Archive for the Transformers Category

Nerdy Monday 21: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)

Posted in 1980's, 2000's, Modern, movies, Nerdy Monday, Robots, Transformers on March 8, 2011 by Divide By Zero

Ok, so there are some (or a lot) of people out there that don’t enjoy Michael Bay’s sequel to his own Transformers installment.  I don’t understand why!

Have you seen it? It was only, awesome.

I don’t know why people have become so jaded by watching movies.  This film not only brought back a lot of the elements set up in the first film, grazed upon some of the characteristics of the old T.V. show/comic books, but added to the storyline.  The same way Batman Begins added to the Batman storyline.

It’s easy to point out the bad things about a film that changes what we know and love from our childhood, but let’s look at some of the good things:

  • Devistator.  The ginormous Constructicon (that’s nerd lingo for more than one Transformer combining to make one Autonomous Robot) at the end of the movie built on the old Constructicons.  Back in the 1980’s it blew our mind when there were 2 trucks, or a truck and a helicopter or 2 of whatever transformed to combine one big robot.  Remember that on Saturday mornings?  TWO OF THEM!?  WHAAAAAAT????!!1 *KABLOOEY* that’s when our heads exploded all over the T.V. screen.  And Devistator… what were there about a dozen (?) or so different pieces of construction equipment that formed him?  People thought that was “too unrealistic” to be in the movie.  Are.  You.  Serious?  Like Optimus Prime doing his thing is really going to happen, but Devistator… that’s WAY too far fetched.  Dorks.

It took a team of Cal Tech doctors and one surgeon on acid to engineer this toy.

  • Soundwave.  How awesome did he look when he was connecting to that satellite in outer-freakin’-space?!  The only complaint I have about Soundwave is that I don’t think he got enough screen time.  But the point is Soundwave used to be a cassette recorder.. now he’s hooking into government satellites and intercepting intel from all over the world.  That’s something new and fresh that probably wasn’t even conceivable back when we were watching Ravage come out of Soundwave’s chest as a cassette tape.  C’mon now!

Definitely not what we grew up with.

  • Sector 7.  I’m not sure about this one, but I’m pretty sure that Secotr 7 made it’s debut in Transformers (2007).  John Turturro’s character as one of the S7 agents was a little eccentric and was the main source of comic relief in that movie.  I am very glad that his character was brough back in Revenge of the Fallen (ROTF).  I know a lot of people were disappointed at that, but why?  He gave a lot of relevant information to the plot AND added the some comic relief to ROTF.  I’ve even heard rumors that Michael Bay has done away with this character.  A big pee-soaked thank you goes out to all of you fair weather Transformers fans who have nothing to do but complain.  You non-appreciative disappointment-bags!

He means business. Funny business.

  • Sam Witwicky containing all the knowledge of the All Spark.  In all my extensive research (read: about 5 minutes of Googling) I haven’t come across this happening before ROTF.  I think it was a cool twist.  A lot of people didn’t agree with this concept, but think about how much sense it makes.  Anyone who has had a high school science class SHOULD know that energy can never be created nor destroyed, it can only change forms.  Since the All Spark is “pure energy” as mentioned countless times throughout all forms of the Transformers, it can’t be destroyed, right?  Therefore, since Sam had so much physical contact with the All Spark in the 2007 movie.. as well as being the one that pushed it into Megatron’s chest to “destroy” it… the energy contained really had nowhere else to go but into Sam.  Not so far fetched now, is it, critics?

This kid holds all the information and energy of the universe. He looks like it, doesn't he?

Those are the main arguments I’ve read on the internet and heard from other movie goers.  There are dozens more, but I really don’t have the energy to go through everything.. this article would be 50 pages long.

The bottom line is that Transformers (2007) was a huge accomplishment in the Transformers Franchise.  Therefore ROTF had some pretty big shoes to fill.  I’m not saying that ROTF was better than the 2007 movie.  Nor am I saying it was better than the old show, or the comics.  But I tell you what, it wasn’t WORSE!  And with all of that “disappointment” ROTF was surrounded by, let’s look at the other movies that came out the same month ROTF was released:

  • Land of the Lost
  • My Life in Ruins
  • Tennessee
  • Imagine That
  • The Taking of Pelham 123
  • The Proposal
  • Year One
  • My Sister’s Keeper

Is anyone talking about those movies anymore?  Look on your DVD shelf, do you own any of these movies?  Who was even IN those movies?  Of all the movies on that list, I’ve only seen one.  One single movie: Pelham 123.  It was okay.  It didn’t hold a candle to “Michael Bay’s excretion called ‘ROTF'” though.

All in all, I can’t wait for the next installment to be released.  I can’t wait to see what else Michael Bay’s Transformers franchise adds to the storyline.

Quit whining about all the things that “don’t add up” in a movie, and appreciate it for what it is.

Pictured: most of the people complaining about ROTF.

See you at the concession stand.

The Jester.

 

*All images are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google Image Search.*

Top 10 Tuesdays 14: For Them Sick People Out There

Posted in 1980's, 1990's, 2000's, Dreamcast (Long Live the...!), Modern, N64, NES, PS2, Retro, Top 10 Tuesdays, Transformers on February 25, 2011 by Divide By Zero

It’s that time of year again.  Everyone at my day job either has been or is now sick.  Same thing goes for the people at my night job, my weekend job, everyone I tutor, and everyone I meet.  Except for me, of course.  My immune system is one of the parts of my body that is actually more awesome than I am.

Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to give you some suggestions as to how to spend the time off you’re inevitably going to take at the slightest tickle in your throat.  Therefore, let’s get right down to brass tax with:

The Top 10 Video Games To Play When You’re Sick

#10.  Virtua Cop  (Sega Saturn)


You’re already in a crappy mood.  You may as well try and play a crappy game on a crappy system.  Playing this game with a normal controller is horrible, and I’m guessing playing with a light gun controller isn’t very much better.  And finding a plot in this game is harder than finding a pulse a palm tree.  But it’s worth checking out.  And I think I got my copy for $1.00 including shipping.

#9.  Bubsy II  (Sega Genesis)


This is a silly, childish, “feel-good” kind of game that most people would consider a “kiddy-game” but it’s still awesome.  I could go on for pages and pages about all the different quirky little things involved with this game that are enjoyable.  But I don’t have time, because this is just a top 10 list.  Consider this one chicken soup for your video game itch.

#8.  Aladdin  (Sega Genesis)


My mom used to really get into this game, so i don’t know how well this one will work for everyone, but for me it’s a comfort game.  So if you miss your mommy, or she isn’t there for one reason or another, to take care of you, this is the game to play.

#7.  Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen  (PS2)


There is never a bad time to play this game.  Optimus Prime’s butt-kicking ability mixed with the other characters special moves that you get to play will have you feeling like you can take on the world again in no time!  Definitely worth checking out.. I think I paid about $6.00 for my copy, and it is well worth the investment!

#6.  Mario 64  (N64)


This is a great overall game that used to take weeks out of our respective schedules to beat.  Now you can get it done if you can manage to get 2, possibly 3 days off from work/school.  Plus it’s good to play this game to the point where you can beat it, if only to have it under your belt.

#5.  Speed Devils  (DC)


You can definitely beat this game if you aren’t sick enough to get more than one day off.  There’s a glitch you can use that will help you out.  The most expensive car is $200,000.  The one next to it in the showroom is $20,000.  Once you save up the 20 grand, look at the car that you can afford with it, then if you switch to the $200,000 car (I think it’s called the Mystere) and hit “A” to purchase it as quickly as possible before the new price shows up on the screen.  If you do it correctly, you buy the $200,000 car for 1/10th the price.  It’s also the fastest car that will ensure you win every race.  Check it out.  With or without the glitch it’s a fun and enjoyable game to play.  I think the Dreamcast in general is that way, and they all are very cheap, and as I’ve mentioned before, the games are practically free.  So considering what you pay for ir, the Dreamcast will probably give any collector the most bang for their buck.

#4.  Kid Chameleon  (Sega Genesis)


This is a really great game.  I think it’s one of the hidden gems in the Sega library.  It’s kind of tricky, and just a little bit weird.  I forget what the plot is, but there is one there.  They call him Kid Chameleon because you can run around and get different suits that change you into different things.  There’s one that turns you into Jason (from the Friday the 13th  movie franchise), there’s a Samurai suit, and my favorite (which you don’t get until about the 6th level) suit that turns you into a tank.  There’s 35 (?) I think different suits in all and there are about 5 different suits in each level.  It’s fun running around and just seeing what the suits can do.  It’s even more fun finding your favorite one and dominating the entire game with it!  It’s an average of $4.00 on eBay, or you can get it for the Nintendo Wii’s Virtual Console for 500 points (or $5.00).

#3.  Cubivore  (Game Cube)


I don’t know where to start with this one.  It’s cute, it’s crafty, it’s enjoyable, and it’s just great.  It’s easy to slip into a game like this and find yourself in a trance, trying to get farther and farther into it.  Look at this video, it’s long but it’ll give you a good feel for the game:

Great, right?  It’s a little different, and you can tell that this is not a cookie-cutter game.  That’s why I like it so much!  For just about every popular or trendy game out there you can name, I can retort with at least 10 games that are at least 90% the same.  How many games have you played like Cubivore?  One… and that’s only if you’ve played Cubivore.  It’s worth checking out, and it’s colorful, and a little complex.  At the very least, it’ll make your NyQuil trip pretty interesting.

#2.  Virtual Hydlyde  (Sega Saturn)


This game is friggin’ weird.  It’s perfect for playing while you’re under the weather.  It’s impossible to get bored with.  The map is randomly generated, and it’s so terrible it’s great.  It’s also so great it’s terrible.  You can Youtube some of the game play on this game.. but I won’t dare link it onto this article.  I have not only a moral, but an ethical problem with that.  It’s unspeakably horrible.  Playing this game while you’re ill will be best if you take lots of breaks to puke.  …because you’re sick.  Oh and because the game sucks too.

#1.  Dr. Mario  (NES)


This is a classic, simple, easy, feel-good game.  It’s not considered a “true Mario” game because there are no pipes, no raccoon tails, no fire flowers, no koopas, and no goombas.  It’s a tetris-esque knock off with Mario thrown in to boost the sales numbers.  It’s very worth it, and the best part is it’s beatable even if you’re sick as a dog.

There’s my rundown of how you should spend your sick time.  Anything else is a waste of time.  So instead of heading to the pharmacy aisle of your local grocery store, head to gamestop instead.

See you there.

The Jester.

*All images and videos are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google image search. All videos obtained through Youtube search.*

Nerdy Monday 20: Transformers (2007)

Posted in 1980's, 2000's, Family, Modern, movies, Retro, Robots, T.V. shows, Transformers on February 25, 2011 by Divide By Zero

I’ve been thinking about how to set up this nerdy Monday post for a while now.  I batted it around, chewed it up, all that jazz, but I think I’m just going to dive right in.

I’m going to be talking about the first Transformers move directed by Michael Bay.  Before the movie came out in 2007, the only other Transformers movie there was, was the full-length animated 1984 installment entitled Transformers: The Movie.

I remember the opening day of the movie.  I went to the midnight sneak preview of the movie here in town.  And let me just be clear about this, in my small corner of the world, movie theatres are never ever at risk of selling every seat in the house.  But this night, it was a packed house.  I had to get there more than an hour early to get a mediocre seat.  I don’t know how to explain it, but in the theatre that night, the air was electric.  Everyone was dressed up somehow in a Transformer’s tee-shirt, a few of them brought some action figures, one guy had boots on that looked like Optimus Prime’s feet!

I remember vividly the shock and awe, and the uncontrollable yelling and applause when Optimus first came on the screen.  I remember the same thing happening when all the transformers, and the 2 main characters of the movie gathered in that alley and all of the Transformers started changing into their robot-form.  It looked awesome, it looked detailed, and it looked like it could be real.  It could have been happening right in front of us in real life, and we (the audience)  couldn’t be more excited!

As I looked around the room, I noticed that everyone was right around my age.  I was born less than one year after the pilot episode of the Transformers aired.  So I literally grew up with all the characters from that show.  I wish I still had all of the toys, comic books, and VHS tapes I recorded the show onto.  It would be a treasure trove of awesome nostalgic memorabilia.  And we all (I know I was) had been waiting for this movie to be made for a long time.

That same feeling came back to me when that movie was released on DVD/Blu-Ray and put on the Wal-Mart shelves.  Again, I showed up at midnight, and waited eagerly for the stock boy to bring the palate jack out with the Transformers movie display on it.  I waited along side 2 or 3 dozen other people all wearing Transformers shirts.. and the guy with the Optimus boots was there too.  It was odd, I know, but it’s the truth.

Michael Bay is looked down upon by a few critics, but I think he did an awesome job with this movie.  He knew how sentimental the fan base was, and did not disappoint.  I don’t care that everyone says he has too many explosions in his movies.  Or how he has too many jump-cuts to different scenes, or the whole Armageddon fiasco he was made fun of for.  He took the Transformers and made something cool, even cooler.  Bay even received an award from the man who created the Transformers AND the CEO of Hasbro (the company that makes/licenses the Transformer toys) for being humble, noble, and staying true to the morals upheld By the Transformers.  Yes, he was that serious.  [If you bought the special edition DVD with the bonus features on it, you’d know that already].

So not only did this pretty much make Michael Bay a pop culture icon, as well as a household name, it launched Megan Fox’s career.

Thank you Transformers. And Michael Bay.

 

Sure she’s done some crappy movies in between the filming of the Transformers/Bay movie franchise.  Seriously, what was that whole Jennifer’s Body supposed to be?  But no one is watching her for.. well, I think we all know what people watch her movies for.

Shia Lebeouf is also in the movie, he’s the star, or something.  I don’t know, I think the people who did the voices of the robots should have been cast about Shia.  Don’t get me wrong, I like Shia.. I actually watched him back in the day when he was on the Disney Channel show, Even Stevens. I think he’s hilarious!  It just seemed a little off to me when he was cast as Sam Witwicky in Transformers, only because it’s a more dramatic role.  It was different at first, and he did an okay job.  I think he developed his character towards the end of the first movie.  He just seemed more comfortable in the role, and it showed.

Who knew this kid would grow into his nose and be the guy a new generation of Transformer fans would want to be.

Oh and he made out with Megan Fox!

Overall, I am very pleased with the way these movies are unfolding.  And the next one is being filmed in Washington D.C.!  That’s my old stomping grounds!  I was born and raised not too far from there.  It sucks that they had an on set accident with one of the BumbleBee cars:

But with all the money involved in this franchise, I’m sure they have more than one of everything.

This movie is overly satisfying, nostalgic, clever, and just plain old awesome.  It’s funny in the right spots, and very reminiscent of the old cartoons/comics.  The only thing that irked me a little bit, was that GM plugged an entire line of cars to be used for the movies.  I think they could have diversified the line up a little, just to make it more exciting.  But I have to give them credit for making BumbleBee a Camaro, because in the old cartoons he was a VW Beetle.  Or more commonly referred to as “the bug”.  I can see how that’s a cool play on words, but for real, no one today would think of BumbleBee as an intimidating “Guardian” alien robot as a Bug.

Pictured: Definitely not a badass intimidating Guardian alien robot with a heard of gold.

I can’t wait for the next one to come out.

Fun Fact #1:  Did you know the voice of Megatron was the same guy who played Agent Smith in the Matrix movies?

Fun Fact #2:  And the guy who did the voice of Jazz (The Pontiac Solstice) is the guy who played Eddie Winslow (Steve Urkel’s friend) in Family Matters?

That’s it for now, see you in the ticket line for the next installment.

The Jester.

 

*All images and videos are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws.  All images obtained through Google Search.  All images obtained through Youtube.com Search.*

 

Nerdy Monday 4: My Ode to a Forgotten Legend

Posted in 1980's, Nerdy Monday, Retro, Transformers on September 26, 2010 by Divide By Zero

Many people think I harp on the past too much when it comes to pop culture.  I’ve caught myself saying, on many occasions, “When I was your age, we did [insert 80’s activity here]!” or “Back in the 90’s, T.V. was actually good. We watched [insert 90’s show here]!”  Some of it may have been exaggerated in my mind a little bit, but my intentions are good.  I do believe that my generation had a lot more going for it than past generations, and I’d be willing to put money down, saying that it has more going for it than the generations since then.

The [Optimus] prime example that comes to mind are the toys and enjoyable television.  For this article, I’m going to focus on one t.v. show from my youth, but I wanted to touch on the toys we had first.  When I was growing up, I had Transformers.  Taking a toy designed after a Rubik’s cube and changing it from one toy to another, like a giant robot into a semi-tractor trailer, stimulates the part of the brain to teach itself to solve problems, don’t you agree?  What do kids have today?  Pokemon?  I don’t see the problem solving stimulation there.  That’s something to keep in mind when you’re talking to an 80’s kid like myself.

Anyways, on to what I want to talk about today.  Legends of the Hidden Temple.

With your host, Kirk Fogg.. and the popular one, Olmec

You can’t think of 1990’s Nickelodeon without thinking about Legends of the Hidden Temple.  Yeah, there were other Nick competition shows that I enjoyed.  There was Double Dare (the regular version, super sloppy, family, and 2000), Figure It Out!, Finders Keepers, Get the Picture, Make the Grade, G.U.T.S. of all varieties, Nickelodeon Arcade, Think Fast!, What Would You Do?, Nickelodeon SPLAT!, and You’re On!.  Needless to say, there were a lot of competition among the game shows offered by Nickelodeon back then.  My favorite though, was Legends of the Hidden Temple.  It appealed to me because I had been conditioned (by my toys, other t.v. shows, etc.) to solve problems.  That’s all this game show was about!  It was basically a competition to see who could solve the problems the fastest.  I remember thinking: “Okay, I have to get across this 30 foot pool of water without touching the water, there’s a rope here, what do I do?”  It combined physical ability with competitive spirit, and problem solving skills.

Not to mention the set was made out of sand-dusted awesomeness.

Here is a verbatim synopsis of the show from Wikipedia, which is entirely accurate, and verified by yours truly: “The show incorporated physical stunts, as well as questions based on topics related to history, mythology, and geography. Each episode featured six teams of two children (one boy and one girl) competing for prizes. Teams competed in various elimination contests until one team remained, who then earned the right to go through “the Hidden Temple” and retrieve a historical artifact to win a grand prize.”

That’s it in a nutshell.  The Hidden Temple, or the final obstacle was always the most fun to watch.  The contestants had to go through the maze like temple, and use the keys they won in each event leading up to this finale.  The more keys they earned, the easier it was for them to get through the Hidden Temple.

I dreamed more than once about getting into the Hidden Temple.  There used to be mummies and other guys that would jump out at random and take their keys, or make them lose their turn.  I remember thinking to myself: “Man, I’m so much faster than those kids, I’d run under those guys’ legs, or kick them in the shin, or something!”  I’d so totally win.  It would be so totally awesome.

"I punched 3 guys in the throat to get here."

Everything about this show was fantastic.  Everything was enjoyable.  Yet, the show barely lasted 3 seasons.  Why, you ask?  Let’s take a look at a list of prizes they ended up giving away for people who won 3-4 competitions, and mastered the final hidden temple maze to get all of the glory:

  • Book WITH Bookmark
  • Shampoo and Conditioner
  • A PushPop & box of Nerds
  • A disposable camera
  • Some weird key chain thing
  • A Fashion Bug Gift Certificate
  • Video Game Controllers (but no game system)
  • A tennis racket (no balls or net included)
  • Hush Puppies brand shoes

Yeah, that would make ANYONE want to go on a competitive show.  Or a 7-11.  It’s okay though, they also offered trips and a chance to go to Space Camp.  I guess in the end, that’s pretty cool.  I would have loved to go to space camp when I was that age.  There I go again, living in the 80’s.  I’m going to end this here before I get to nostalgic and weepy, and start having flashbacks of watching Operation Desert Storm on T.V..  Thank you all for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it.  If I made any typos or mistakes or anything, be sure to do the respectful thing and mock me in the comments section.  Happy Nerdery.