire.  That’s all you need to do.

#3.  World of Warcraft  (PC/Online)

As much as it pains me to say this; sometimes.. SOMETIMES, WoW is a good game.  If your arm is in a cast, you can definitely get some good video gaming in, and again, it requires only the most minimum amount of physical effort.  I am not a fan of this game, I have played it only a few times, and never have I ever had my own account.  But I do have a little brother.  That’s right, A1C Dotson, or my baby brother, Jay breaks the mold when it comes to WoW players.  Remember the South Park Episode of WoW?  Remember the “master player” that all the kids had to beat in order to play the game?  That’s a stereotype, and kind of a mean one at that.  But most stereotypes are rooted in truth, and in this case, it is (I’ve witnessed it first hand).  Jeremy Dotson is the exception to the rule that all WoW nerds are fat, awkward, and overall weird.  And like I said, this game is nice if your arm is in a cast.  Just don’t get too addicted.

#2.  Starcraft  (PC)

I think we all know and love this game.  Well, at least we all know this game.  Perfect if one or more of your extremities are stuck in a cast.  I liked playing this one, actually.  I haven’t played it much as of late, but it will always hold a special place in my heart.  This is another one my baby brother turned me onto, and is one of the first Christmas presents he bought me with his own money.  He was 9, I think?  It was a sweet gesture, and it gave us some time to play a game together that we both enjoyed.  It has a simplistic basis, and I’m sure playing on career/campaign, 1 player, you can zip through the levels pretty quickly.  The real challenge comes when you play against the other people.  And God help you if you sign onto a Korean or Japanese server, those people are wicked at this game.  Which brings me to…

The Winner, #1.  Starcraft II (PC/Online)

And here it is, the big mamma-jamma of RPG’s, Starcraft II.  It is light-years ahead of Starcraft 1, which isn’t a bad game, even now, 10+ years later.  This game is to RPS’s what Call of Duty Black Ops is FPS’s.  It is what Mario is to Luigi, it is what lasagna is to Garfield, it is what Halo 1 is to me.  It is the epitome of a great game you can play while having to sit around the house because your leg is in a cast.  Or arm.. or whatever.  Just a side note: there was an honorary holiday in Korea on the day this game was released because all the companies knew they would be hitting record numbers of people calling in sick.  That many Korean people can’t be wrong. Source.
Sorry about the arm,

The Jester.

*All images and videos are property of their respective owners and my be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google Image Search.  All videos obtained through Youtube search.*