I wrote this letter probably 2 years ago, and it seems more appropriate than ever to post it now, what with all the turmoil over in Israel and with all the crap about missing planes. I don’t agree with some of it, and other parts of what’s going on I’ll admit I know nothing about. But I do have friends/family friends/relatives in the military and they don’t deserve the flack they get for following orders. Anyways, here it is:
There are millions of letters out there addressed to our soldiers. And for some reason, I feel the need to add one more. I want to make sure that we all understand, that even if you don’t support the cause, support our troops.
This letter is for our military; past, future,
A while ago, I read on my brother’s [USAF A1C] facebook page a quote that I can’t forget. It read “Land of the free, because of the brave.” That quote could not have summed everything about this country up more perfectly. I admire our military men/women, and only wish I had the honor.. to do what they do each and every day. Thank you.
This letter goes out to every soldier who has spent a holiday or birthday away from home. It goes out to those who have gone overseas for Uncle Sam; for those who have seen the look in their childrens eyes when they leave. And for the gleam in those same childrens eyes when the soldiers return.
This letter is for the Marines who keep a picture of their loved ones in a pocket close to their heart, and wonder if they’ll ever see them again every time they clean their weapon. For the Airmen, Seamen, and Army personnell who have a brother, a sister, a mother and father.
This letter is for the soldiers who caught Osama. For the ones who caught Sadam. The ones who insured our freedom, once again. This is also for the ones who were there giving back-up. I don’t care if you were loading things on a ship, or fuelling up a jet, I thank you. No wait a second. WE- The United States- thank you.
This letter is for the batallion that moved in yesterday. The one no one has heard from. We don’t know whether they will live or die. We thank you.
This is for the sniper who is waiting on the hilltop. It’s been a week since he’s had any food or water. He’s staying his post, “just doing his job”. We thank you.
This is for any veteran who has come back from war and been denied a job, or a check, or a place to live, or a thank you. We thank you.
This is for any damn veteran who has lost a limb, or a piece of their spirit, or a part of their mind somewhere outside of the United States, in order to protect it. Thank you.
This is for the brotherhood, the comraderie, and the overall greatness that makes our military what it is. It’s also for [and I’m quoting/paraphrasing from someone else here] everyone who has written a check out to the People of the United States of America for the amount of “..Up to/including my life.” Sincerely. From the deepest, most patriotic part of my heart. Thank you. God Bless You, and we wouldn’t survive without you. You soldiers are the blood running through this countrys body.
And to anyone brave enough to go to Boot Camp, Basic Training, or whatever else, sign your life over – for however long – to the government, and say “Whatever you got, bring it on!”
But most of all, this letter is for the families of those soldiers, for letting them go out there and fight for us. We thank you, too.
I apologize for not posting articles in a timely manner as I should have been doing. But I am not skipping any, I am sticking to the schedule I had made up months ago. Except for this article, I changes what it was going to be. A number of weeks ago, I posted an article complaining about people who are trying to rip other people off on craigslist. I didn’t think I’d have a lot of responses to it, but people in my area (and across the nation) have been flooding my inbox with complaints about my.. complaint. I think it’s because I sometimes promote my blog on the local news pages of Craigslis *snicker*, as well as have it featured on tricities.com. So everyone out there in my locale who is a craigslist user can read it. Let’s see what they had to say:
“ur such a whiney complainey moron! i hope you were one of the people from clist that i ripped off in kingsport!” ~Mandy from Johnson City
Well, Mandy.. where do I begin? I wasn’t whining, at least if I were I’d be able to spell the word “whiny” when describing myself. And I wouldn’t have to make up words like “complainey”, then I’d be a moron. And notice how she says: “one of the people…I ripped off”. So she was definitely one of the people I was trying to lecture to in my last post. Who’s next?
“why are you such a b**** dude? its just ppl trying to make a buck.” ~Dave from Asheville
I agree, dude. But buyer beware, I think that if people were more interested and knowledgeable of the value of what they’re trying to acquire was, then stuff like this wouldn’t happen. That was one of my intentions of writing my post (hereafter referred to as The Letter), to bring awareness.
“But I have over 55 games that im seling with my ps2, that makes it worth at least $150 moer!” ~Toad from Abingdon
Negative, Ghost Rider. Head to GameStop and see how much they give you for your “over 55 games” (read: 56 games). You would be extremely lucky to walk out of there with 60 extra dollars, depending on your collection. Asking more than double that is just stupid. Like your face.
“just bc u’ve been burned b4 on the clist doesnt mean ereyone is gettin burned” ~Byrne from Johnson City
How do you use an apostrophe in (not even really) a word like “u’ve” but you don’t in “doesn’t”. Come on man, step your grammar and punctuation up. And this is the second time people have called it “the clist”. What is a clist? Do you want to slang the word “Craigslist”? Then there has to be a hyphen in there. The C-List. I can see that. But poor rhetoric aside, Mr. Byrne does have a point. Just because one person gets burned, doesn’t mean everyone is out to burn someone (Mandy). I am fortunate enough to not have been burned on Craigslist yet. Although, I have only made one purchase off of it.
“u need to kwit wit all dis bull**** man what give u da rite to preach like you now sumthin? i do all my business on craig list and i nevur rip no bady off” ~Phil from Damascus
Don’t send your kids to school in Damascus.
All I was trying to say to everyone is that their old video games are not worth what they think they are. There’s no way you’re going to trade an original XBox for a PS3, even if you have all the games and extras ever made for it. If you do, give me that persons contact info, I have a few XBox’s I’m trying to get rid of.
There are many many more e-mails I could post up here, but I don’t see any point in it. I really wasn’t trying to stir the pot of the online Craigslist community. Just seriously think about a trade, or a purchase before you buy from someone online. I know it’s been said about a trillion times. It should be common sense by now, but still people get tricked into every kind of scam. It saddens me a little bit.
If You’re like me, there’s nothing better than coming home from work, getting a hot shower, something good to eat, kicking your feet up, and flipping on the tube just in time for your favorite shows to come on. There are a million different T.V. shows out there, but I’m going to count down my favorite 10 non-animated T.V. shows. Your list may differ a little bit, but when your blog grows up big and strong like mine, you can go ahead and write your own list.
#10. Breaking Bad
This show is just awesome. Malcom in the Middle’s dad and some other little punk kid start making a ton of bank by cooking crystal meth. There are all kinds of twists and turns, and it just shows you what a slippery slope dealing drugs is. There are all kinds of close calls, and it doesn’t help that the main guy’s brother-in-law is a head honcho in the DEA. It’s full of drama, and 95% of the time will keep you on the edge of your seat. Give it a watch.
#9. Pawn Stars
I absolutely love, love, love the History Channel. Before you can say anything to the effect of “But Jester, this isn’t a real history show!” let me explain something. Yes, there are a lot of documentaries on the History Channel that I watch. The rise and fall of the Roman Empire, Nazi Secrets and the Occult, anything on the Civil War or WWI always catch my interest. But rarely do they have a series of documentaries that will catch (and hold) my interest. Pawn Stars is a break from all of that, which has entertaining characters and scenarios, and also offers a little bit of history of its own. I know this isn’t your average pawn shop. I grew up in Northern Virginia, and there were pawn shops a plenty. There was one man who lived across the street from one of my best friends at the time who owned 3 pawn shops. This man had more awesome cars than he knew what to do with. He had 2 Shelby Cobras that he competitively raced, an old mustang that had toeasily be worth 100 grand, I saw a few Corvettes (new and vintage) in his driveway a time or two, and I’m pretty sure there was a yellow Ferrari there for a little while. So the pawn business must have been pretty good to him. But I’ve been inside 2 of his shops, and it was mostly used electronics, jewelry, archery bows, and modern pistols and hunting rifles. He had a small section of car stereos and heavy duty tools, but there wasn’t much more than that. The Pawn Stars make me want to go to Vegas and buy something out of their shop just to say I’ve been there. Also, I like the idea of becoming a celebrity (however small) over your own family business, it’s a great sign of success. Another perfect example of that is American Choppers. Anyways, I love this show because the information you learn about each individual piece that comes into the shop. Did you know that Evil Kinevel’s first motorcycle was a Harley that he stole when he was 13? Pawn Stars taught me that.
#8. House
I used to love watching medical dramas with my father. I’d wake up at all hours of the afternoon and he’d be watching Forensic Files, Dr. G: Medical Examiner, or anything on Discovery Health. I turned my dad onto watching House and he made it a point to start watching that show whenever it came on. He loved it, so maybe this one is more of a comfort blanket for me. In either case though, the cast is awesome, the plot is very detailed and finely tuned, and the characters are very vivid with a detailed past that shines through in every episode. It’s rare to have all of that in one show. PLUS(!) they play marathons of house on USA every week or so (at least a couple of times a month). A very enjoyable show with just enough comic relief to call itself a drama without it being solely run on the Lifetime Network.
#7. Everybody Loves Raymond
Some people might say this show is overplayed, old, stale, or lifeless. I say the exact opposite. I am a little biased though, because this was my fathers favorite show. he never missed an episode, even if it came on Nick at Nite at 3am. That’s how much he loved it. So this is definitely a safety blanket for me, I feel closer to him whenever I watch an episode. I don’t think I have to explain the synopsis or characters to anyone out there because I’m pretty sure everyone in the world has seen at least one episode. But here goes anyways: it portrays a borderline dysfunctional family with original characters and an amazing cast. Seriously, have you seen Peter Boyle alongside Gene Wilder in the old black and white movie Young frankenstein? Have you read the cookbook/partial autobiography written by Doris Roberts entitled Are you hungry, Dear? The cast is amazing and those two people are very accurate in portraying the stereotypical “crazy parents” that you’re always embarrassed of growing up. You know the kind, the parents you don’t want your friends to meet because “they’re just so weeeeeird”. It’s great.
#6. Two and a Half Men
I like this show because it’s kind of like watching a PG version of Charlie Sheen be himself. And who doesn’t really want to see what one of the biggest non-rockstar party animals of our generation is like? The mom is hilarious, as is the neurotic brother, Alan. Here’s a little known fact, Jon Cryer played a really weird character (I believe it was the son of Lex Luthor) in the movie Superman IV. He also won an Emmy over Neil Patrick Harris’ performance in How I Met Your Mother, so he must be doing something right. The only complaint I have for this show is that the little kid playing Jake has progressively gotten less and less funny as he’s gotten older. I know for this show, everyone involved has been at the mercy of Charlie Sheens personal life and reputation, and I hope for the shows sake that they find a replacement for Sheen and let everyone keep their job.
#5. Scrubs
Here’s another show that everyone says is overplayed. But I think it was hilarious from the first season, to the last. It sucks that it was canceled.. twice for that matter. But it truly was an entertaining show. It launched Zach Braffs career as an actor, director, and if I’m not mistaken, as a writer. It made Donald Faison (the black guy) known for something more than the movie Clueless. It also made a lot of guys develop a TV crush on Sarah Chalke, the multi-talented, multi-lingual, and mega-hott actress. Here’s something interesting, Neill Flynn, the Janitor is a Bradley University Alumni. Bradley is where I spent my first 3 years of college. A very enjoyable show, and worth multiple viewings. It also inspired a spin-off where they got almost the entire cast back together and it was called: Scrubs Med School. I think that ultimately turned out to be a flop though.
POST SCRIPT: My apologies. Scrubs Med School was the unofficial title of the ninth and final season of scrubs, it was not a spin-off.
#4. Frasier
This is my favorite and undoubtedly the most popular spin-off of Cheers. It was definitely the most successful. I believe this is the oldest show on my list, and is only one of 3 that is solely in syndication. I just love the way Kelsey Grammer is hilariously pompus, and his voice makes his on screen radio personality eerily believable. I also love the back and forth Frasier has with his brother Niles, and his housekeeper Daphne (who is now on Hot in Cleveland with Betty White). My favorite character of all though has got to be John Mahoney as the father of Frasier and Niles, Marty Crane. The casting for this show was nothing less than outstanding. If you’ve never watched an episode, watch one. I’d be willing to wager that it will soon become one of your guilty pleasures, as it has mine.
#3. The Big Bang Theory
This is the modern day Frasier for a younger audience. Each one of the main 4 guys does an outstanding job at their role. All of them, at least once an episode, but usually more, get a really big laugh in with a quotable quote. Overall it is very enjoyable and I can’t wait for it to come on every Thursday night!
#2. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
This show is truly a rags to riches story. All of the main characters are the creators of the show. None of them had any previous Hollywood experience and now the show is in its 6th or 7th season! And the main guys (Mac, Charlie and Dennis) are writers, producers, and directors. Not to mention they star in their own show. Hilarity ensues with everything they do. It’s a little crude or raunchy, and it’s really not for everyone, but I can’t get enough of it. It’s definitely not for the whole family, so don’t go inviting your mom to watch the DVDs with you. And it’s perfect because the guys have really short attention spans, can’t stay focused on anything for very long, and everything they do starts out with good intentions but ends up in a horrible mess. Life is a slippery slope, and this show puts the exclamation point at the end of that statement.
The Winner, and #1. How I Met Your mother
This show is truly enjoyable from the pilot episode all the way up until the most recent one. I had never watched this show, but was strolling through best buy one day and bought the first season of it on DVD because it was on sale for very cheap. After that, I had to get every season the day it came out. This is a show you can watch with your mom, or brother, or anyone really. There are some awesome jokes, and running gags, as well as different subplots in each episode that tie in with something that happened in a previous season. The producers and directors do a fantastic job of bringing everything full circle in a timely manner. The main characters name is Ted, but Neil Patrick Harris’ role of Barney steals the show. Every. Time! did you know he got that role because of his appearance in Harold and Kumar go to White Castle? That’s how it happened.
See you on the couch from 8-10 most weeknights.
The Jester.
*All images are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws. All images obtained through Google Image Search.*
Did you finish your homework? I hope you did, otherwise I’m about to make a bunch of really funny things, less funny by telling them to you second-hand. It is my conjecture that EuroTrip, which I will [obviously] get more into detail about, in a minute, might be the funniest movie… possibly of all time. Here are 12 reasons why:
#12. Burt, the younger brother.
Ever at the ready with his video camera, or the record button, this weirdly funny little brat has quips at the right moments, witty remarks, and just the right combination of cockyness/intelligence/attitude to make him one of the most underrated characters of all time. I think he had less than 5 minutes of actual screen time, and there weren’t even any cut scenes with him in the bonus features of my DVD. BUT[!] if it weren’t for that little bastard going through his big brother –Scotty’s– e-mail, there would have been no reason for the whole movie to happen. Burt is the one who pointed out to Scotty that his German pen-pal was actually female.. and a very attractive one at that. Thus; no Burt, no movie. It’s sad in a way, really.
11. Matt Damon as an extra
Matt Damon, the only A-lister to be in this movie, and he gets about 30 seconds of screen time total. It’s pretty cool to see all these other talented yet unknown actors upstage Good Will Hunting. Mr. Damon plays sort of a pivotal role in the film as he is credited with being the guy Scotty’s girlfriend (pictured above with Damon) cheated on him with. I don’t know why Scotty, the main character got so upset. There are tons of girls out there that qould leave their boyfriend/fiance/husband/baby’s daddy for Matt Damon. Damon also is credited (on screen) with coming up with one of the jokes that carries throughout the entire movie, which is…
10. Scotty Doesn’t Know (song title)
I should mention here that when this movie was brand new, before iTunes was popular or anything, I went out and bought the entire soundtrack to this movie on CD. It was just that good. But there is one catch to that, the song Scotty Doesn’t Know was by far the most popular song on there, and everyone in my high-school knew all the words to it. It would play at parties, school events, study-sessions, or any other place that warranted music in the background. It was (and is) just an awesome song that is very, very catchy. Whoever wrote that for the movie deserves a Grammy. Or an Oscar for best music in the history of ever.
9. “Mike”
She’s really the entire reason for the movie altogether. Her name is pronounced “Mee-Kah”. Not Mike. Even though it’s spelled “Mike”. Man, Germans are weird. The only disturbing part of her is that there is an incestuous reference between her and her cousin Jan–That’s a guys name–at one point, but it ends up being a day-nightmare (daymare?) imagined by Scotty while he’s on his way to see her. I didn’t catch that until about the 14th time I watched it, and I wish I never had realized it.
8. The Hitler Boy
I can’t even explain this one to you. Supposedly this is Mike’s little brother, and he’s in the background doing… Hitler stuff. Hilarious. Let’s watch!
Everything they were talking about in that scene had everything to do with the plot, but no one in the movie theatre I saw this movie at heard it… we were all too busy laughing so hard we were crying. Good stuff.
7. The Infamous Robot Fight
I’m pretty sure for most of the people out there reading this, if you hadn’t seen the movie, you’ve already seen this scene. It’s been floating around Youtube since Youtube was invented. I know I’ve received it in a few chain e-mails. But it’s worth multiple viewings:
Best. Robot. Fight scene. EVER!!!!1
6. Michelle Trachtenberg
Remember her?
Some of the younger kids out there solely know her from this movie. Others remember her when she starred alongside Rosie O’Donnell in the Nickelodeon film Harriet the Spy. That’s right, she was Harriet, and she was a spy. She was also Nona F. Mecklenberg in the insanely popular Nickelodeon kids show The Adventures of Pete & Pete. Side note: she’s hott. She’s funny, she’s pretty, and she does a great job in this movie. Not to mention she is one of the reasons why everything gets wrapped up by the end of it, ensuring us that we won’t be disappointed by a sequel to this awesomtacular movie. That’s right, I had to make up a word to describe it.
5. The Creepy Foreign guy on the Train.
That guy, to me, is more terrifying than any of the foreign dudes in the Hostel movies. I would hate to be touched the way he touches people. It makes my skin crawl. None the less, he played a randomly funny role in EuroTrip. Just when you think there are no more hi-jinks or shenanigans that can happen to this rag-tag bunch of American travelers. One of them almost gets molested on the train in every tunnel they go through. By this guy. Look at him. That’s a rapists mustache if I’ve ever seen one.
4. “Worst Twins Ever”.
Another running joke in this movie is the fact that these twins don’t know a whole lot about each other, are completely different, and just overall… are the worst twins ever. At the beginning of the movie, they’re all at a graduation party, and the guy (Jamie) get’s the girl (Jenny) a Gin & Tonic. To which Jenny replies: “Why did you get me a Gin & Tonic? I hate gin.” A few other things happen throughout the movie, and they end up getting drunk at a bar towards the end and making out with one another by mistake. Worst twins ever? I’d say they’re high in the running for it.
3. The David Hasselhoff Cameo.
For some reason, David Hasselhoff is famous all over the world for more than just Baywatch and Knight Rider. Did you know that he has more than 5,000 hours of screen time for his entire career? That’s ridiculous. Also, the Germans especially love him for his musical ability. And randomly, as Scotty is daydreaming about his German pen-pal Mike, a German song appears in his fantasy. And it’s sung by The Hoff. Look at the picture, that’s him in the upper right hand corner, in the little thought bubble. Is there nothing that man can’t do?
2. Club Vandersexxxxxx.
There’s really nothing I can say about this scene. You just have to watch it, and as much as I’d like to put the clip up here on my site, I think it’s a little more risque than what I want to have associated with this site. Get the movie, rent it if you have to, or netflix it, either way you won’t be disappointed when this scene rolls around. Also, Lucy Lawless plays the Madam of a brothel. For the younger readers out there, she was Xena: Warrior Princess.
1. Vinnie Jones!
People overseas will know this man. Most Americans don’t. Let me show you:
...Would YOU mess with him?
Most Americans know him as the main “soccer hooligan” from EuroTrip, or the skinhead from Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, or the skinhead from Snatch, or the British guy from any of a number of movies. But I want everyone to know that before he was an actor, he was a futbol player. Exhibit Awesome:
I could write an entire post on just this one picture. There’s Vinnie Jones, about to insert a flying kick straight to the other guys face the moment he lands. This is also a charity game by the way. Read that again. This is a CHARITY game, and Mr. Jones up there is playing for keeps! A friend of mine who is a former Londoner, told me that Vinnie Jones used to work for the British Underground [Similar to the Mafia in America]. He actually helped re-write the scripts to the movies he was in. Remember when he was slamming that one fat guys head in a car door? He’s done it for real. My friend told me also, that there was an interview on TV a few years back of another player in the national futbol league. During which, he explained that the most intimidating player in the entire league was our own Vinnie Jones. During the interview he said the first time he had ever met Mr. Jones, his team was about to do a corner kick, and Vinnie faced him and said: “If you even move towards that futbol, I will break your fucking legs.” So the guy…. quite obviously…. turned into a statue, and went on to further explain: “If he told me to pick it up and put it in my own net, I would have!” This dude rocks. He rocks at life, and he rocks at movies, especially this movie. He is also another reason why EuroTrip gets all wrapped up at the end. You have to just watch it. Just go ahead and watch it if you haven’t already! Haven’t I given you enough reasons to?
This isn’t going to be about the creepy predators or anything like that. And I’m sure it’s going on around the web, not just locally.. but I’ve dealt locally with Craigslist users and most of the time I end up bailing out on the deal 3 e-mails into the negotiations.
Specifically the video games section of the Tri-Cities Craigslist sellers. This goes out to all of you:
No one is going to buy your Nintendo DS for $150 when the PSP just dropped to $129.99 (or even $128.77 at wal-mart).
No one is going to trade you their Wii for a PS2, or an Original XBox.. I don’t care how many games you have with them.
Seriously, you need to go to GameStop, and see how much they would give you for your games.. you’re not going to get much more for your 10 year old games than what they have to offer.. unless it’s a really rare game.
Trading a PS3 for an XBox 360, I can see.. that makes sense. Trading your “PS2 EXCELENT [sic] COND. WITH OEVR [sic] 60 GAMES 4 CONTROLER [sic] PLUS XTRAS! [sic] WTT FOR XBOX 360 OR PS3” <– are you kidding me, guy from Kingsport? First of all you can’t spell, so you have to lay off the video games for a bit anyways. Second of all.. go to GameStop, look at how much you’re going to get for all of that.. $75.00 if you’re lucky? And 360s/PS3s retail for between $150-$225 (read: 2 or 3 times what your crap is worth). Really? You know better than that.
Just because your games are “BRAND NEW” or “SLIGHTLY USED” they are not new. Even if they are still wrapped in plastic, they are used. Example: you buy a new car, and drive it off the lot and try to sell it online as “new” just because you bought it new, and you didn’t take the paper covers off the floor mats… are you going to get what you paid for it? No. Same thing with your video games.
Seriously, don’t try to take advantage of other people. Quit trying to rip them off. Video games are supposed to be fun.. don’t take that away from people! I thought that living in the Tri-Cities, a more tightly-knit, friendlier community people wouldn’t do this to each other. Let’s stop the craziness and be a little more non-rippy-offy to each other.
Ok, so there are some (or a lot) of people out there that don’t enjoy Michael Bay’s sequel to his own Transformers installment. I don’t understand why!
Have you seen it? It was only, awesome.
I don’t know why people have become so jaded by watching movies. This film not only brought back a lot of the elements set up in the first film, grazed upon some of the characteristics of the old T.V. show/comic books, but added to the storyline. The same way Batman Begins added to the Batman storyline.
It’s easy to point out the bad things about a film that changes what we know and love from our childhood, but let’s look at some of the good things:
Devistator. The ginormous Constructicon (that’s nerd lingo for more than one Transformer combining to make one Autonomous Robot) at the end of the movie built on the old Constructicons. Back in the 1980’s it blew our mind when there were 2 trucks, or a truck and a helicopter or 2 of whatever transformed to combine one big robot. Remember that on Saturday mornings? TWO OF THEM!? WHAAAAAAT????!!1 *KABLOOEY* that’s when our heads exploded all over the T.V. screen. And Devistator… what were there about a dozen (?) or so different pieces of construction equipment that formed him? People thought that was “too unrealistic” to be in the movie. Are. You. Serious? Like Optimus Prime doing his thing is really going to happen, but Devistator… that’s WAY too far fetched. Dorks.
It took a team of Cal Tech doctors and one surgeon on acid to engineer this toy.
Soundwave. How awesome did he look when he was connecting to that satellite in outer-freakin’-space?! The only complaint I have about Soundwave is that I don’t think he got enough screen time. But the point is Soundwave used to be a cassette recorder.. now he’s hooking into government satellites and intercepting intel from all over the world. That’s something new and fresh that probably wasn’t even conceivable back when we were watching Ravage come out of Soundwave’s chest as a cassette tape. C’mon now!
Definitely not what we grew up with.
Sector 7. I’m not sure about this one, but I’m pretty sure that Secotr 7 made it’s debut in Transformers (2007). John Turturro’s character as one of the S7 agents was a little eccentric and was the main source of comic relief in that movie. I am very glad that his character was brough back in Revenge of the Fallen (ROTF). I know a lot of people were disappointed at that, but why? He gave a lot of relevant information to the plot AND added the some comic relief to ROTF. I’ve even heard rumors that Michael Bay has done away with this character. A big pee-soaked thank you goes out to all of you fair weather Transformers fans who have nothing to do but complain. You non-appreciative disappointment-bags!
He means business. Funny business.
Sam Witwicky containing all the knowledge of the All Spark. In all my extensive research (read: about 5 minutes of Googling) I haven’t come across this happening before ROTF. I think it was a cool twist. A lot of people didn’t agree with this concept, but think about how much sense it makes. Anyone who has had a high school science class SHOULD know that energy can never be created nor destroyed, it can only change forms. Since the All Spark is “pure energy” as mentioned countless times throughout all forms of the Transformers, it can’t be destroyed, right? Therefore, since Sam had so much physical contact with the All Spark in the 2007 movie.. as well as being the one that pushed it into Megatron’s chest to “destroy” it… the energy contained really had nowhere else to go but into Sam. Not so far fetched now, is it, critics?
This kid holds all the information and energy of the universe. He looks like it, doesn't he?
Those are the main arguments I’ve read on the internet and heard from other movie goers. There are dozens more, but I really don’t have the energy to go through everything.. this article would be 50 pages long.
The bottom line is that Transformers (2007) was a huge accomplishment in the Transformers Franchise. Therefore ROTF had some pretty big shoes to fill. I’m not saying that ROTF was better than the 2007 movie. Nor am I saying it was better than the old show, or the comics. But I tell you what, it wasn’t WORSE! And with all of that “disappointment” ROTF was surrounded by, let’s look at the other movies that came out the same month ROTF was released:
Land of the Lost
My Life in Ruins
Tennessee
Imagine That
The Taking of Pelham 123
The Proposal
Year One
My Sister’s Keeper
Is anyone talking about those movies anymore? Look on your DVD shelf, do you own any of these movies? Who was even IN those movies? Of all the movies on that list, I’ve only seen one. One single movie: Pelham 123. It was okay. It didn’t hold a candle to “Michael Bay’s excretion called ‘ROTF'” though.
All in all, I can’t wait for the next installment to be released. I can’t wait to see what else Michael Bay’s Transformers franchise adds to the storyline.
Quit whining about all the things that “don’t add up” in a movie, and appreciate it for what it is.
Pictured: most of the people complaining about ROTF.
See you at the concession stand.
The Jester.
*All images are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws. All images obtained through Google Image Search.*
It’s that time of year again. Everyone at my day job either has been or is now sick. Same thing goes for the people at my night job, my weekend job, everyone I tutor, and everyone I meet. Except for me, of course. My immune system is one of the parts of my body that is actually more awesome than I am.
Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to give you some suggestions as to how to spend the time off you’re inevitably going to take at the slightest tickle in your throat. Therefore, let’s get right down to brass tax with:
The Top 10 Video Games To Play When You’re Sick
#10. Virtua Cop (Sega Saturn)
You’re already in a crappy mood. You may as well try and play a crappy game on a crappy system. Playing this game with a normal controller is horrible, and I’m guessing playing with a light gun controller isn’t very much better. And finding a plot in this game is harder than finding a pulse a palm tree. But it’s worth checking out. And I think I got my copy for $1.00 including shipping.
#9. Bubsy II (Sega Genesis)
This is a silly, childish, “feel-good” kind of game that most people would consider a “kiddy-game” but it’s still awesome. I could go on for pages and pages about all the different quirky little things involved with this game that are enjoyable. But I don’t have time, because this is just a top 10 list. Consider this one chicken soup for your video game itch.
#8. Aladdin (Sega Genesis)
My mom used to really get into this game, so i don’t know how well this one will work for everyone, but for me it’s a comfort game. So if you miss your mommy, or she isn’t there for one reason or another, to take care of you, this is the game to play.
#7. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (PS2)
There is never a bad time to play this game. Optimus Prime’s butt-kicking ability mixed with the other characters special moves that you get to play will have you feeling like you can take on the world again in no time! Definitely worth checking out.. I think I paid about $6.00 for my copy, and it is well worth the investment!
#6. Mario 64 (N64)
This is a great overall game that used to take weeks out of our respective schedules to beat. Now you can get it done if you can manage to get 2, possibly 3 days off from work/school. Plus it’s good to play this game to the point where you can beat it, if only to have it under your belt.
#5. Speed Devils (DC)
You can definitely beat this game if you aren’t sick enough to get more than one day off. There’s a glitch you can use that will help you out. The most expensive car is $200,000. The one next to it in the showroom is $20,000. Once you save up the 20 grand, look at the car that you can afford with it, then if you switch to the $200,000 car (I think it’s called the Mystere) and hit “A” to purchase it as quickly as possible before the new price shows up on the screen. If you do it correctly, you buy the $200,000 car for 1/10th the price. It’s also the fastest car that will ensure you win every race. Check it out. With or without the glitch it’s a fun and enjoyable game to play. I think the Dreamcast in general is that way, and they all are very cheap, and as I’ve mentioned before, the games are practically free. So considering what you pay for ir, the Dreamcast will probably give any collector the most bang for their buck.
#4. Kid Chameleon (Sega Genesis)
This is a really great game. I think it’s one of the hidden gems in the Sega library. It’s kind of tricky, and just a little bit weird. I forget what the plot is, but there is one there. They call him Kid Chameleon because you can run around and get different suits that change you into different things. There’s one that turns you into Jason (from the Friday the 13th movie franchise), there’s a Samurai suit, and my favorite (which you don’t get until about the 6th level) suit that turns you into a tank. There’s 35 (?) I think different suits in all and there are about 5 different suits in each level. It’s fun running around and just seeing what the suits can do. It’s even more fun finding your favorite one and dominating the entire game with it! It’s an average of $4.00 on eBay, or you can get it for the Nintendo Wii’s Virtual Console for 500 points (or $5.00).
#3. Cubivore (Game Cube)
I don’t know where to start with this one. It’s cute, it’s crafty, it’s enjoyable, and it’s just great. It’s easy to slip into a game like this and find yourself in a trance, trying to get farther and farther into it. Look at this video, it’s long but it’ll give you a good feel for the game:
Great, right? It’s a little different, and you can tell that this is not a cookie-cutter game. That’s why I like it so much! For just about every popular or trendy game out there you can name, I can retort with at least 10 games that are at least 90% the same. How many games have you played like Cubivore? One… and that’s only if you’ve played Cubivore. It’s worth checking out, and it’s colorful, and a little complex. At the very least, it’ll make your NyQuil trip pretty interesting.
#2. Virtual Hydlyde (Sega Saturn)
This game is friggin’ weird. It’s perfect for playing while you’re under the weather. It’s impossible to get bored with. The map is randomly generated, and it’s so terrible it’s great. It’s also so great it’s terrible. You can Youtube some of the game play on this game.. but I won’t dare link it onto this article. I have not only a moral, but an ethical problem with that. It’s unspeakably horrible. Playing this game while you’re ill will be best if you take lots of breaks to puke. …because you’re sick. Oh and because the game sucks too.
#1. Dr. Mario (NES)
This is a classic, simple, easy, feel-good game. It’s not considered a “true Mario” game because there are no pipes, no raccoon tails, no fire flowers, no koopas, and no goombas. It’s a tetris-esque knock off with Mario thrown in to boost the sales numbers. It’s very worth it, and the best part is it’s beatable even if you’re sick as a dog.
There’s my rundown of how you should spend your sick time. Anything else is a waste of time. So instead of heading to the pharmacy aisle of your local grocery store, head to gamestop instead.
See you there.
The Jester.
*All images and videos are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws. All images obtained through Google image search. All videos obtained through Youtube search.*
I’ve been thinking about how to set up this nerdy Monday post for a while now. I batted it around, chewed it up, all that jazz, but I think I’m just going to dive right in.
I’m going to be talking about the first Transformers move directed by Michael Bay. Before the movie came out in 2007, the only other Transformers movie there was, was the full-length animated 1984 installment entitled Transformers: The Movie.
I remember the opening day of the movie. I went to the midnight sneak preview of the movie here in town. And let me just be clear about this, in my small corner of the world, movie theatres are never ever at risk of selling every seat in the house. But this night, it was a packed house. I had to get there more than an hour early to get a mediocre seat. I don’t know how to explain it, but in the theatre that night, the air was electric. Everyone was dressed up somehow in a Transformer’s tee-shirt, a few of them brought some action figures, one guy had boots on that looked like Optimus Prime’s feet!
I remember vividly the shock and awe, and the uncontrollable yelling and applause when Optimus first came on the screen. I remember the same thing happening when all the transformers, and the 2 main characters of the movie gathered in that alley and all of the Transformers started changing into their robot-form. It looked awesome, it looked detailed, and it looked like it could be real. It could have been happening right in front of us in real life, and we (the audience) couldn’t be more excited!
As I looked around the room, I noticed that everyone was right around my age. I was born less than one year after the pilot episode of the Transformers aired. So I literally grew up with all the characters from that show. I wish I still had all of the toys, comic books, and VHS tapes I recorded the show onto. It would be a treasure trove of awesome nostalgic memorabilia. And we all (I know I was) had been waiting for this movie to be made for a long time.
That same feeling came back to me when that movie was released on DVD/Blu-Ray and put on the Wal-Mart shelves. Again, I showed up at midnight, and waited eagerly for the stock boy to bring the palate jack out with the Transformers movie display on it. I waited along side 2 or 3 dozen other people all wearing Transformers shirts.. and the guy with the Optimus boots was there too. It was odd, I know, but it’s the truth.
Michael Bay is looked down upon by a few critics, but I think he did an awesome job with this movie. He knew how sentimental the fan base was, and did not disappoint. I don’t care that everyone says he has too many explosions in his movies. Or how he has too many jump-cuts to different scenes, or the whole Armageddon fiasco he was made fun of for. He took the Transformers and made something cool, even cooler. Bay even received an award from the man who created the Transformers AND the CEO of Hasbro (the company that makes/licenses the Transformer toys) for being humble, noble, and staying true to the morals upheld By the Transformers. Yes, he was that serious. [If you bought the special edition DVD with the bonus features on it, you’d know that already].
So not only did this pretty much make Michael Bay a pop culture icon, as well as a household name, it launched Megan Fox’s career.
Thank you Transformers. And Michael Bay.
Sure she’s done some crappy movies in between the filming of the Transformers/Bay movie franchise. Seriously, what was that whole Jennifer’s Body supposed to be? But no one is watching her for.. well, I think we all know what people watch her movies for.
Shia Lebeouf is also in the movie, he’s the star, or something. I don’t know, I think the people who did the voices of the robots should have been cast about Shia. Don’t get me wrong, I like Shia.. I actually watched him back in the day when he was on the Disney Channel show, Even Stevens. I think he’s hilarious! It just seemed a little off to me when he was cast as Sam Witwicky in Transformers, only because it’s a more dramatic role. It was different at first, and he did an okay job. I think he developed his character towards the end of the first movie. He just seemed more comfortable in the role, and it showed.
Who knew this kid would grow into his nose and be the guy a new generation of Transformer fans would want to be.
Oh and he made out with Megan Fox!
Overall, I am very pleased with the way these movies are unfolding. And the next one is being filmed in Washington D.C.! That’s my old stomping grounds! I was born and raised not too far from there. It sucks that they had an on set accident with one of the BumbleBee cars:
But with all the money involved in this franchise, I’m sure they have more than one of everything.
This movie is overly satisfying, nostalgic, clever, and just plain old awesome. It’s funny in the right spots, and very reminiscent of the old cartoons/comics. The only thing that irked me a little bit, was that GM plugged an entire line of cars to be used for the movies. I think they could have diversified the line up a little, just to make it more exciting. But I have to give them credit for making BumbleBee a Camaro, because in the old cartoons he was a VW Beetle. Or more commonly referred to as “the bug”. I can see how that’s a cool play on words, but for real, no one today would think of BumbleBee as an intimidating “Guardian” alien robot as a Bug.
Pictured: Definitely not a badass intimidating Guardian alien robot with a heard of gold.
I can’t wait for the next one to come out.
Fun Fact #1: Did you know the voice of Megatron was the same guy who played Agent Smith in the Matrix movies?
Fun Fact #2: And the guy who did the voice of Jazz (The Pontiac Solstice) is the guy who played Eddie Winslow (Steve Urkel’s friend) in Family Matters?
That’s it for now, see you in the ticket line for the next installment.
The Jester.
*All images and videos are property of their respective owners and may be subject to copyright laws. All images obtained through Google Search. All images obtained through Youtube.com Search.*
This time in my little OS-Lounge mini-saga, I’m going to tell you about the time that guy that got fired for drinking at work in the dish pit.
Let me set the “dish pit” up a little bit first. I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I haven’t done it justice. It’s hard to communicate with the other people in the kitchen, it’s hard to see who’s walking by, and more or less, it was like a dungeon. I guess it really wasn’t that bad, but that’s how you feel about your little corner of hell after a million 13 hour shifts.
It was so weird working in that stuffy little corner that… check this out:
One kid about 19 years old or so, we’ll call him Dusty. He worked there for about 3 weeks, and then one day while he was on break, he went outside to call someone back who had called his cell earlier in the day. After his break, he came back in and said “I think I have to go to jail.” He told Ted about it, and cleared it with everyone he needed to and left. His story didn’t add up, and no one ever saw him again. That’s right, the dude faked a jail sentence in order to get out of working there. It makes more sense now that I said it like that.
Back to the story at hand though; the person who trained the guy with the jail situation, we’ll call him Bruce, was not very professional at all. He showed up to work every day hungover or buzzed. Either way, he had the stench of alcohol all over him most of the time. Granted, most of the kitchen staff was like that too, but they got their job done. They also didn’t empty their paycheck out at the gas station and liquor store every week, either. He was borderline, if not a full blown alcoholic. And he was in charge of training most of the new dishwashers.
Before too long, he had trained one of the busboys’ brothers, and they were in the dish pit together most nights for the next few months. At least until one fateful night, when everything Bruce was doing outside of work came to a boil at work and exploded all over his face.
The busboys brother, we’re going to call Scruffy. He had a perpetual 5 o’clock shadow, and that’s the first word that came to my mind. And it’s my story, so I can name him whatever I want.
Anyways, one night, Bruce came in with 2 water bottles. Not just the standard 12 oz. size water bottle that most people carry. It was the big, I don’t know, 28 or 32 ounce bottles. However you want to slice it, those 2 bottles were big enough to hold a fifth of vodka. And back when I knew him, Bruce drank cheap, cheap vodka. The kind of cheap vodka that should have eaten straight through anything plastic. It was gross.
He brought in 2 bottles because he didn’t want to drink alone, so one bottle was for Scruffy, and the other was for Bruce. I could kind of see the thought process behind Bruce’s thinking, because the dish guys were so disconnected from everyone else, he figured no one would really notice that he was tying one on, while he was on the clock. Also I think his biggest problem was that he planned on his share of the vodka lasting his entire 10 hour shift. When in all actuality it lasted about 2 hours before it was gone.. and I don’t think Bruce ever ate anything before he clocked in.
So one sip of the vodka led to another. Then one broken plate led to another. Then one fall led to another. Larry ended up stepping in when Bruce was taking forever and a day to load dishes onto a tray, and push them through the dishwasher. Scruffy told me later that he could have smoked an entire cigarette in between each one of the trays that came out of the dishwasher. For anyone who hasn’t worked a commercial dishwasher, you can usually push about 40 trays through the machine in one minute. Needless to say it’s super slow when you’re only pushing 1 through every 7 minutes. Poor Bruce.
To this day I don’t know if Larry stepped in because he didn’t want Bruce to get in trouble, of because Ted & the management told him to. Larry made Bruce sit on a milk crate in the corner for a bit, to see if he would be able to sober up quickly. I think that if Bruce would have done as he was told – which was sit and stay like a good boy – he may have been alright, and been able to finish his shift without any help from Larry. BUT.. as drunk people are prone to not listening to what other people tell them to do, Bruce kept trying to stand up. He’d fall, then he’d break more dishes.
So Scruffy took it upon himself to take Bruce to the employee bathrooms in the back of the restaurant. Scruffy basically had to carry Bruce all the way to the bathroom, and sit him down on one of the 5 gallon buckets that littered the floor of the employee bathrooms. He wanted to keep Bruce there so he could smoke, and also to keep him away from any and all management that happened to be there that night. Bruce passed out on that 5 gallon bucket, only to wake up 20 minutes later. Determined as all get out, he tried to work again. He fell again. Now the management really knew about what was going on with him and was fed up enough with it (and rightfully so), so Bruce got sent out of the building, so he wouldn’t hurt himself or anyone else.
He was instructed not to drive home. And before long, he was gone.. so was his car. We all thought that he drove himself home, and everyone immediately got pissed because he drove home drunk. Not. Ever. Cool. We all found out later though that he had some people pick him up and take his car back to his house. Bruce was a good guy, so I believe it.
Some hours later (that same night), Bruce’s mom called the restaurant. She proceeded to yell at Ted, and then again at Larry. I don’t know, nor can I imagine what was said over the phone, but I know the guys in the BOH passed the phone around and let Bruce’s mom yell at one another for a while. The phone finally ended up in the hands of the head waiter/host (I’m not really sure what his official title was), but his name was Kyle. It’s against any restaurants policy to give out information on their workers, so Kyle wouldn’t answer any of Bruce’s mom’s questions. I can’t imagine how mad she got after that.
After that happened, Larry smoothed everything over with Bruce’s mom. He at least got her to hang up the phone. He went back to work along-side Ted, and Ted was so fed up with the whole situation that he fired Bruce. It was kind of hasty, but it had to be done.
The next morning, the owner’s husband, Houston, calls Bruce and tells him to “get his ass back to work, no matter how bad his hangover was.”
Everyone goes through hard times, sure. And I think everyone deserves to be forgiven at work once for something really bad like what happened that night. They forgave Bruce for that night, and he didn’t let it happen again [that anyone knew of, anyway].
A few months later, the owner came back to work after a period of leave. Bruce showed up one day on his day off to check the schedule while he was wearing an Outback work shirt. The owner smelled booze on Bruce (which was typical for him). After he left, she had a meeting with the other managers and anyone who was connected to the situation. I don’t know what was said but I know that they either called him that same day, or the next morning to fire him for real. To my understanding, he has never been back to the OS-Lounge since.
It’s weird how peoples’ moods change and the past is brought back around full circle. In my opinion Bruce should have been terminated the night he got plastered at work. That’s what he deserved. And in any other job he would have been. But since he worked in a restaurant.. C’est la vie.
Yes, for those of you out there that are wondering. I used the words “tribute”, “to”, “Canadian”, and “comedy” in that order, in the same sentence. I know a lot of people who look down to Canada/Canadians. Sometimes the way they pronounce the word “about” as “a-boat”, or the way they say “Zed” instead of “Zee” [like the letter], or the influence the French have over them is kind of funny to us Americans. That’s it, there’s no rebuttal here for that.
And the Canadians take it all in stride, as they are prone to do. But you have to hand it to them… some of their sitcoms and “mature cartoons” are far superior to the kind of comedy we have stateside.
The two examples that jump out at me right off the bat are: The Trailer Park Boys, and Odd Job Jack. We’ll take them one at a time.
The Trailer Park Boys are pretty much national treasures in Canada. They go on tour, had a successful 7 season run with their show, and have even gathered a pretty decent sized cult following in the U.S. I even read somewhere that they had the choice to shoot the show in Hollywood, but they had to give up some of the creative control and censor themselves for American television.
They opted to keep the show based in Canada due to that reason. Let me tell you up front, that there is a lot of foul language involved. There is also excessive drug references, and alcohol use (abuse?).
Obviously the show takes place in a trailer park. It revolves around the exploits and misadventures of the 3 main characters: Julian, Ricky, and Bubbles. There are a lot of running jokes throughout the show, but it’s also just so off the wall and randomly hilarious that you don’t have to watch the episodes in order. You can just jump right in and start laughing at the crazy dialogue, the wacky antics, and the overall persona of each character, no matter how major or minor they are. Check out a few of these “Best Of” clips, just to get the gist of the show:
The Best of Bubbles Part 1:
The Best of bubbles Part 2 (He’s my personal favorite character):
The Best of Ricky:
And check out this clip entitled “Best Police Chase Ever”:
It’s one of the guilty pleasures I have. Maybe it’s not for everyone. Maybe it wouldn’t have been as popular if it were shot in America. Maybe it’s a little rude, crude, and raunchy. That’s it, there’s no rebuttal here, either. It’s funny, it’s unique, it’s clever, and it’s Canadian.
Odd Job Jack is a cleaner version of the cutthroat style comedy the Trailer Park boys gives off. It’s a mature cartoon based in Canada, that’s comparable to The Simpson’s, Family Guy, American Dad, and the like. I found it while stumbling through Hulu one night, after I drank too much coffee and was forced to stay up way too late.
It revolves around the main character, Jack, who doesn’t have a steady job and is forced to work at a temp agency. I think we’ve all been there at one point in our life! Okay, I have, at least.. But this isn’t about me, it’s about Jack. Jack is a 20-something that lives with his pretty normal mother, his hippy-esque sister, and his pot smoking grandmother. He has an asian friend who helps run a family owned convenience store, and another friend who is a genius, but is also agoraphobic. You don’t have to look that one up, it means that he is scared of open spaces.. basically the opposite of claustrophobic, which means that he hates leaving his apartment.
So every episode Jack goes to the temp agency and is handed a different job. There’s quirky dialogue, awkward flashbacks, and the character of Jack himself is just goofy. It’s much more family friendly than the Trailer Park Boys (that goes without saying, I think), and it’s just a very enjoyable show to watch. It’s not as raunchy as some of the mature American cartoons, and it doesn’t rely on a lot of pop culture references the way Family Guy does. Or maybe it does, I just don’t know that much (if anything) about Canadian pop culture. Either way, it’s hysterical. Again, like the Trailer Park boys, it’s a series that doesn’t make you have to watch the beginning episodes to think the later ones are funny. I highly recommend watching a few episodes. It’s something fresh, and exciting. Something that probably not a lot of Americans have heard about, and if you’re reading this and you have heard about it, then good for you.. go get yourself some cookies. Check out a few of the clips below, and feel free to pass it along to your friends.
Those are two of my favorite episodes, anyways. If you have to sign up for a Hulu account, please do it. This is a very underrated cartoon that deserves more attention. I would love to own the DVDs so I can watch them anytime I want. If anyone feels like donating a set to me, e-mail!
It’s a maple leaf on their flag, not something else.. potheads.
The Jester.
*All videos are property of their owners and may be subject to copyright laws. All videos obtained through either Youtube search or Hulu search.”
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